Romancing another person with a BI


After the relief of finding out I passed a blood clot and nothing more serious, the story is 2 months ago a new guy came to headway social group and I told a friend that I think hes cute and she told a staff headway staff member and the staff member told him that I think he cute, I don't intend to tell this friend any thing else after this incident (shes a year into her head injury) so Im annoyed but relieved as he like me back so we don't have to go though the stage of I like you do you like me awkwardness. His head injury was in 2005 I think and mind was in 2001, he is two years older than me and we went to the same secondary school so he knows some of my half cousins as we lived not that far away from each other. We went on a date for 8 hours (5 hours in a pub and 3 hours watching tv in his 3 bed house which is owns as he brought it out if the compensation money along with a 60 inch flat screen tv) and he stoked my leg at points.

My issue is I have explained my situation (getting out of a 9 year relationship and trying to get over a 5 month fling) and he is fine with it but what I paranoid of is im scared we will be too similar as we both have head injuries and when certain members of our social group do thinks like cry I feel really uncomfortable so I have a hard time dealing with my own issues let alone someone elses when we were at his house and even deciding what pub to do to we both didn't mind where to go or what we watched and it was like that with my ex of 9 years which made me frustrated as I had to make all the decisions so I really like it when that control is taken away from me, I also don't want our social groups to be weird if things don't work out but it is still early days and there is a first time for everything and Im meeting him for lunch today around 1. Thanks for any advices (Im also going to look into trying to let go of all the hatred and baggage towards my mum and ex boyfriend that I have been carrying around since my BI)

9 Replies

  • Just be friends for the moment and take it slowly. If it is meant to be, you will know in time but get to know each other properly first.

    Good luck.

  • There is no rush, enjoy it. In terms of it effecting your social group to be honest it probably has, I'd say enjoy the dates and see where it ends?

  • dating is hard! without B.I take it slow,as pepole have sugested and see waht happens.

  • Part of me feels bad for thinking how to approach situations because he has a BI when im (we) not even at that stage and I feel guilty and part of me wants to delete this post out of shame ....

  • If you're happy, you're happy, carry on. If you have any doubts, however far down the line, take a step back.

    A relationship for anyone with a brain injury is not that much different to a 'normal' relationship in that respect. We just have a bit of extra baggage.

    If it's right, it's right, if not, walk away. Just don't rush anything, take your time and hopefully the relationship will flourish...


  • He couldn't make it on Thursday but we are meeting up on Saturday and I should be allowed to air my concerns (pervious relationship I couldn't do that hence the paranoid)

  • Life is Life, that includes Happiness :) No shame in venturing, only shame in opportunities we've All ( me mostly) let pass us on by...

  • it could be as simple as im just nervous as I haven't been on a date in 10 years

  • Wouldn't that be great to have someone who can understand the struggles? Maybe don't rush anything, just enjoy having a companion. This may end up as a friendship and nothing more but in any case it is great to socialize, go on date and feel the butterflies :)

    Maybe this is the beginning of a beautiful love story? I just love this idea of romance! Enjoy it.

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