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Hello Cat, jules here

Thank you for contacting mum - just heard one of her (many) Gambian dogs called 'Janet' has taken ill at the Vets, so may take a wee while to reply. poor dog has botulism poisoning......vets sound hopeful thou.

I have been given a break from therapy over Christmas - start again on Friday 6th Jan. It will be a year since i first started to speak to him.

My bad dreams have got more intense leading up to Christmas, I think I told you my recall started a couple months ago. The things i am remembering at home are not bad things, they are odd moments to suddenly remember, but they are from before the crash - i still dont remember a lot of things about my daily life for a few years previous, i do remember lots, but understand i have 'forgotten' lots of ordinary things too. I didn't realize this, i know that sounds impossible, but it was a revelation to realize it recently. It actually helped me greatly as it started to make sense of the jigsaw i am left. An awful lot as to how people treated me at work now makes sense. When i thought they were for some reason trying to undermine me, looking back, actually these people were trying to cope with a boss who couldn't do her job anymore. I had been in that position for maybe 22 -23 years, i am not suprised nobody could tell me.

I realize now that i must be recovering if i can see 'through the mist'. The woman i worked with knew about my head injury - i dont know who else was told or when. I am only so pleased i wasn't dragged through disciplinary procedure and dismissed. For my work standard or mt temper.

Its like that was one stage and the stage i am at now is 'what is truthfully happened'.

I have started eating again. The therapist said 'you wouldn't go on a long difficult journey without supplies would you, you need to eat' - that hit a cord with me and i called it Stage One as i ate my first proper meal a few weeks back.

At the sessions I work very hard at being as honest as i can -I find i an coming out with stuff that hasnt gone through my brain yet (thats how it feels).

He draws stuff on a white board while we are talking and takes a picture on his phone which he sends to me on my computer at home. My homework each time is to study this and tell him what i recall at the next session. It always amazes me that i never recall anything from the picture - I asked him at one session if he had accidentally sent me someone else whiteboard memos. He hadnt, as soon as he starts to recap, it comes back.

Its only really the last few sessions we have started mentioning injuries and the crash.

At this very moment i am feeling 20 steps forward then just 10 steps back, then 20 steps forward. Thats positive.

I will keep updating you Cat, hope your OK and your pain under control

Much love



9 Replies

  • How lovely to hear all these details of your journey to recovery and re-discovery Jules. I can't tell you how happy it makes me seeing that you've made such significant steps toward making sense of your past .................which hopefully will impact in a really positive way on your future.

    Keep up the good (and I'm sure often difficult) work. ............and be proud of what you're achieving. Cat xx

  • Hello Cat, jules here

    Just say thank you - have a peaceful holiday time and look forward to spring in your garden




  • Thanks for that Jules ! Take care of yourself..............And all best wishes for your health & emotional wellbeing in 2017. :-) Cat xx

  • PS meant to say I just heard from your mum that the little pooch is improving, so nice to hear ! x

  • Hi Jules

    Like Cat I am so happy to hear that you are making positive steps on the journey.

    You know that you have our support.

    May the coming year bring you lots more breakthroughs and progress.

    Love n hugs


  • Hello Randonphantoms

    Thank you to you also, people like you and Cat are helping me stay focused.

    Much love to you and i am wishing you a peaceful and relaxing December and into another year




    You know, for a long time i wanted to call you OXO after the xoxo on the bottom of your posts - are you Janet ? i have forgotten


  • Hi Jules

    I like the idea of OXO very tasty!☺

    I'm not Janet but thanks for thinking me like they very loving and caring souls that are Cat and Janet.

    Sending you a pm reminder of me.

    Love n hugs


  • Hi Jules, good to read of your progress and your recovery. Wishing you all the best in 2017 x

  • Jules, Hi !

    Just had to sweep in enthusiastically and say how pleased I am that you are doing so well with therapy. I'm struggling with my physical symptoms at the mo but we are fighters, right ? My motto for the New Year - No surrender ! : ) Love, Angela x

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