In February I had a plate fitted to replace the skull that had been removed after my accident. All was going well until 4 weeks later when I became very ill. I ended up in hospital and it was discovered my plate had become infected. I had to have it removed, which I was devastated about. It was then found out that the infection was Sepsis. I spent a further 2 weeks in hospital recovering. I’m now recovering at home. I’ve been put back 6 months. Physically I don’t feel too bad. It’s the emotional effect that’s worse. The hospital wants to put a new plate in, in a few months. I’m terrified the same thing will happen again. At the moment I’m at home unable to do very much as my headaches have returned. The slightest excursion brings them on. I feel trapped in a pointless existence. I’m questioning the actual point of my existence and I feel like I’m waiting to die. That when the next plate is in it will happen again and this time it will kill me. I came very close before. The sepsis was at a point where it was shutting everything in my body down. It’s such a good job I went to hospital when I did. Anyway I’m in an awful place, feeling like my life is over, I have no purpose and I’m just waiting for death to arrive. I can’t be positive, I’ve tried. This latest incident has taken all my confidence in the fact that I’ll recover and maybe have a life at all close to the one I had before. Each day is so hard to get through at the moment.