Anyone else only able to focus on 1 thing at a time. I think it is one of more common things after BI. I go to a BI group and the man who set it up has always said he can only focus on 1 thing at a time. Like when he’s talking to someone they are only thing he is thinking about. Not been that noticeable apart from once filling out a simple questionnaire he had to move to room alone as he couldn’t concentrate. Today I mentioned to him how I’ve been messaging him on what’s app and he’s read them but not replied. He said it’s cos he only focuses on 1 thing at a time so if he’s doing something when he reads message he forgets and his mind doesn’t work to reply as soon as he reads it. Frustrating but suppose it does make me talk when I see him rather than just sending messages. I’m not the best person when it comes to talking to people I can go quiet and a lot of time would rather send messages tho I am getting better at talking.
One focus at a time: Anyone else only able to focus... - Headway
One focus at a time
I think it is common, I quite often forget to reply to messages etc, unless I do it there and then. Which clearly isn’t always possible.
For myself and I assume others it’s linked to noise, so things like background TV or busy pubs etc.
Yep, 3 yrs on and I sometimes still struggle eg have to turn radio off to talk etc. Even had to tell doctor this week that I needed to sit up from the examination couch (query liver /rib pain) so I could listen to his explanation.
Plenty of my non b I friends forget to reply to messages all the time .
Yea I think what makes BI harder is that most people appear normal and you can’t see that anything is wrong. I am sort of person that does expect replies so as this man said today don’t message him unless it’s important. I’d sort of worked that out anyway. He did point out it’s cos he had BI which he knew I knew as that’s the reason he set up the BI group. So now it’s just matter of talking to him when I see him suppose it’s one way to get more comfortable talking face to face.
I try my best to multi-task. But I often forget what I was doing and that makes all the jobs more difficult or frustrating when you realize you need to go back to them because you haven't finished them. It drives my mum mad when she texts me and I don't reply straight away and then forget to do it. But its because at the time it isn't convenient to respond and then I forget I have even received a text. Its amazing to think of all the ways BI affects a person.
Another thing is people who don’t have BI thinking you get selective memory with BI like remember stuff that you are most bothered about and forget other stuff. Like if I know I’m going out with the BI group I joined I always remember the date and time. If my mum wants me to do some house work or something I don’t like I’ll forget. Same with man who set the group up forgets just about everything that he doesn’t put in his phone but he’s said he will tell me 3 things to do at allotment in 2 week and see if I can remember to do them. He says he will remember and woman who works with him says he will so if he does it shows people can remember it just takes more effort.
Multitasking is nothing more than rapid switching from doing one thing to another. Thus the reason we don't do so well trying it, as it is highly exhausting because of all the rapid switching. Others without brain injuries may think they are multitasking but they are only rapidly switching between all of the things they think they are multitasking. In other words all people really are only doing one thing at a time, even if it is for only a split second at a time, so it seems to them like they are multitasking. Still that does make our situations trying to do more than one thing at a time highly frustrating for us. So whenever I can think to keep it simple, one thing at a time, I am much less stressed and much more effective.
Peoples names are something I normally forget. Can remember if I remember to make sure I do, but if I hear someone’s name and am doing something or don’t take much notice I’ll forget. Few week ago a new girl joined the BI group I go to man who runs group came in told everyone the girls name two mins later I’d forgot.
The man who runs group has helped me remember one name especially someone who attends brought there son who’s 18 and introduced him and man who runs group made such a fuss to remember the name kept repeating the name and said name every time he spoke to him. Actually only heard him say it a few times but that’s one of names I’ve remembered best. Often I hear a name and don’t think any more of it til I realise I don’t remember it.
Yes its annoying when people without BI just come to their own conclusions. I don't feel I have any control over what I remember and what I don't. Short of writing everything down (a strategy I do use for really important stuff) there is little we can do. Noone sets out to forget thing, it just happens.
Sometimes I need to pull myself back and remind myself that Im not an octopus, I only have one set of hands and to stop doing 1,000 things at once but there are times when I get home from work my brain runs off and trys to think of 10,000 which causes my anxiety to drastically rise I have to scream stop at myself or I will try and reply to 10 emails, take 5 phones calls and have several conversations in between
Hello keeley24,
Thanks so much for bringing up this post and to everyone who has taken the time to reply to this post. I've always had this problem, hating noise around me, not being able to concentrate when there are other things going on around me and struggling to remember stuff.
I just had this lady say to me this morning "Don't you remember my dog from last year?" - the quiet truth be of course that I didn't even remember her, our conversation let alone the dog. So very embarrassing, not that I told her that of course .... Just kept talking to her about her and hoped she wouldn't notice or think ...
Thanks so much to you all in this group, you've all given me the strength to just keep carrying on ... Good luck to you all - you're all amazing xx
I don’t recognise people much who I don’t know well. One man who goes to BI group said he met a woman who he knows from there in a shop and couldn’t remember her name. Yet he knows it at BI group. It really is you need to make more effort to remember stuff after BI. I know the things I will remember and stuff I will forget so do put notes in my phone when needed. Never been one to write stuff and always got my phone so mite as well use it.
In a way I can see BI how people who haven’t got it must see it. As I’m lucky to not really have many things it still effects. So yesterday talking to man who runs BI group there was a lot I could have said but didn’t as I know every BI is different and at least part of it is making more effort to do things or remember things. That is personal choice like I said why doesn’t he just reply to messages when he reads them which would be easiest solution, but he said his brain doesn’t work that way.
It can actually be annoying as I live 45 min train ride from where the group is and on Wednesdays they go to an allotment depending on weather. When the man is on his own doing allotment I have to rely on him answering my message to say if they are still going to allotment before I get train. Once the weather was dull so I messaged him early to check if they were still going to allotment and didn’t get answer til I was on train going there. Luckily they was still going, but would have been annoyed if they wasn’t. Now I try to have joke with him as I have videoeda him dancing so it’s now something we joke about so I’ve told him if I ever get there before being told it’s cancelled I’ll video him dancing. Honestly don’t know if he’d go along with it but for me it would be to avoid showing that I’d be annoyed with him.
I have noticed with this man he doesn’t take notice of things round him when he is doing something else. The woman who runs group has done a whats app chat group that me and a few others chat in. The man is not part of this group and doesn’t want to be. People have now started joking with me about the man who set group up as he has jokingly flirted with me so they joke about him being the prize for anything we compete in or if I do something good like running they send a pic of this man as if he’s encouraging me which he would anyway.
Other week we was at allotment where there is a summer house. We had just put a carpet down (it’s only few meter by few meter) so he was going to run some wood over it to straighten it. He took a jacket off and I joked I should get photo as he has said I should before in a joking way. I got my phone out for photo (just in fun and woman was laughing pretending to try and stop me and told the man to stop encouraging me. I mentioned the whats app stuff we talked about but the man didn’t respond it was like he wasn’t aware of us or what we was doing or saying. If that had been me I would have been like what? What? What you on about.
Relationships after TBI
