Anxious and feeling hopeless

[Irmina1983]

Hi everyone. That’s my first post here. Suffered ruptured aneurysm 3 months ago. Went through surgery. Since back home feeling very anxious every day. Sad and wondering if I’ll ever get over it and if I’ll be normal again. Have very supportive family and partner but still feel pretty bad.

[aaa2018]

Hi it’s been a year for me (april 3 2018). And it does get better ❤️❤️❤️

[Irmina1983 in reply to aaa2018]

Thank you very much. Just want things happen now !! I know I need time. Just can’t manage any more. Feel out of my body. Just want to feel normal again.

[aaa2018 in reply to Irmina1983]

I m back to normal but somehow I m not the same I guess I ll never be. I think I will need more time to accept that. And my long hair was shaved back in August for cranioplasty and it is very short now and that bothers me a lot. Wish u all the best but I think people who go through this are never the same again. ❤️ And here i m complaining about my hair again 🙄 when there are people out there who can’t walk

[eileenleach in reply to aaa2018]

That’s just brought memories back, I had shoulder length hair which was lovely n dreaded the shaving off bit so got it cut very short one side n bit longer on other so it wunt seem so bad from then to them shaving it, I woke up after my first op n although bandaged up i could still feel my hair, n had to wait for bandage to come off, when it did my hair was all bloody n Matty but still there, they shaved a line literally where they cut my head n that was it, n I hated my hair short n it took forever to grow back x

[eileenleach in reply to Irmina1983]

Ur lucky to be alive, don’t rush things u av done so well n if u look on headway website u will feel a bit better in yourself knowing ur not the only one feeling this way xx

[JULIETstevens in reply to aaa2018]

it's been 4 years for me and i'm back home with my husband and 2 children, doing the hobbies i love (writing my 2nd novel) and feeling great. Stay positive, love life and find things and people who make you happy. Hope you feel better soon. We're all going through the same thing and are all here for you on here. xoxo

[cat3]

Returning home after my haemorrhage 7 years ago I felt exhausted and apprehensive about the future. But I came to understand that this reaction is common, and probably PTSD associated.

We're unable to process such a traumatic event as it's happening due to our brain's incapacity but, as the reality dawns and the aftershock kicks in, it can be emotionally overwhelming. But bear in mind Irmina that severe fatigue is the inescapable issue we all face after any brain injury and the weariness can feel so unnatural & depressing at first.

Allow yourself much more time to adapt to the changes in your brain and to gauge how much activity you can cope with. Take regular light exercise (walking's best if you're able) eat healthily, rest whenever you feel the need and drink lots of water to keep your brain hydrated.

If your low mood persists your GP might be able to prescribe a mood stabiliser. But this is very early days so go easy on yourself and look forward to better days ahead whilst your poorly brain recuperates.

All best wishes, Cat x

[Irmina1983 in reply to cat3]

Thank you very much for replying. I’m not very patient to be honest. Want things happen now. Just doubt that I’ll back to normal. Crying every day. Pushing myself to the limits. Just want to feel normal again.

[cat3 in reply to Irmina1983]

It's a mistake we've all made in the early days ! I came home quite confident that I'd step straight back into my usual routine and immediately insisted on walking to the shops alone (not allowed to drive at that time). There was much opposition but I was aggressively adamant and off I trotted (though aware of my pal following at a distance). I collapsed into bed afterwards but put it down to lack of regular exercise, so continued trying to prove doctors, family, everyone wrong..

It took around 5-6 months to grasp that the old me was obsolete and I'd have to accept the new version because I was on the verge of exhaustion. It wasn't 'til I joined Headway and read all the comments on the forum about the vital acceptance of impairment after brain injury and how pushing too hard to achieve 'normality' is counter productive and can slow down the healing process.

Fighting one's own brain is a recipe for failure, but we all think we know ourselves and our capabilities best. The catch is we're no longer that person we knew and the way forward is to accept and nurture the person we've become...…...someone who can test their boundaries but shouldn't ignore them ; progress after brain injury won't be rushed. A bit scary at first and only with time and practice (or trial and error) do we get the hang of it.

Good luck Irmina…… x

[ladybird777 in reply to Irmina1983]

I was the same. I used to sit on the stairs crying and looking at all the mess and wanting to be better and you will get much better. You do need to pace yourself tho and be kind to yourself.I was pregnant with 4 children under the age of 5 and it was horrendous. I came out of a HDU to home. What a shock that was but things slowly improved. If I could tell the old me anything I'd say sleep as much as possible, take things one step at a time and don't future trip on what if's. The old me did none of those things and my recovery was all the harder.

[Tim_I_am]

It will get better, I remember when I first came on here after my tbi. I had to give up my car licence and hgv licence due to the seizures caused by my tbi. Nearly at two years now and trying to get my hub licence back.

I’m no longer the same person I was before and I still miss that person. But I’m getting on better with who I am now. But with family and friends around me and people here to share stories I feel like I’m getting there.

The first few months were definitely the worst. I never thought it would be possible to reach the stage I’m at now. I couldn’t cope with noise, people and found it so hard just to think.

So keep believing it will get better and try not to push yourself. It’s the mistake I made trying to do more and more and it just left me exhausted. Take care of yourself and accept every bit of help you can get.

[Kavib]

Sorry to hear but it’s good that it has been treated. It’s going to take time and just stay positive and everyday will be better than the day before. I have done a YouTube video of my days after hospital link here it may help : youtu.be/7V5ESdgSnrU(Not working as expected?)

X

[moo196]

It's hard.

Take heart from the replies you have had so far.

I'm running out of time atm but it does get better.

Be kind to yourself, do some yoga?, eat well, get outside, talk to others colouring, singing, art, .. It took me a year to realise I was never going to be the same person as before.. But now I try to think of it as "new improved" and it makes you find out what is really important in life.

I've travelled extensively since.....

Keep going!

[WinB]

Hi Irmina, I was in cuckooland for a year and remember nothing, you have a long way to go but we are the Survivors, You must never give up. I was given doom and gloom outlook by B.I.Team . Like "what makes you think you'll walk again" I said to them back "What makes you think I wont" and they signed me off no physio or anything apart from in Hospital before Hydrocephalus had cleared up via shunt. Remember us survivors are here for a reason to tell our stories and let others know they aren't the only ones and with time and help things do get better for us. we are the lucky ones, and get that smile working on bad days. I always tel people to sing happy songs and keep a smile at hand for poo days. We are not all the same but I will say to you ..Look back not in a week or two's time but this time next month and see if you have progressed. Our Families have gone through it with us and loved ones. So never give up we are in it for the long haul. Look back in 1/ 2 months and see if you have improved. Bet you will have xxx Keep the faith and try your best xxxx Drink lots of water our injured head needs it xxx

[Irmina1983 in reply to WinB]

Thank you very much Win. I think I need time to accept what’s happened to me. It’s hard. Just want to back to normal. I know I need time and patience.

Thanks very much. For your reply.

[WinB in reply to Irmina1983]

Pleasure Irmina,

I promise I wont sing when heads playing up lol keep happy xx

[JULIETstevens in reply to WinB]

it will get better. i'd say to do the hobbies you used t to love. I wrote a novel before i was ill (when i wasn't working as a solicitor) and now, post injury i've just finished writing a sequel novel. I also wrote a piece entitled 'what it's like to have a brain haemorhage and survive' which is getting published by the brain haemo society. So, there is hope , progression and re-birth as a better, upgraded version of you. xoxo

[neilhapgood]

Yeah I felt exactly the same! I am at a kids party atn so short on time but I did put some thoughts into a website that may be of some interest to you braininjuryftp.com

[June2018]

Hi my partner is the same she has a burst 6 months ago still in bed recovering she feels very low in her self been away couple times didn't do much except sleep she says she feels scared and sad all the time

[michael-Noel]

Keep strong keep positive had what you had but I'm all good and life is pretty normal little short term memory issues that's all 2 burst arteries 6 coils I get a bit down and moody from time to time but that's my only real symptom xx

[Irmina1983 in reply to michael-Noel]

Thank you Michael. But afraid I’ll never be normal again. That’s scary

[michael-Noel in reply to Irmina1983]

Hey what's normal to one person is not to another live be happy and believe

[debs-86]

Hey Irmina, I suffered a brain injury in a car accident 5 years ago (can't believe it's been that long now). I know when you hear people talk about their head issues happening to them "X" amount of years ago its hard not to think "yes, but you seem to be dealing with it/adjusted to live with it now..." but what you have to remember is that at that moment in time we were all just as scared as you are now. I remember that exact feeling. I was lying in a hospital bed trying to look at a television screen but my head just wasn't "normal". I felt as though I was drunk. I remember at that moment feeling so scared and alone. I was frightened that I was going to be like that forever. It's such a lonely feeling because you feel that nobody can relate. But as others have said, please be confident that you will probably get better. I'm not back to 100% what I was before, I'm a little different, but that is my new normal. I get tired and worn out more easily, but for the most part I can still live a good life! It hasn't held me back from doing most of what I've wanted to do (which includes undertaking a degree at uni), it just means that it is a little harder...but it's doable! Have confidence in yourself and your ability to recover back to a "normal" feeling, whether that is an old normal or a new normal. But yeah, you can't rush these things lol. xx

[Irmina1983 in reply to debs-86]

Thank you Debs soo much. It’s hard just feel like I’m gonna be like that forever. Scary to be honest. Happy you are doing well!!! Take care plenty

[jujuverdi]

My husband had the same 5 years on he is still anxious, he is in pain, if the weather changes his head has the fog, he goes on a site for brain ayresum called behind the gray , and it really helped him knowing he wasn’t alone, I come on here because I don’t want to see what he is posting to me it’s his release and on here I can get support try that site I hope it helps you keep in touch x

[Fificakes2]

Yes don't beat yourself up about feeling bad. You've had a massive shock and change to your life. Also with brain damage there is no set limit to get to and you always want to be your best, so you will push it. I'm speaking from experience and you have to exhaust yourself so you know how far you can go and what you can cope with. I always think the worst thing would be to believe you .

Yes don't worry and it will get better and easier to manage, it's just a really hard time.

[aaa2018]

hi i was just wondering how are you doing its been a year since your sah hope you are better

[spideyman]

Of course you’ll be normal again. Read my profile