Anxious-going on day trip

[New_beginning]

Wrapping sons birthday presents last night and I cried, this time last year me and son had to pin husband down whilst in drive thru was horrible, another haunting image.

Tomorrow I'm taking husband out to somewhere new since TBI slightly anxious but socially our toddler needs it really bad. Our son who I was relying on now decided to go cinema with friends (I cant say no, hes hardly seen his small group of friends). Basically I thought when planning this week son would come as a little family trip plus extra support hes so good calming husband down.

It will take hour drive each way depending on traffic and aim 2hrs visit this is pushing it, never done this timescale before and first time husband left 2miile safety net from house. I take toddler out every 2 weeks due to work, caring demands just on our own and travel out for her social needs.

Were going to the beach, thought I best go before kids break up .

Anyway determined to follow this plan through, but anxious. Will keep you updated how it went.

[Nanapal]

I hope you have a lovely day out and it all goes well. Best wishes Nanapal. x

[ksws]

Really hope it goes well for you all x

[Skallagrigg]

Really hope all goes well

[123Bereft]

Will be thinking of you, I really hope you have an enjoyable day xx

[Pairofboots]

Hope you have a good day, what happened in the past is a memory. This trip you know more, do as much as you are comfortable with x

[Windlesham]

I hope your trip goes well. I really identify with you not wanting to clip your sons wings but wanting the reassurance and back up his presence brings. My husband is 3 years on from a major stroke with aphasia and I am trying to wean myself off of the security of having my adult so at home for my husband if I go out for the evening and just rely on the call alarm.

[New_beginning]

All went as planned, back home now. Left 9am this morning back1:15pm. My word Toddler the culprit slight trigger towards the end. Be interesting how the rest of day goes now.

[Skallagrigg in reply to New_beginning]

Brilliant well done so happy

[cat3]

Well done girl ! Hope it's a calm & restful evening for you ; you deserve it... xx

[New_beginning]

I've been wide awake since 4am, its 8:06pm toddler settled. It was a good day and continues. I'm laughing now typing this Husband sat in passenger seat with just boxers on all the way home lol wet through on return being in mucky seawater.

You know, I didnt take any fags with me aswell he hates me smoking, I didnt want any triggers, however I knew this at 4am and I hold hands up I made use of those few hours before toddler up with great quantity of coffee.

I plan to redo same place early September when kids back at school. Big achievement today, still cant believe we did it. Thank you everyone for the good lucks x

[Nanapal]

So pleased your day went well. Hope it has given your confidence a boost and you go on to have many other good days out with your family. You are the cornerstone of the family & deserve some relaxation & enjoyment away from all the usual stresses of your days. Hope the sun keeps shining for you all. Take care Nanapal. x

[New_beginning]

It has helped with confidence today, a post while back been playing on mind in a good way about pushing boundaries accessing community, then that horrible BI team meeting knocked me back in May, when they mentioned hes not safe or ready to be with BI OT to access community due to behaviour.

Honestly part from on here, no one knew I was doing this, not got anyone physically to tell, but my phone pings to my watch and it was lovely seeing the support from here. X

[Pairofboots in reply to New_beginning]

Really good news. Glad it went well. I don't blame him with the toddler, I still react to toddlers, especially when they have a hissy fit, but most of the time I can keep my mouth shut these days (just give them the mad old geezer stare 😉)

The OT has a different threshold of risk assessment, they have to have every angle covered, even a minor incident could be regarded as 'an untoward incident' for them, and spark an inquiry. When I worked on the ward's, we had to have a written risk assessment with all the i's dotted and the t's crossed before we did any escort, especially community leave, even then we had some hairy moments to extricate from. The subsequent reports often took longer than the escort to complete.

Keep hold of how well your day out went, it is a big step to take, and an achievement you planned and executed with success. X

[Gimliwoman]

Was just sitting here after yet another blow up with husband. I had a SAH just over five years ago which has been devasting for both of us. However I was really moved to read about your plans and also the fact that the day went well. I wish you and your family all the happiness in the world.

[New_beginning]

Update: Delayed response in what I expected Friday afternoon has now happened. I will still stick to early September visit though and monitor, may be useful with BI OT Review around that time too, plus will make sure I dont book long weekend off work possibly me being around too much then me not being around (I dont know).

On the positive note our first 3 weeks which is record breaking 🥳 with few dips and we achieved something new.