Help for child in meltdown

[pozza40]

hi all

My teenage daughter has completely crumbled over the past week. She has had to deal with so much over the last two years and it’s all become too overwhelming for her. She’s constantly crying,not eating and is completely withdrawn.

My husband,her dad was taken into hospital on her 13 birthday,he had a giant aneurysm and the surgery resulted in a massive stroke.in hospital for a year,during the lockdown so me and the children couldn’t see him.by the time he came home,our2 eldest children had left home,leaving just our daughter at home.

She has to witness her dad having four visits from carers everyday,he is pretty much bed bound.he has left side hemiplegia,his personality is different and half of his skull is missing.

I don’t know what to do for her, no appointments with the gp until mid April.

My family is falling to pieces

Any advice gratefully received

[123Bereft]

Do you have a local CAMHS? Is she still at school? Maybe they could point you in the right direction. Sending all my love and best wishes to you.

[iforget]

So sorry your family is dealing with this. Its out of my realm of knowledge but a call to Headway should at the very least get you some info and signposting to appropriate sources of help and support. .

[Leaf100]

Hi Pozza, so hard for all of you and especially those of tender years. Don't have advice other than what others have said really, so she has support outside the home too, lots of cuddles, and maybe see if she is interested in art or journalling.

Sending love and best wishes.

Leaf

[Pairofboots]

Hi pozza, even if an appointment with the GP is some time away, book it. Headway can give practical advice and support with you daughter. Arrange a meeting with the school to discuss what is happening. And it wouldn't do any harm to approach the CAMHS service, or at least calling the duty desk. The GP surgery and the council will have information regarding contact information. 🍀

[sashaming1]

A local self-help group for those going through similar things?

[New_beginning]

School nurse, your be waiting 18months for CAMHS, like our area.

In meantime look at practical stuff like walks, sounds weird but somewhere to walk with scenery trip to coast, a hill. My son now 16, he was 14 at time he's so silent, skinny,. We don't have school nurse involved now and when involved was brief. No other service has inputted support. I know I won't fully recover, but the guilt I have what our children have experienced the guilt holds heavy.

You have two children, Believe they will carry/show differently but support for both will be needed, so make sure whatever support for both x

[pozza40 in reply to New_beginning]

I know exactly what you mean about not fully recovering,now after 2 years of this turmoil,I feel like I don’t have the energy or time to worry about me anymore,I just want my kids to be ok.our two oldest,24 and 19 one has moved out,the other at uni are boys and are not seeing the daily struggle that our daughter is seeing.I asked the school for help with my daughter when it all happened,saying to them,please keep an eye on her and get her the counsellors list.she was spoke to once,and honestly because she wasn’t self harming or talking about killing herself,they didn’t prioritise her.

Now she is honestly a mess,can’t stopcrying,won’t hardly eat.it is breaking my heart.ive tried explaining to hubby what’s going on,but he forgets and I don’t think he even realises how distressing this has been for her.

I’m trying my best to explain to her that the way she is feeling is completely understandable and that she has had to deal with stuff that some people never have to deal with in their entire life but she is so young,she doesn’t understand she is grieving for her dad the way he used to be.

I just feel helpless

Sorry for rambling,just getting it off my chest.

Take care,I’m glad you are out there and get how I feel

[New_beginning in reply to pozza40]

Have you contacted GP, I have been wanting to do many times with son, then had talk with him to talk.,, GP can help with speeding up referrals mind.

It's horrible, our youngest 4, but she's been massively impacted, as she seen everything being my hip for 2years.

Love to you all, I'm hoping another few years to this all settles for us too, as I'm still trying new areas. You two are entitled to carers break, for getaways.

Honeypot children charity are good, but I'm not sure she's over age criteria, or young carers group if she's open, our son home boy so not for him x

[Painting-girl]

So hard for you both Pozza, sounds like you are saying all the right things though x