Hello Cat, jules here
Thank you for contacting mum - just heard one of her (many) Gambian dogs called 'Janet' has taken ill at the Vets, so may take a wee while to reply. poor dog has botulism poisoning......vets sound hopeful thou.
I have been given a break from therapy over Christmas - start again on Friday 6th Jan. It will be a year since i first started to speak to him.
My bad dreams have got more intense leading up to Christmas, I think I told you my recall started a couple months ago. The things i am remembering at home are not bad things, they are odd moments to suddenly remember, but they are from before the crash - i still dont remember a lot of things about my daily life for a few years previous, i do remember lots, but understand i have 'forgotten' lots of ordinary things too. I didn't realize this, i know that sounds impossible, but it was a revelation to realize it recently. It actually helped me greatly as it started to make sense of the jigsaw i am left. An awful lot as to how people treated me at work now makes sense. When i thought they were for some reason trying to undermine me, looking back, actually these people were trying to cope with a boss who couldn't do her job anymore. I had been in that position for maybe 22 -23 years, i am not suprised nobody could tell me.
I realize now that i must be recovering if i can see 'through the mist'. The woman i worked with knew about my head injury - i dont know who else was told or when. I am only so pleased i wasn't dragged through disciplinary procedure and dismissed. For my work standard or mt temper.
Its like that was one stage and the stage i am at now is 'what is truthfully happened'.
I have started eating again. The therapist said 'you wouldn't go on a long difficult journey without supplies would you, you need to eat' - that hit a cord with me and i called it Stage One as i ate my first proper meal a few weeks back.
At the sessions I work very hard at being as honest as i can -I find i an coming out with stuff that hasnt gone through my brain yet (thats how it feels).
He draws stuff on a white board while we are talking and takes a picture on his phone which he sends to me on my computer at home. My homework each time is to study this and tell him what i recall at the next session. It always amazes me that i never recall anything from the picture - I asked him at one session if he had accidentally sent me someone else whiteboard memos. He hadnt, as soon as he starts to recap, it comes back.
Its only really the last few sessions we have started mentioning injuries and the crash.
At this very moment i am feeling 20 steps forward then just 10 steps back, then 20 steps forward. Thats positive.
I will keep updating you Cat, hope your OK and your pain under control