Lonely days

[Iwona084]

I've spent wonderful time with my husband. If we are lucky we will see eachother again in a month. Im starting new job on 1st august but today ( Tom left today) i feel very lonely. What is the point of having this job even, if all i really should do is to be with my husband. My parents went for holiday so I will be alone for 4 days. First time since my surgery... Not sure what to do, what to think. I just want to leave everything; my goals my ambition all the stupid stuff and be with my husband. More and more I feel that only this matters. I wanted to build my life again but today i feel i just should be with him. I have gone through enough, need just happy face of my husband.

[Julesgettingthere]

Hello Iwona

Its Jules here.

We havent 'chatted' before i dont think.

Saw your post and felt so sorry for you.

My partner (now ex partner, i am now re married) who caused my accident kicked me out of our home about a year after my last operation.

I went through a period of loneliness like i have never felt before. I wanted to javk everything else in and just run. I couldnt understand what was happening and i had a brain injury.

I dont know your situation very well, but just to say, i am thinking of you, hoping your loneliness eases soon, at least for a while.

Bless

regards

Jules

x

[Iwona084 in reply to Julesgettingthere]

Hi Jules. I had brain hemorhage 1,5 yrs ago. I did not know about it until it broke and left me dying on my kitchen floor. At that time I was planning my wedding with a guy I have been with in highschool. We broke up when I was 21 because we were too young immature and maybe stupid but we found eachother again 2 yrs ago and everything was going great. I decided to move from poland to live with him in the UK. We got engaged on mountain trip and we decided to get married in February 2015. But 1 of january 2015 i was in hospital. So here it is. I had to leave my lufe in warsaw and live with my parents and he was with me nearly s year , but once i got better we decided it will be wiser for him to go back to the uk. Since then we meet every few months, he renovated a flat for us there but for some reason I cant decide to join him. I will be starting new job 1st of august and then i will know whether im able to work again. But all i want now is him. I feel stupid and lost in this feeling. I know now we can die any moment and i want to spend with him all thr moments I have left.

Thank you for your reply and im sorry you had a bad experience with your ex. Life is so short. Somehow though times passes slower when Im on my own...

[Julesgettingthere in reply to Iwona084]

Hello Iwona

You sound in love - what is it in your thoughts that prevents you from living with him - is it because you need to find out who you are by trying this job ?

Just say if you are not able to talk about it at the moment. Was just wondering as i do similar things.

Sitting here typing to you with a kitten asleep on my left arm !

My husband is out visiting a friend, loving having the roam of the house myself. I still feel the loneliness occassional, even now Iwona, even though my husband is brilliant. Maybe its to do with the head injury a little.

Regards

Jules

x

[Hidden]

HI Iwona, Loneliness does make the unwelcome visit when left alone. I too survived a brain haemorrhage ten years ago. I vividly recall the lonely feeling that descended upon me with a big thud, once I was discharged home after two months in hospital. I only had my canary for company. Sure, I could have asked friends/family to visit and they did sometimes. However, I did need quiet alone time for my brain to at least attempt to make sense of what happened to me. I empathise with what you are going through. Hopefully the four days on your own will not be unbearable. It may a perfect time for you to catch up on much needed rest for your brain. On a brighter note, It's a good thing this forum is here to help ward off the at times intense feelings of loneliness because it is comforting to be able connect with others whom understand.Claire xx

[cat3]

Just messaged you m'dear. xx