Hello everyone, Jules here.
Didn't want to come on here tonight if the forum was already discussing something - it looks quiet at the moment.
I need to 'write down' what has happened this afternoon. Hoping someone cant iron out my head.
I went into work this afternoon (as you know i work part time from home) as i needed some inks for my printer. It was to print off some of the leaflets for work that have been so difficult for me to work on - so frustrating.
Where i work usually needs things like unwanted new gifts and bric a brac (so they can sell and make money from them). I have been putting together a huge box of things still in wrappers and a white leather and suede huge circular cushion i have just finished making. I am not good at quantities/sizes, so made it too big to use in the house - but its 'sell-able'.
E-mails back and forward and i was told i should pick the inks up over the weekend.
So its Sunday today, my husband loaded the car and we set off to work, to unload the goodies and collect inks.
The journey to work is painful for me because we pass 2 of the 4 addresses i had to stay at after the crash, because he threw me out. I call one of them 'Banished' for obvious reasons.
Pulling up at work is also painful - the lock i always used to tether my motorcycle to outside the offices has been laying on the ground since the crash. Nobody in 6 years has mentioned it nor moved it - they sweep leaves up around it.
So, anyway - got to work and my sister( who lives there on site) was pulling away. She saw us and pulled alongside, gave me a cuddle and went on her merry way to the shops, having just finished work.
So up to then everything was as it has been.
My husband started to unload the car and i went and put key in lock of the offices front door.
The locks have been changed. I am stunned - have i already lost my job and i dont know it ? (still am). I look down and notice my motorcycle lock is gone (after 6 years, its gone now).
I am feeling shaky and numb because i cant enter the office i work for - i still have my room inside, and its a place i worked at and lived in the flat above for maybe 23/24 years (cant remember exactly).
I tell my husband and we ring my sister and she agrees to put the box of goodies in her car and take them to work tomorrow when she gets back from the shops.
We get in the car and drive back past 'Banished' and the other place and head home. I felt like i wanted to jump out of the window of the car. Just too much pain.
I wouldn't you know - but my brain isn't right tonight.
On the way home my sister called me on the mobile - she ha picked up the box like we had asked but was screaming at me why i had put her Christmas present in the box of bric a brac ..... on and on and on. I hung up.
I didn't do it deliberately and it was only a coffee mug. My sister knew i was already in tears about my key and everything else. I couldn't find room in my brain to explain to her. I just hung up. I couldn't take the stress coming from her.
When we got home my husband said he was sending her a text saying sorry about doing that with her gift. I blew up.
I dont know where i am with this now - i dont know if my brain is exaggerating how bad things are or if this evening has been bad.
Can someone talk some sense to me.
Sorry my post is huge -