I'm new here, my husband is in critical care after a bleed to the brain on Tuesday 04/04/16. he is currently in an induced coma as his lungs aren't functioning as they should.
My husband is self employed and the main breadwinner, who pays our mortgage. I need some guidance on who I need to contact as I am in a limbo at the moment but understand that I need to put things into place so he has as little stress as possible once he starts to get better.
Many thanks x
Hi and welcome I am so sorry to hear about your husband it must be so scary. If I was you I would notify the bank and anyone else you have bills from. There are charities such as Step Change where they will talk you through things and will help you, they are brilliant. It may also help you to contact DWP you maybe eligible for something, it won't hurt to ask and you never know. I wish I had a magic wand and could make everything right for you. But don't forget there is support out there all you have to do is ask. I hope you get some things sorted out
Angie x
Become his advocate! best thing i ever did for my hubby. Contact Headway for more advice, And welcome to us! Hope your hubby makes a good reacovery x
Get in touch with the Citizens Advice Bureau. They have special 'money advisors'. It is likely that he won't be functioning properly for a while so you need to make plans for the next few months at least. It is vital that you do it quickly so people can be notified, then they will know whats going on and not pressurise you for money.
Hi there, so very sorry to read what has happened.
Please ring Headway for advice and they will point you in the right direction. It is really stressful for you.
Give headway a call on the number on the site here.
Thinking of you both xxx
So sorry to hear about your husband. I know what you're going through - my wife was in a coma after her bleed, and unable to breathe for herself for a while. It was so frightening.
There's already lots of great advice here, all I can add to it really is to get as much help and support around you as you can. Don't wait for him to be discharged from hospital. Contact everyone who needs paying and explain that your husband is in intensive care, and that he's likely to be unable to work for some time. Make sure they know that you're taking steps to address the issue and will pay as soon as you possibly can. DWP is probably the first place to start, although you may need some guidance in what you can claim, so get in touch with Headway/ CAB to make sure you claim everything you're entitled to.
Good luck and best wishes to you both.
Hi really sorry to hear this - you are both in my prayers.
You don't mention what kind of business your husband has so I apologise if some.of this is a bit off-track.
Prepare a standard email explaining the situation and asking for time to sort things out for any business creditors.
Check your mortgage, life insurance, endowment, and any credit agreements including credit cards for any disability related 'waiver of premium' clause or similar. You may find that you will not be required to pay the monthly policy fees/repayments.
Contact your local CAB and ask about making benefit applications on behalf of your husband/for you as a couple. It is best to get help with these as it is very complicated.
Don't forget to inform other agencies such as Tax Credits people of your change of circumstances as soon as possible.
Also check your husband's pension policy and find out what cover it offers in the event of ill health retirement. You can't know yet what yhe outcome will be and you may never reach that point, but it may help you feel more able to cope if you know there is that safety net there if need be.
Oh and last but least not all hospitals will think to tell you, but if you are visiting every day most will waive parking charges. So ask about that too as you can soon go through a small fortune...
I hope this helps.
Dear Bekx,
So very sorry for your situation. There is a surely a flood of things that you are having to learn and do and handle, and days at the hospital are exhausting. The resources that everyone have suggested sound great. With respect to getting bills paid properly there will inevitably be a lot of looking through papers, etc to be done. From experience, I know that just coming up with a list of the various accounts and how they get paid can be quite time consuming. Much of your time needs to go to dealing with your husband's condition and Malalatete points out benefits are worth applying for early. Do you have any trusted friends or relatives who can help you with the bill-paying review and set up?
Very tactically:
I would start by looking at the flows of money out of your checking account and out through your credit card(s) by examining 3-4 months of recent statements. That should give you a good idea of who needs to get paid every month, etc.. Your bank should be able to tell you if he had set up automatic bill payment system with them.
I would then look for every bill I could find and see if there are entities that need to be paid that for some reason did not show up in the first step -- maybe they are one-time bills or maybe there is some credit card or account or automatic bill-paying system that he has been using in addition to the basic checking and credit accounts.
If you do not have someone close who can help you Bekx, don't worry. Just start writing a single list of the payees (separated into Personal vs. Business payees), when they were last paid, if they seem to get paid the same amount each time, and from what account they got paid. You can even take a little bunch of papers with you to the hospital and add to your list during lulls in the day there. It will shape up quickly, you will see.
You are wise and strong to be thinking about this now.
All the best,
Taia
I had no money coming in for months and it is a nightmare. It seemed I fell through a benefits gap of not being entitled to anything because I had some savings I had to help me in my retirement in few years time. I felt very angry because had always worked and paid my national insurance but then couldn't get any financial help! I feared I would lose my beloved home etc. Not much help to you as to how to manage financially but all I can do is let you know you are far from alone with the situation you are facing.
bekx apply for housing benefit they will pay the interest on your mortgage, also you need to contact your mortgage lender explain whats happened.
not knowing any all your circumstances i cant really give any more help than than that.
welcome to the site and please keep us in formed
steve
Just a reminder for carers to look at having Legal power of Attorney over welfare/ finances. Also you can get authority to manage benefit if a partner or family member can be shown to be incapacitated or as lost capacity temporarily or permanent. It a good idea to sort these things before you it crisis if possible. Disability Rights have really good fact sheets.
Thank you all, for your advice. In week one I think I was in limbo, just in disbelief although my financial head was telling me to get things in order. I will be going to CAB on Tuesday to see what they can advise. I've had a look on a number of sites but nothing seems to fit with what we are going through at the moment. Or maybe I just haven't made sense of it.
I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster that won't stop. It's not quite two weeks yet but already I'm scared that I may have lost the person I married and if we will ever have a normality again.
Can anyone please give me any advice on what to do
How do you live with the not knowing?
