Turn for the worst

[Devaiur59]

Hi everyone, hope you all keeping well . I am posting today as I am really really upset as my dad has taken a turn for the worst. The last couple of weeks, he has become increasingly more agitated, aggressive, confused and it’s happening all day, evening, and through the night.

We are all doing are doing are best to keep my dad at home, but it’s really starting to become a struggle. My poor mum is over over tired, and at her wits end. We are terrified to let his care co- ordinator know who is over him know as they will section him, and we are scared they won’t let him back home.

My mum has nearly lost her husband once through the cardiac arrest, and she was a mess the whole time he was in a coma, so she is trying her hardest to keep him at home where he belongs as she is so scared to lose him again.

He was sectioned a few months ago, and we really had to fight to get him back home and they basically said if we couldn’t cope this time, he would be put in a place where it’s a locked facility, but it would be much worse and we would even have to arrange to visit him prior to turning up, and even then we wouldn’t be allowed to see him every day.

As you can imagine, that is not an option, and we could not do that too him but we are all really struggling. It would be awful for my dad in that situation, and especially because he literally has a one minute or even shorter memory, he would not remember if anybody harmed him so he could not tell us.

This is all like a bad nightmare at the moment, and this at the moment is the worst it’s ever been. Has anybody in here had experience of this, and did themselves, or your loved one improve in time with confusion and aggression as not sure my mum can handle this for the rest of her life 😞

[Hidden]

Oh how I feel for you all. It does seem though that you should let someone know so that they can check out his medication - maybe a change of treatment could make all the difference. Your family cannot go on like this or it will destroy you all. Talk to Headway and see if they can suggest anywhere he could go for respite to give you all a break that would not be a permanent removal. You must be careful as one of you could come to real harm from his behaviour and then the police would be involved and the matter would be taken out of your hands (I know, I have had this happen). Headway could also suggest a solicitor to you who may be able to help you, I know they have details of solicitors who know about brain injuries. It is worth a try.

Good luck to you all.

[Devaiur59 in reply to Hidden]

Hi, we have literally gone through all the medications, in all different doses to see which one suited him the most and they either don’t seem to do much, or make him worse.

Next week they are adding melotonin and hopefully this helps but not optimistic about it even tho it’s worth a try .

Just a living nightmare at the moment as he is not having good times at the moment, the chemicals in his brain must have changed or something.

Just feel like having a good moan today because I’m fed up. Here is hoping for a better day tomorrow

[Hidden]

Hi,

My friend's mother has been sectioned on and off her entire life as she is schizophrenic - the drugs level her for a while then she escalates to violence, then they have to rejig the cocktail and she levels - and so it goes.

I'm not suggesting that this is the case with your father but if there are any forums for this or other similar issues they may also have people who have similar experiences that may be able to help you?

Don't give up hope of finding a way through this.

[Devaiur59 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Version2, that’s what they have done all along, and he probably does need his drugs changing again. They are saying they are going to increase his olanxapine or however you spell it, and re introduce melatonin. Hopefully it resets him again so we can have some normality.

[Devaiur59 in reply to Devaiur59]

Also we are scared to allow them to section him again as they can apparently keep him for up to 2 years next time without our permission as you only get one chance to appeal or something.

Just a crazy crazy time, and it’s the uncertainty of what’s to come, or what’s going to happen next that’s so scary. I know we are not prepared to give up yet, but just hope we all stay sane in the meantime because it’s so hard some days . Thanks for your reply’s

[Devaiur59 in reply to Devaiur59]

Sorry to post again but also last time he was sectioned, we had to complain a few times as some of the staff were awful with him, and they also left him in some bad states which was just as hard to deal with as having to see my dad in a place like that

[Hidden]

That sounds terrifying. You need some real immediate help. Definitely keep coming on here to talk but please do try to get in front of a solicitor or citizens advice ASAP this week so you can get medical support without fear of losing him.

[Devaiur59 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks so much

[Hidden in reply to Devaiur59]

Sorry, no use to you at all. If you're at immediate risk of losing him for a 2 year period it just seems irresponsible to suggest trying all the usual counseling/anger management/tbi strategy tools right now. There will be someone that can help though. If I find anything useful I'll inbox you.

[Devaiur59 in reply to Hidden]

He had counselling, but because he can’t retain information, they said he can’t learn from it so no use . That would be great, thanks so much

[Hidden in reply to Devaiur59]

I am in absolutely no way qualified to refute them but I would think that whilst this could make CBT difficult, it may not rule out the benefits of simply offloading to a stranger in traditional counseling sessions. Offload=reduce stress levels=reduce volatility=reduced violence? Also could develop a sense of being nurtured, affecting emotional centres in brain which are significantly stronger than thinking brain. Could reduce frustration levels=again impact volatility. Could help him to identify his own triggers - written down for you all to try avoid. All sorts potential benefits I would think. Has he had counseling with rehabilitation team? With neuro psych? Self referred through gp?(state level 3). Privately?

[Devaiur59 in reply to Hidden]

Yes, with rehabilitation team, and neurological psycologist. We had to put bit of pressure on gp but he agreed to give my dad a go but he was only there for couple of weeks as they said my dad was too aggressive and agitated to be there and I remember the neuro psych saying he is not going to benefit because he can’t remember 2 mins ago. I agree with what you said tho, it really makes sense and he could benefit from it, I am going to speak to my mum about that, sounds promising so thankyou

[Alice5]

Hi

I am so sorry to read your post. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you all.

I wish I could offer you some advice but the needs of your dad and your family are so complex. You sound such a loving and supportive family.

I'm thinking of you and hope you get all the help you need. Maybe start with Headway and progress from there

Alice x

[Devaiur59]

Thanks so much x