Could relationships work between 2 people with BI?

[keeley24]

If you want to skip to what this is about start on paragraph 2.

robably thinking this through a bit much. I've recently started going to a group for people with BI. It's the first time I've felt so comfortable with talking to people. There is a man and woman who run the group both are lovely. The man is who set the group up as he had BI 5 years ago and struggled with most day to day stuff at start and has wrote his experiences on Facebook to help others. The woman has a brother who had BI 15 years ago so she wants to help others. Both make sure everyone is included in social times and outings. They get photos of people joining in with activities to put on Facebook. The man says it helps him remember as he struggles with short term memory.

I have been getting Photos myself and the man does sometimes dance to music. I have tried to video this on my phone but second he sees my phone facing him he stops. We have joked about it and he insists it will be funnier if I get video without him knowing. That is exactly what I'm planning to do and told him everyone will see it when I get one which he doesn't mind. So today I asked a few other people to try to get a video of him dancing which one of them told him. He later changed shirts as we were doing photo shoot and after he joked to me I should have got video of him changing shirts and also mentioned he'd done semi naked calendar before. Would this be classed as flirting?

If I'm honest I do really like him I'm like enjoying going to the group and making effort to be as friendly with everyone as I'm not going to show myself up and not feel comfortable going. i would love to know him more and maybe get in relationship in future. Long way off I know but main thing is keep going to the group and see what happens.

I'm probably thinking too far ahead, but could a relationship work? Obviously both need to feel same and be single I think he is single but not 100%. He is busy a lot but no harm seeing how things go at the group. I know he has gone through depression since BI and does seem to hide how he's feeling. He does always appear happy and ok maybe he ihas been when I've seen him. but I know he has seemed fine before when he's not.

[steve55]

keeley24 you see each other at group, keep it like that for a while, until you get to know him and his personality and more importantly, for your protection, his temprament.

[keeley24]

Yea that's what I'm thinking mainly so I don't rush stuff and show myself up. Up to now can't fault anything about him but not known him long and woman who works with him says he likes stuff done his way. So yea need to see him in different situations see how he deals with stuff.

[keeley24 in reply to keeley24]

Planning on talking to him about setting up a charity bike ride. He's mentioned maybe having day cycling as a group soon. So I'm thinking do that and get people to sponsor us to raise money for the charity. I just want to make sure I can still ride bike ok, think I will be ok but my balance isn't great so want to be sure. Will mention this as well and providing I'm given enough time I will keep at it til I can. Actually think I will be ok.

[Fificakes2 in reply to keeley24]

That's a really good idea and a project that you can both enjoy together

[Fificakes2]

Wow that is a really good problem and something I think about for myself too.

He was definitely flirting, but getting to the next stage and going on dates will be harder.

I would keep on going to groups and find out what he likes and then you can try from there.

[keeley24]

Yea I'm definitely going to keep going to the group every week. There will be times he's not there but still going for social part of it. Hoping to make friends there too. Also he is training to become a personal trainer and planning on opening a gym at the centre where people can join free and he will be their personal trainer. So that will give us time together tho not sure when. Should be in next month or so, but he's finding it hard as there's a lot to learn and he struggles with short term memory. Think he will get there though.

[eddstjohnoneday]

love the thought has being in my head now and again the people who run these groups

are special like all of us and staff helpline . and I personally think god who would ever want to have a relation with me .see I have so much love to give .just someone to cuddle everyday . and but I get the love in the site and and the kind words . again words . we all say the most nicest things to each other . and we mean it from are hearts

that's all I need yes if I met someone like me .I think a realationship between to members is very possible . but just a friendship full time . would be good enough for me

just a hug and kind words is all id want its a good post . and all id say love

is become good friends and see if the person is really understanding kind says the right words always there for you . coz that's what we need more than anything .

and we get it from members and staff . I personally would be scared if someone approached me and said ive allways loved you your single and I would rather be close friends . my bi I no if different . but I love others before me I think of others than me .

and I love that about myself . but in your post love I should have got video of him changing shirts and also mentioned he'd done semi naked calendar before.that

well id be carefull like other members have said I mean would any other member do a semi naked photo no I wouldn't I mean you just tread carefully I hope the best happens for you we all deserve it as were special . but semi naked callender If a woman said to me that I would be truly uneasy with it but that's me I hope im right in saying that I don't mean to upset you but .I wouldn't say that to a lady oh ive done semi naked callender

is it me my instincts tell me id be very god I don't no why you have said that .and id rather just be m8s . I hope im wrong and you find love and happiness . love eddie

find out everthing about him . just be carefull x

[keeley24 in reply to eddstjohnoneday]

I understand where you are coming from. Honestly after not knowing someone long comments like that would normally make me bit uneasy. All friendly yea but only other week I met someone there for first time and it was very obvious they were attracted to me. Being over friendly holding my hand and I did feel slightly wary cos they were like old enough to be my dad so I had no interest romanticly at all and didn't want to upset them. I just mentioned I was with my boyfriend later when he asked what I was doing to like make it clear I wasn't interested in relationship. This bloke who runs the group who I do like is 6 year older than me so would be much more comfortable with that. There is more I need to find out about him before deciding if things could work mainly if he is genuinely interested in me.

I did start going to the group to meet more friends and that is the main aim really. If anything more happens it's a bonus.

[RogerCMerriman]

Clearly two folks with a BI could have a relationship.

Social groups are where folks get to meet others, like others I'd say get to know him,

Did sound like flirting but possibly wasn't intended in that way, I'm married and my emotional intelligence has dropped, I don't get jokes or flirts from my wife, either dumbfounded or they just pass me by, but equally I can have fairly direct at times humour which would pass as flirting though I'd not of intended it.

If he's good company enjoy it and see what happens?

[bexx87]

in my personal and very recent experience ... no because for several reasons, the main one is because he wanted a full time relationship and Im not ready for that having been in on for 9 years

but its possible Lloyduk (Lloyd) and brokendoll (Emma) on here are in a relationship

[keeley24]

Well an update. Been there Tuesday and yesterday. He wasn't there Tuesday but was yesterday and it seems he does have a girlfriend. He casually mentioned her in conversation. So at least I know nothing is going to happen between us just focus on being friends and see what happens.

On plus side he did mention a few things coming up for the group that I'll probably join in with. Trip to a wild life park which is actually near where I used to live. Some walk to mark 2 year anniversary of one of girls BI then stop for meal and drinks. Christmas meal and another trip to a bowling place we went last month. So looking forward to that and can still be friends with him and not get false hope of anything else happening.