Tried return to work after 3 years. Maybe too much info I don't really know why I'm posting, my head is all over the place this morning.

[Pab93]

I'm male, 24.

05/2014 head on car crash (not my fault) 2 months after my 21st bday.

Multiple injures including traumatic brain injury frontal right lobe.

At the time of accident I was fully qualified plumber working full time while 90% qualified on heating and gas.

I tried to return to work this week, first 3 days were training. I quit this morning on day 3 of training.

It was delivering parcels 6 days a week. Not to big or heavy.

Self employed, earning £110 a day so £660 a week.

Starting at 7am,

Finishing whenever you have completed all of the parcel drops (between 100 and 120), It was around 4.30pm when I was out on ride along during training.

I think it would of took me a lot longer on my own for the first few weeks or months which is probably normal.

Day 1. Wednesday.

Was not too bad, left house at 6.30am to get there for 7am.

It was none stop until finished all parcels. Constant jumping out van and delivering parcels to companies in and around town. I got on with the lad he was not much older than me. Got home at 6pm

Day 2. Thursday.

Back for 7am.

While helping the man load his van for the day. For some reason it came over me I didn't want to do it. So when the fella went back into the yard I walked away.

Half way back to my car i realised I'd left my back in the mans van so had to go back lol.

Ended up staying.

Same none stop all day finished earlier got home for 5pm.

Day 3. Today. Friday.

Last day of training.

The plan was, Day off Saturday then in on Sunday for my first day and to get a van off them.

Woke up early and began to think about it, got really bad anxiety and got really emotional. Woke my girl up and discussed with her, everyone thought it was abit much before I started. Ended up phoning up and leaving it anyway.

Just feel like such a failure now and don't know what I'm going to do with my life 😭 I had it all planned out before starting the job.

Is this normal 3 years on from brain injury or am i not right to blame it on the injury?

[Kirk5w7]

Hi. Pab, and welcome.

Sorry to tell you this is normal.

You will find many similar posts about trying to return to work. One size doesn't fit all I'm afraid. In my case I was 59 when I was ill with viral encephalitis, no physical trauma to my brain, only swelling. When I say only swelling, it can do dreadful damage, the brain only has a finite space to fill, the skull, and when it swells the only place where there is room to escape is the base of skull, where the spinal column is, so great pressure, and damage can be done there.

I have damage to my optic nerves too from that swelling. Anyway what I am saying is I was not able to return to work and never will be able to even if I was of an age to work now, I'm 5 years into recovery.

Brain injury has a profound effect and the brain does not regenerate, new neural pathways can be made that take over the old ones but no one can predict how or whether that will happen.

But what is common is that overwhelming fatigue we all seem to get, that and balance problems. To all intents and purposes we look great, we all get sick of those comments, and when we look in the mirror we think" yes that hats me, and I look fine so why can't I do everything I used to" but we can't our brains are still trying to make sense of what it's been through.

So I'm afraid you'll just have to have patience, at some point you may be able to return to work but you may have to settle for one to look for one that is not physically tiring

Best wishes

Janet x

[keeley24]

Is normal I go to a BI group and the man who set the group up had BI from an unprovoked attack 5year back. He tried going back to work as an electrician I think 2 years after his BI and had to quit after a few month as it was too much for him. He says he still notices he's different now with concentration and memory. To see him you wouldn't think he'd had BI as he can have conversation even while driving. Short term memory I think everyone with or without BI can struggle with so not that noticeable.

All I will say is try to find a BI group near you and attend that as it does help meeting other people who's been through same.

[Pab93]

Thanks a lot for answers iv calmed down a bit now. I think I'm going to try part time next, I'm going to have a rest for a week now I think tho!

I get stressed a lot trying to figure out what I will do with my life, for some reason I need it all planned out to perfection and now I feel I'm back to square 1 😓

[keeley24 in reply to Pab93]

Seems stress is common too only last week the man who runs group I go to was getting stressed. We go to an allotment he has each week. I have no idea where it is so I go to centre and him or woman who runs group takes me and anyone else who wants a lift. Was in van with man and another lad who was going. The lad decided he was hungry so wanted the man to stop at sandwich shop. So we did and was waiting a while and man was getting impatient waiting and stressed that people would be waiting for us at allotment. I just laughed at him and told him it was him who agreed to wait. He didn't seem to mind me laughing it off at least.

[Pab93 in reply to keeley24]

I get that tbh I seem to put everyone else first, I get myself in a right state stressing and worrying that I have people waiting or put others out over the most minor things. It doesn't half take it out of you haha.

Being indecisive is a bad one aswel but as soon as I have decided and or made a plan it feels as tho a giant weight has been lifted off me!

[Fificakes2 in reply to Pab93]

Yes. I'm like that. It's very hard deciding things and I always want please other people cos they haven't had a bi. So they must be more alright.

[Judithba in reply to Pab93]

Hello Pab. I had a sah in 2015 and almost died. I have now returned to work but it was a very gradual process and the clinical psychologist from the hospital set the plan for my employer. I used to be full time but I started back on three mornings 9-1 and over a period of 8weeks gradually increased until I now work 4dsys a week. I would strongly recommend a phased return because we can't expect too much too soon from our brains. Have patience with yourself, you're doing well even trying to go back to work. Well done and he best of luck in whatever you decide to do. x

[keeley24]

lol indecisive is another that the man had problems with he told us all in early recovery he went shopping for some trousers. The shop had about 8 different colours in and he couldn't decide which colour to get so he got one of each colour. Good thing is he sees funny side now so doesn't mind people laughing about it.

[Ghost-on-point]

You completed the tasks. Lived the routine. Certainly Not a Failure!

Life is Learning, extra for us. If it pressured you negatively or didn't feel the Vibe it's only natural conclusion.

You've done well, not a robot, human.

I Lived & worked somewhere that was beautiful but lacked the Life ingredients I needed. So I moved hundreds of miles. I gave it a go.

Have a pint of Murphy's

Atleast you have support of a Bonnie Lass.

[MXman]

Morning Pab93 What a fantastic post and I can completely identify with what you are talking about. Im 28 months in from my accident which effected my frontal lobe with 3 bleeds and at the moment I'm finding everything difficult but from the outside I look completely normal. Work being the main problem with fatigue and communication with clients. Im in the building trade too have my own construction company but we keep trying onwards and upwards.

The fatigue and thinking issues are major for me I have to nap at 1 and 5 or I'm completely useless, the trick is to accept that you are not the same person and put in place actions that help you over come these issues.

Truly hope you have a good Saturday. Nick

[Pab93]

Thanks a lot everyone for replying.

I feel a lot better now given every ones comments!

[Ecojackie]

Sounds like you did very well - as much as you could. I was in a rollover car accident last August and have been recovering. I had a stroke and brain bleeding and swelling as a result. I used to be a writer. I tried it a few months ago, but I wasn't up for it. My writing wasn't very good and I wasn't up for the research I used to do. The stroke affected my right side so typing is out for now. I have software that converts speech to text, but that is a whole different way of thinking. Don't know what the future will bring, but we have to be patient and define a new normal for ourselves. Take care.

[moo196]

Just to add, have you contacted remploy ...? Gov backed agency to help disabled, or newly disabled people get to work or continue employment.

They were massively helpful when I needed them about 3yrs ago.

A phased return over a year was my route. Needed plenty of rest and support.

Now I prefer to work part time and temporary. (With a different employer)

Good luck!

[Pab93 in reply to moo196]

No iv not heard of them before I will look into that thanks a lot !

[moo196 in reply to Pab93]

Phone them tomorrow!☺

[Pab93]

Thanks a lot for replying,

Did you work for yourself before your accident ?

Can I ask what it is you do? sorry to be nosey don't feel at all like u have to answer.

I have looked at maybe renting houses using letting agents to reduce stress. Or maybe buying, doing up and reselling.

There is not much I feel I could do anymore to be honest which doesn't half worry me.

[Pab93]

Thanks a lot I wish u all the best for you and your business!