so fed up its been 3 years since block fell on my head long story hospital pain etc after operation i am finally pain free but only just getting rehab i look normal and yes i can eat wash myself and even wipe my own arse but day to day life is so hard my memory is bad speech can some times be a problem and when i see my consultant or people attached to my case all i hear is you are doing well ....... oh yea so well i struggle to hold down a job dont meet criteria for benefits try so hard to get work explain to future employers yes i had a T.B.I. but i can do things im not STUPID 16th march 2016 changed my life and my familys sometimes i just want to shout out but then how would they look at me oh look hes going mad ...no im not i am so frustrated of wanting a normal life SORRY BUT I NEEDED TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST
Is there anyone else in this situation
Written by
albuhera56
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The majority of us, believe me. Its only when you experience head injury that you realise the consequences.
Its taken me a long time to be able to say “ I have a brain injury and it is for life”
I am 7 years into recovery and i still suffer as you do, i still want my old life back, and i am not stupid either but that is where awareness of brain injury needs to be more commonplace.
I sympathise with you, if i could find a way to heal everyone who suffers as we do I would.
Off load your frustrations as often as you must, i and others read and understand you.
Thank you so much for your reply it means a lot and yes I did take my health for granted always running around getin jobs done quicker taking odd risk then BOOM life changed in an instant I feel better this afternoon as I may have chance of work it's only gardening but keeps me busy will know Monday and your reply has put smile on my face thank you so much
i too am 7yrs post abi. yes i look normal apart from a behavioural issue ( well amongst other things ) and i do let rip. i let people know that they havent got a clue, they may have the letters after their names, but until they actually experience an abi / tbi they dont know what they are talking about.
Years ago I had a gardening round. More work than I could handle. I put cards in shops in areas with big houses and gardens. The winter months were not so good but if you enjoy Horticulture it could be a whole new career. I wouldn't do grass though as there are people who just do grass very cheap.
Seven years for me too ! It IS a hard slog overcoming the changes after a brain injury, but for people with dependants there's obviously the added pressure of earning and providing. I only had myself to think about so I could concentrate on my needs alone, but there are always tough challenges for everyone in their different ways.
I hope your gardening job works out on Monday. Come back and give us an update won't you. We're always here to listen, whether it's good news or a healthy rant ! Have a good weekend Albuhera……. Cat x
P.S., you might find 'Remploy' useful for future support/advice on employment for people with health issues... 😐
Had my brain haemorrhage 28/1/2019 was an electrical test and inspector now look ok but struggle with memory and if in a bust environment thing overwhelm me some kind of sensory overload going on, but because I look ok, I must be fine, benefits office trying to push me over the edge. I don't have any debts but will have shortly.
Good morning thanks for reply I know how u feel if I go Tesco's with my wife I have to be near her all time I feel like a kid and I hate myself for it we have lost friends and dont go out like we used to as I'm not same as before so much to write could go on and on but like i been told it's a new me and i have to adjust
I've have found if I'm in a room alone with not much going on I'm ok. The busier my environment then sensory overload occurs and it's scary. I am now beginning to understand the brain and how much it does and how pre injury we take it all for granted. This is the most frustrating time of my life ever and I have lost family and friends because if their ignorance and inability to understand.
Things will improve over time, you have to give it some patience and accept that you will not quite be the same. For sensory overload issues, I brought some SENNER ear plugs which cuts out noise at a distance and in busy places, I looked down as this helped. I had my SAH 9 months ago but have managed to get back to nearly full time. I have had to work differently ss I cannot multi task. I work in a school so you can imagine noise levels. Give it time and find supporting ways of coping. I hope this helps x
I accept that I am not the same person as before and find myself telling others exactly that, I find it's others who don't get it that frustrates the life out of me.
That's no excuse, they can read about it as I have had to do, instead of assuming I'm ok and the same person I was. I have changed and will never be the old me.
they dont know what we go through on a day to day basis, yes they can read up on it, get a degree and specialise like the the docs we see, but they will never know, because they arent suffering!!!
Correct but also ignorantly presuming all is fine as I don't have physical imperfections but they know I have had a brain heamorrage is shameful to say the least. It's cost me family and friends.
did i say all was fine? i think not. my wife has 5 sisters 2 brothers, 1 brother we never see, 1 brother thinks my outbursts are funny, 2 sister in laws accept me for the way i am, the rest are affraid of me.
when i used to go to the pub, the landlady said if the noise got too much, i could use their accomodation and one of the girls would get my beer ( both over 18, id watched them grow up and i explained to them ).
i would just like to give a big shout out and say THANKYOU to all that replied and contributed to my post i have just been showing my wife saying look im not the only one we had a moment i admit i broke down for a while but now tears have gone i feel so much stronger i just wished i had found this site years ago i have to see my consultant on tuesday at addenbrookes to go over the latest M.R.I. i used to enjoy running and cycling but was told to stop { in case u injure urself } yes i had balance issues before times i crashed on my bike but id get back on and finish bit bruised and sore but i did it and now im going to go in there tuesday and say ok you have the qualifications you studied for years and your an expert in your field but and its a big but you havnt lived it you dont even understand how it feels to have your life swiped in an instant to be told sorry u dont fit in sorry cant claim that sorry it will get better REALY PLEASE TELL ME WHEN i will have my life back i will go running i will cycle again and i going to say to him check out this site read about peoples lives how they were what they have now you will learn so much more and maybe instead of saying .....hello sorry for the wait we running behind feed me full of bullshit and scan pics well your doing ok we see you in 6 months bye now ................. you the consultant will have some understanding of T.B.I. what it does to people and their families ... RANT done with thankyou to all i will go on from today stronger and more positive i will try to get as much of the old me back as i can hopefully monday i will get the job and build new life i will post on here how things go
The breaking down happens too me since my heamorrage my emotions have gone haywire apparently because the site of the bleed was on the right side near the frontal lobe, which affects emotions.
you tell your good lady, we no longer have control over our emotions, as jason says. i cry for no reason at all, the big man, men dont show emotions, now ive got to accept.
Alb, We all get our off days and some good days when you look back and say "Well Win today was an okay day" (Often talk to self). Others have been bad, so I take the good ones when they come. I use my time specially for me and Family as Sisters sang to me and Hubs and Daughter made sure I had good carers. Was out over a year until shunt was fitted xxx So welcome to the survivors club xxxx Lots do not make it so I count myself as a lucky one, keep a smile at hand for the horrid days we sometimes get. We can beat this and if not I'll sing a song XX Good luck to Us All xxxx
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