Down in the dumps 🤕

Sorry to be so negative but sometimes I feel like everyday is such a struggle since my TBI over three years ago! The emotional impact (despite having therapy still), is so all consuming and hard! The physical impact so draining and life changing-some days I would give anything just to feel like the old me -painfree, able to sleep and drink a nice glass of wine (or two!) with no migraine or balance issues being made worse, able to think clearly and remember things and not having to go to any hospitals or assessments! ! I hate this 'invisible' disability!

Sorry-down day 🤕

24 Replies

  • Sorry you are feeling this way Annie. Me too. And we know we shouldn't etc etc. I just said the same to my GP, the thought of feeling like this every day or the rest of my life is so terrible.

    But, I know I won't give up looking for that solution,I will continue to hope when I wake in the morning that today may be the day that when I get out of bed everything doesn't go pear shaped.

    Today I managed a walk to the bank and home, 8,165 steps, courtesy of fit bit, and then an hours nap after lunch. Every step was a challenge but I did it.

    Let's hope tomorrow sees you feeling less down x

    Take care

    Janet x

  • Thank you SO much for your kind and very reassuring words. x

  • well done i was crawling on my hands and knees and now i get about i need a stick but things got better you sound like a strong person my best wishes

  • Hi Annie.

    Keep plodding on if it wasn't for the bad days the good days wouldn't be so good...........Oh if it was so easy.

    Many on here...Me included...Will tell you that it will get better....And it will.

    You will learn to adapt to the new you and find new ways of doing things. As for the pain ....ah well I could tell you this to will improve ..But I may be lying as you may only get used to the pain rather than be free of it.

    Don't dispare of feeling low....It is allowed you know. Just remember things do change and tomorrow is another day of surviving a bi.

    Hope you feel better soon

    Pax x

  • Thanks Pax-your words are much appreciated x

  • Atleast your getting treatment. Love The invisible disability phrase & others who make sense jointly of our Lives on this forum. Mapping our way thru our mad world with " others" ( a LOST series Quote) ;)

    Hope I'm not writing encrypted junk.

    Our precious few don't judge, as for furries or feathered friends, They Love 24/7 :)

    Woof! X

  • Hi Annie2 Here's a big hug from me and for all the others on here who help us get through days like these. Take care.Kx

  • Thanks for just being there it keeps me sane through all this madness! x

  • Sorry you're so down Annie. Seems to be par for the BI course. Hope it's a better day tomorrow m'dear. Best wishes & hugs, Cat xxx

  • Thanks Cat -one of those days/weeks!

    My legal case from the accident is in full swing and I did not realise how tiring/depressing/difficult this sort of thing can be or the very negative impact it can have on your emotions and any physical symptoms. It would be easier to just stop it all, but then the last three years would have all been for nothing and no one would be called to account for what happened - ironically, it all could have been avoided!

    X x

  • The issues we all face after brain injury are challenging enough without added problems, especially ones involving officials and decisions about our future.

    Annie, are you receiving emotional support of any kind ? I often wish we could do more to help than talk. xx

  • Hi Cat -yes I am receiving specialist support from someone who specialises in trauma, but even with this it is still a pretty lonely and difficult process-Just wish it was all over so that I could move on a bit more. Thanks Cat x x

  • Days like that are horrible, we all seem to get them, I hope you feel different tomorrow, albeit even in just the way you are able to handle your situation. I'm on a bad day today as I overdid it yesterday so I'm paying the price today, my head is banging and my neck is aching and I too would love my old self much- but that won't happen so we soldier on as best as we can. Here's to better days and being able to cope on the bad ones! xx

  • Thanks Peaches-Sounds very familiar! x x

  • Sorry to hear this. I would take issue with one thing though - the idea that 'we shouldn't' feel like this! Good grief. Experience shows that it is virtually inevitable after a TBI and it is not sensible to add to one's problems by blaming oneself for feeling this way! After all we often lose so much...

    You ought to have been warned to expect these feelings - I wasn't, but my injury was in 1989 and I had thought that things had improved a lot since then. Do speak yo your GP re anti-depressants (I call them Happy Pills) as they give you an emotional cushion. With this you can get on with life and the tasks you face . Bear in mind that a GP simply starts you on a medium/low dose of their 'fave' and it is up to the patient to monitor and adjust to find the optimum dose (keeping the GP informed of course!). A pill cutter is vital to do this plus you have to allow about a week to fully experience the effects. My family really wish that I had gone on these sooner - they had 12 years of me depressed poor things.

    Don't be hard on yourself - your brain is doing a wonderful job managing with an injured organ - it will have to override your conscious brain regularly now though and it is best to cooperate not fight it!

    All the best.

  • Thanks Caroline. I am on anti depressants, but they do very little really. I suppose one just has to ride through these kinds of days and practice all that we are told!!

  • Oh dear Annie! If your anti--deps aren't doing anything then you are def on the wrong product/wrong dose! (Also why take them?). To experience the proper effect you have to experiment - and boy is it worth it to be emotionally stable again and not have to live waiting for the next overwhelming bout of despair... You can tell the correct dose (though this may change over time and one always aims to reduce to zero one day!) because too much and one feels cold and uncaring and you know that is not who you are. Too low and one is subject to the tides of despair. Just right and one feels normal again - well actually more stable than I used to be! And no I am not on commission just angry that we get so little information from our GPs on this.

  • Many thanks Caroline-lots to think about.

  • everyone gets like that bi or not Ive suffered with my bifor 16 years and the first 7 years I suffered with serve depression and anxiety, the depression has cleared thanks to medication but every now and then comes back from anything between a few hours to a few days and I am on medication for anxiety which I suffered at 13 it then when away and has come back for the past 3 years so its normal and fine to rant

  • My mum gets depressed as well but she won't always admit it. I tried to help her using diet. Try Tina M Sullivan, Nourish Your Noggin which still has lovely recipes. You can even have dark chocolate. The smoothies are also nice. I wonder if they can be a substitute for your glasses of wine and give you a boost? You can get the book on amazon.

    You can also spice up your mood with a golden latte. Warm up a cup of coconut or almond milk with a bit of cinnamon and black pepper. When it is at boiling point, add some tumeric and turn down the heat to let it simmer for a few minutes. You can add some honey to sweeten that if you want. This is anti-inflammatory.

  • Thank you -sounds very interesting and I will try that.

  • Thank you -that is reassuring!

  • So sorry you're feeling that way. Thank you for posting , as it makes other people who feel like that not feel quite so isolated. I hope you have a turn around in your recovery very soon :)

  • hi annie i hope you are feeling better i know its a hard journey you are on but when things seem bad that"s when you have to fight the hardest do you have family around you or someone close as it is better to talk to people on how your feeling no one has a magic wand you are a strong energy or you would not have made it this far i am new to this site myself also struggling with what life has dealt me and if we keep in touch we could help each other ? i leave it up to you either way i send you a blessing through the trees and next time your out you could sit under it and just give it a hug it helps

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