Accepting & Acknowledging Mistakes: Accepting... - Headway

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Accepting & Acknowledging Mistakes


Accepting & Acknowledging Mistakes-

Firstly, it has come to my attention today that I may have behaved inappropiately in a post or two so if that is what's occured - that was never my intention so I wanted to apologise to all of you that I offended :)

I met online a person on here actually today named Rebecca Grant (bexx87) and in our first moments exchanging comments > it was pretty clear that I was being called out for my mistakes on HealthUnlocked and Becca was hell bent on putting me in my place which she did and I appreciate her for it.

So again, if I posted something on a Post or made a comment on someone's post that was interpreted as unfair and/or offensive - I AM SORRY

Rebecca and I continued our chat in private using 'Chat' on here and after learning what she has accomplished in her 29 years, I am whole heartedly impressed and I admire her.

Many of you out there on HealthUnlocked may feel like your life will no longer amount to greatness because of your injuries. You may feel that your story as you wanted to tell it, ended the day of your accident/incident. Take one look at bexx87's story and her post accident mind-blowing achievements and it WILL make you realise that you're the captain of your own ship and if you put your heart & mind in it, you will find your greatness.

Rebecca was involved in a road smash when she was only 13 years old. She, like many of us, suffered severe brain injuries and as a consequence could not like me; walk, talk, feed herself just to name a few setbacks, but she went on to earn 9 college qualifications and has an impressive CV that rivals the most successful.

( ).

Her story is not just uplifting and full of hope, but also a stark reminder that a Brain Injury does not have to be our full story - just a part of our lives.


37 Replies

Markus, I've read through your posts and found nothing inappropriate. 🌈 x

Hidden in reply to cat3

I didn’t think I was ever inappropriate, but thanks Cat for the reassurance :)

You’re like ‘The Oracle’ in here so your word is like gospel!

Thanks Cat!!!

cat3 in reply to Hidden

👍 x


Hi Mark I have replied to at least one of your posts before and have agreed that you are engaging and have a real wit about you.

I have read through your posts and they look fine and again engaging... everyone has their own opinions about things and we wouldn't post if most weren't looking for advice or opinions.

The only post I would take exception to is this one about bex as it gives a great deal of info about her including her full name and links to personal info. If you have her permission then there's no validation to my concern.

Carry on with the posts I'll be tuning in for more and consider writing that blog! 😁

Hidden in reply to Hidden

Good morning Rachel ☀️

You have this knack of always putting a smile on my face 🙂

Thanks again for the sweet words.

For better or worse (admittedly it’s 80/20), my very close friend Sam calls me ‘No Filter Markus’ lol because I literally post-accident - just feel it and blurt it out!

I’m very see through and truthful, but not having a choice in the matter sucks sometimes so thanks for calling me out on this post and I will contact Becca now to ask if using her personal details is okay 👌🏼

Thank you!

Hidden in reply to Hidden

Ha i see i'm in good company my hubby and sometimes work colleagues tell me i have no filter too. Hubby also tells me i'm spesh (special) don't think he means it endearingly's usually when i've done something wrong.... like trying to get into a car that looks like ours but isn't. LOL

I think it would definitely be wise to speak with Bex.

Hidden in reply to Hidden

omfg!! LOL Rachel, I just did that the other day yet again and I thought I was past that!

My landlord/friend Marcos took me in his car to a big Carrefour (Our Tesco) and I haven't been in his car before so before walking back after shopping, I said 'just a sec' with rubbish I was holding I wanted to find a bin to throw it away.

Found the bin yay! so I threw my sh*t away and ever-so casually strolled back to what I believed subconsciously was his car. I pulled at the passenger door handle as you do and the door was locked! I went to knock lightly on the glass when I came to and realised the engine wasn't even running anymore and OMG this isn't his car lol

He was in the car with the same colour just behind it!

So almost looked like a 'ladron' (spanish for thief) and if there was security watching me, I probably would have been tased in the neck :)

Rachel don't for a second feel like you're alone lol - I'm 'spesh' too!

I thought some of your "choice" language was quite unnecessary Markus, you are eloquent enough not to use what to some oldsters is still foul language.

Hidden in reply to fredikins

morning :)

thanks man for sharing how my post resonated with you. I think it's only 'common decency' to give you a heads up on me and subsequently - any of my future posts.

No one is 'immune' to a brain injury and no one will just regenerate the damaged parts or chemical imbalances and I am no exception.

My brain is in some ways "Irreparably damaged" and speaking what I think at the moment I'm thinking it is something I have to live with. 8 times out of 10, I say the right things, but there does exist that every now and then where I speak my mind, but it's actually inappropiate or just plain rude/wrong.

I'm human man. I don't have an online template that I type into and it spits out a "better version". I'm an adult male, 29 years old and like many if not most - I curse sometimes.

You may notice that I never spell it out completely in case children see my post/s so I always use an astrix *. Like Holy Sh*t!

That's me trying to always be "real", but staying mindful that our younger peers should not be accidentally seeing my trashy mouth.

I am sorry Fred if I've offended you, but I really cannot help it.

The first thing you're probably thinking now is "why don't you just read then instead of posting?"

I believe just based on the uplifting feedback I have gotten from members of this community; I help some and my positivity is more than welcomed :)

Look man - in this life as I'm sure you're aware, there are an extraordinary amount of two-faced people so being able to not be in that 'crowd' by saying it like I see it, I have taken this new reality of mine with a pinch of salt & I'm sorry if I came across in the wrong way for you :)

I think I probably understand what Bexx87 meant, I have no problem with what some people may find as offensive language, you should hear my daughter.

Compared to some people on other sites I prowl, you're a saint and I would hope people here will have met TBIs with filter issues, I have quite a reputation myself in real time.

We're a community and like a family we'll support even if you're not perfect.

Hidden in reply to sealiphone

I’m sitting here reading your comment and after your ‘reputation myself’ statement I’m thinking 🤔 do I know her/about her?!?!?!?

And then Bam! It hits me! I have heard about you! You’re quite an outright beast at times!

lol I’m kidding around and thanks for the smile :)

sealiphone in reply to Hidden

If I knew how to include a smiley emoji I'd be a full family member, I suspect I may have been adopted.


lol just hold down 'shift' an press the ; key and the 0 at the same time :)

Hidden in reply to Hidden

Hahahaha I’m such a pratt!!!

Hidden in reply to Hidden

I’ve been doing it for like 17 years so it’s almost like a second nature kinda thang


That didn't work, obviously I'm lacking that gene

Hidden in reply to sealiphone

I meant shift + : then let up then shift + )

Hidden in reply to sealiphone

If this was drugs related, you’d be a crackhead lol

Hidden in reply to sealiphone

Has it worked now?

sealiphone in reply to Hidden

Not yet but it took me a long time to realise hitting the computer keypad hard didn't produce a more legible letter.

My daughter's back from uni next week I'll smile then!

Hidden in reply to sealiphone

Press down on the ‘shift’ key and then without lifting your left hand index finger, press : key with your right index finger and Walah! You’ll see a : on your screen

Obviously, let go and restart, but this time hold down [shift] and at the same time press the ) key and let go and you will see a smiley face on your screen.

Yes it will look very old school and analog, but when you publish your message the site will recognise your smiley and make it look more like 🙂

sealiphone in reply to Hidden

Nah I've given up, as my daughter's doing Mechatronics it'll least make her laugh.

Await the new millenium man, coming soon. (smiley)

0101 in reply to sealiphone

Hello...although reading this thread has made me laugh - thank you :-D :-D - this is intriguing me now!!? Depending on how you access this site - mobile/pc/tablet etc you can type characters using your keyboard/pad...Your characters may be on different keys and need the shift key pressed to get to the other one displayed.

It's three characters, that you can type separately

a colon followed by dash followed by right bracket...

: then - then )


I would be oddly pleased if this worked!!

:-) and :-D

ps it was the idea that you couldn't smile until next week that really got to me somehow!??? I realise this is daft and your face does a much better job than a computer...

Hi Hidden - that was a very gracious apology and impressive how you took someone calling you out. Really lovely to read, especially online, where communication seems to be fraught sometimes!? :-)

Hidden in reply to 0101

Thank you for those very nice & complimentary words :) - In a way it’s kinda made my day

:-) :-) :-) seeing as emoticons are the theme of the day!

Well you made me think and take stock. What you said was brave.

I have not visited here as often of late. I too have sometimes been troubled by posts (not of yours, as I've been away and hadn't read any), and aware of others being so, on here (and online in general it's not just Headway). Sometimes it gets divided, and when people post 'well I didn't think there was anything wrong' or 'I wasn't offended' etc it may be intended well, but it utterly invalidates those who do. It sometimes gives people licence to be a little harsher than they realise as supporting one person can be, by default, not supporting another. People who are 'friends' or longstanding members have piled in to defend and there are times when members then disappear, sometimes without comment, or trace. This always saddens me. It's not taking offence easily - I'm fairly robust - but it has been vicious at times and I step right back when I see a hint of that. Before I do, I try to be gently supportive and kind (!?) when I see it, but then you tend to get targeted. It's a fine line, but we aren't all always privvy to everything. There's a lot going on behind the 'front end' sometimes, and the other members and moderators have a vital role in keeping this space supportive, and that I'm very, very grateful for!

Hidden in reply to 0101

Woah thank you for taking the time to say that :)

My impression of my own head injury and how it’s affected me is both very positive and quite negative.

I now find that I still talk just as much sh*t lol, but I’m no longer just bothered about myself and my feelings.

Maybe the reason for this ‘personality upgrade’ is the result of being cared for and liked so much during what will forever be - the most challenging and difficult part of my life. Maybe it’s ‘divine intervention’ or just luck, but regardless of why, I’m grateful to not be so arrogant and self-involved anymore.

I have always been a ‘smarter person’ and that’s probably what led me to be arrogant and always hungry for success so if someone in person or here online said anything I didn’t like, I’d straight away bite their head off! Now, I’m just not like that and I take a step back and respect that different people are going to have different ideas. Sometimes I’ll say the wrong, indefensible thing and rather than getting on my high horse, I breathe and try to understand both sides.

Like me, you appear to speak your heart when you write so I’m actually really drawn to you.

I don’t know who you are or anything about you really, but I hope we get to ‘hangout’ on here more :)

0101 in reply to Hidden

From a former smart and driven person to another...

I'm surprised what I learn here which is at times unnerving but powerful. I laughed as you make yourself sound like a robot with your firmware upgrades, and your writing about the result of being cared for and liked really struck home. It seems such a simple recipe. I'm still fairly smart and driven, but what I view as success is radically different and it makes life different.

We sometimes float in little bubbles, but your honesty is appreciated. Why aren't others who haven't had a whiff of brain injury as aware eh?? Silver linings in dark moments I guess. It's a funny path we walk alone, but others on the way make it possible, and even fun.

I prize kindness above all and firmly believe it takes more guts and intelligence to do. We all mess up all the time, I'm trying to delight in it and accept it. Hmm. Work in progress.

Hidden in reply to 0101

hey you :) sorry for not replying - I was doing a 4k trek like I do twice every week, but genius here, decided to buy about 14 kilos of shopping and carry it while walking 3,1km home lol with a pretty useless left arm. So to cut an even longer story short - I'm physically tanked now and just sitting down for dinner so we can talk later :)


:-) I've now joined the Space Race!

Hidden in reply to sealiphone

I just read your profile and now it makes sense man! My mother has been a lawyer (criminal defence trial, immigration among other things) for over 30 years and she was a lawyer before I came along so every night when she came home - it was law this and law that so I grew up kind of like a mini-mom and that's why it makes sense man that I'm drawn to the way you speak for yourself :)

0101 in reply to sealiphone

WWHHOOAAH Sparta!!!!

I couldn't do smiley faces and after asking my daughter last week, who replied she had shown me couple weeks ago as I asked her to show me then, but I couldn't remember asking her or her showing me but now I got it. So that bit about how you do smiley faces, made me laugh 😂😂😂

Hidden in reply to sammm2k

Very nice :)

When I was growin up I started working away on my first computer at age 9 or 10 and up until not too long ago only Unicode characters were possible, but now you Unicode, but once you publish it shows an emoji

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