Help me help my parents.

[kaciclary11]

My father is a good man; he's always pushed himself to be better at anything he did to support his family and his passion has been sales. He's been a sales rep for as long as I can remember. When I was little, I thought he was amazing. I never learned how his drive for sales blinded him from the people he was working with. He tried so hard to make it work. Back in in 2012 my mom and dad were in the kitchen at home and my dad had begin mixing his words; my mom thought he was playing around, but when he didn't stop she realized something was wrong and took him to the hospital thinking it was a stroke. We found out later that night that my dad's stress had triggered a reaction out of an oligodendroglioma tumor that had been there dormant for a long time. After that, we tried to get him to slow down. In October of 2014 he was doing some truck driving to make extra money and he said that all he could see were flashing lights; the doctors told him that night the tumor had grown. On January 13th in 2015 the surgery was scheduled; it was an 8 hours surgery but 90% of the tumor was successfully removed. After that everything changed. He wasn't the same; his speech and memory were slow so he couldn't work a normal job anymore. But when his speech and memory improved, he went straight back to sales. At first I was so angry with him, but when I really stopped to think about it I realized that sales was all he knew; so he was clinging to that to prove to everyone and himself that he could still do and was still the same man he was before. But now, my mom is exhausted and scared; she has been financially supporting them both for too long. I want my dad to go to a job with a steady paycheck, but I know that it will break his pride to fully accept that the sales dream isn't working for him. I wanna find him a job where he can earn a good paycheck and still take pride in his work. Please help me find something; I'm all prayed out at this point.

[Hidden]

How very sad for them both. Acceptance of the fact that things are not the same after a bi is really hard. Would your father go to counselling or CBT where he talk over his fears for the future? It might help your mother to go too, being the wife of someone with a bi is not at all easy. I am sure that you dad is really frightened at the changes in himself. Have a chat with Headway and see what they can suggest for you all.

Best wishes to you all

Jan

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Sorry to hear of your situation. Unfortunately I cannot offer any work for your Dad, but can empathise with the drive and pride that motivates a person. My Mum suffered a stroke in October last year and has been left disabled and doubly incontinent. However despite all this she is determined to walk again.

Whatever stage we are in life our parents continue to be a source of inspiration.

Going back to your Dad does he have any interests or hobbies which he could base or form a job around? I am sure with his stoic approach success will be achieved, even though it may feel a world away at the moment.

[randomphantoms]

Hi Kaci and welcome.

Please tell me if I am way off the mark here but my guess is that you are in the USA.

Please stay here and talk with us but you could find biausa.org very helpful. Contact them please.

Love n hugs

Xoxo