Painful watching my dad

[Mrdeek]

My dad took a cardiac arrest 6 months ago. Long story short. He wasn’t given any chance by the consultants so it was decided to turn off the ventilator. He was expected to pass within 20mins of doing so. Dad being dad, stubborn as a mule, was still alive 2 days later and showing signs of life I.e moving hands and eyes. So we where asked if we would like to give him a fighting chance. Yes obviously was our reply. He started talking, had Physio and was walking. Now he is in a neuro rehab unit. The thing is he isn’t showing the promise and progress he was making in the hospital in the rehab unit. He is an emotional wreck and very confused all the time now and very hyper sensitive to touch etc. Has anyone else experienced this? It’s so painful to watch and do wonder if we made the correct decision keeping him alive sometimes. I don’t like thinking that let alone saying it but it’s heartbreaking.

[Kirk5w7]

The thing is he will have suffered a degree of hypoxic brain injury. It is going to take time to identify to what extent the long term effects will be.

It is very confusing making sense if your body, surroundings, lack of some of the abilities you once had etc believe me.

You have to carry on as normal, talking to him, including him in conversations even if he doesnt really contribute. I used to play 2 dvds constantly when i was in hospital, my two favourites, i drove the nurses to distraction because i could never renember how to use the dvd player my husband had brought me.

Play him his favourite music, read to him even if its only the daily paper.

I was given antidepressants to even out my moods too, they helped so much.

And 6 months is still early days, the degree of deficit your father may experience will take a while yet to determine.

The hypersensitivity to touch is because there has been neurological damage, there is medication to help but its very much a try and see if it helps so needs patience and perseverance something thats often lacking in us BI patients. We want it fixed and our old lives back NOW!

[sca2013]

At this point you really can't judge yourselves as you're past that choice. I survived cardiac arrest Dec 2013. I'm assuming he had a lack of oxygen during his experience. Has anything been said about him sustaining anoxic or hypoxic brain injury or otherwise? Yes, the things you're describing (emotional wreck and very confused all the time now and very hyper sensitive to touch) that he is going through can all be a result of brain injuries, resulting from cardiac arrest. For me things have improved over time. I'm not saying I am back to how I once was. I have developed compensating strategies for many things, other abilities just aren't there anymore. I've had to think of things this way - I am creating a new life/a new me as the old me is gone. The first couple of years seemed impossible, but I am figuring things out as time passes in new ways. Everyone is different as to the way and time they make progress. Don't expect him to be the way he used to be, then you won't be disappointed. I know this can all be quite overwhelming. I find taking it sometimes just an hour at a time helps me cope with it all better. If he did sustain a brain injury, which I would be surprised if he didn't, here is a link (headway.org.uk/search/?Sear... that has some great free information about it, how to cope, actions you can take, etc. It has been very helpful for me. Let me know what country you're in and I can probably give you some other resources of value. Also feel free to ask me any other questions. I am so sorry this has happened. Things will improve as you get things figured out.

[Mrdeek in reply to sca2013]

Forgot to say I’m in Scotland x

[Mrdeek in reply to Mrdeek]

I really admire you for coming through this. My dad is my hero for even getting this far.

Do you remember going into rehab? Where you confused and agitated at the beginning of it?

[Mrdeek]

Thanks for you replies guys. Yes his brain was starved of oxygen for at least 6 minutes. Took a while to get him moved to get him flat as he was quite heavy not so heavy now. I wasn’t there at the start, thankfully his neighbour was as my mum and sister couldn’t move him at all. Paramedics worked on him for 30 mins before getting a pulse also. I have accepted that he won’t be the same independent person he was and do accept that it is still very early stages in his recovery. His speech was coming together until he took an infection. I do kid on I can understand what he’s saying, is this good practice? Or should I tell him I haven’t got a clue what he’s saying? I haven’t really been told if he’s hypoxic or what. Only in the hospital he was declared brain stem dead. It is a lot to take in and very overwhelming if I’m honest.

[sca2013 in reply to Mrdeek]

The headway website should provide many answers to your questions. You can use the search feature. Sometimes you'll just have to use your gut instinct as to how to respond to him. Yes, it can be very overwhelming. It was for me and my family. Take it one event/day at a time. Here is the link to the Scotland related brain injury groups: headway.org.uk/supporting-y...

[Mrdeek]

Hi guys, is it common for someone with a brain injury to take infection after infection?