It was our wedding anniversary the other day and my husband was feeling very low and commenting that he is not improving anymore and making alarming statements like ' I hate who I have become'!..... So I went back through my old journals and blogs over the days, weeks and months after it all happened.
I started to go back over the goals we had 12 months ago and how we changed the goals as he exceeded everything that we strived for. Some of the goals seem simple but were so important like being able to sit at the table for dinner without getting up all the time.....I kept the old charts where during a 15 minute dinner he could get up upto 60 times....I reminded him that we went out for lunch for our anniversary and he sat through 3 courses and happily chatted without incident for almost an hour.....
The point I am trying to make is that please don't forget or let your family member forget all the achievements and just how far we have all come.
Many here have been 'recovering' for years and others are only weeks into the new life that has been thrown at us... But how ever small or great the improvements are just keep in mind that you are amazing!
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NJH11
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In my eighteen years of 'recovery' I have become somewhat philosophical about the whole 'traumatic' experience. Yes, my goals/ambitions have changed from before my accident, but aged 23, I woke from a coma with the life skills/knowledge of a new born baby. So here I am today as an 18 year old 42 year old with brain damage - whoops - perhaps that should be injury, and if nothing else I have learnt that WE ARE ALL BIGGER THAN our illness.
What you are saying here,NJH, is so significant and relevant to this site.........and encouragement is always welcome here !
Best wishes to you both. x
Hi, very encouraging to read what you have to say. Yes! I agree whole heartedly that we do forget how far we have come and so I have been reflecting on the past few years. (Oh dear! it's not easy reflecting while husband snores like a rhinoceros )
First two years after brain haemorrhage I slept from 8am until 8pm, the rest of the time i sat staring in to space, or having very basic conversations even though I cant remember them.
Couldn't..........walk without help, hold a conversation, see very well, hold my head up, eat, cook (cooking was my passion and hobby) look nice, wear nice clothes, put make up on (vain, but part of who i was) Also had fits of rage,anger, shouting, swearing and the worst of all not caring or having empathy, sympathy or understanding for family and friends. The list went on.... Fast forward to my 6th year....
With coping strategies in place and me not being so pig headed I am able in some capacity do all the above and more...
It's been good to reflect on the positive (spent too long on the hurt, upset and negative side of what happened) We've come along away on this journey and hopefully we've a long way to go.
Just to add... my hair has been falling out and I coped, even laughed about it especially when husband said I had a bald patch to match his
Good for you ! stay up beat and positve. Life is for living and we always think of it as being fortunate to survive. The thoughts of one year ago occured to me last night when the other half was trying to explain about asthma (hhmmmm!!) to my son(who had just been for a review) and i said a year ago we were teaching you how to say words and now look where you are! Ok! he didnt have the same word power as previously but he got the point over.Everyone on here is a survivor not a victim.
Loved this post...I think it is important for us to have 'reminders' of just how far we have come...it is so easy to feel like we are stuck, standing still or have not made enough progress when in actual fact we are each of (survivor and loved ones) miraculous in our own little way
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