FIRST DAYS OF DISCHARGE FROM HOSPITAL - HELP!

[AVENA]

Hi so we had our discharge on Friday and I now have a full week on my own before any care starts.I have to work full time but I do work at home. My spouse is rather confused today but didn't sleep well due to a chesty cold runny nose etc. Also we had visitors yesterday who mean't well, but it may have been too much. Does anyone have any advice for these very early days and how to cope with confusion and obvious aggitation. I am finding it hugely diifcult today and have had one mild panic attack due to issues getting to the toilet. I do feel useless and all at sea, I have no idea what I should or should not be doing really. Any advice greatly received.

[MaryLou13]

Hi! Well done you. You will honestly muddle through the first few weeks ( I'm a year in and still having very major ups and downs!). I don't know your situation but we used white boards from the very beginning with the date on, where we were etc. I used to jump in the shower with my hubby as I couldn't leave him to get my own! I would take breakfast in bed which we ate together (this had turned into lovely quality time we spend together each day). We use labels or tags on cupboards and drawers and I label his outfits for the week so he doesn't have to think about things. Those were things I did right from the beginning. I'll post if I think of anything else. Sending much love x

[AVENA in reply to MaryLou13]

Thank you

[razyheath43]

Do contact headway tomrrow,keep vistors to an hour each,take time to adjust,it will all seem better in a couple of weeks

[moo196]

I think it might be helpful to try getting a kind of "set" ( possibly written?) routine going.

It helped me to have it written in half hour type slots so I knew what might be good to do next ( I live alone). A calendar where things could be ticked off was good for me.

Might need cupboards labelling? Instructions for making own tea or even for watching tv....

Some exercise, two or three half hour rests, some music? Half an hour of something arty / crafty, cooking ? Anything that doesn't have a right or wrong. Adult colouring books would've been good for me. But sorting photos/cutting up gardening magazines/ organising the cupboards etc

Reading or tv? Books on cd were great and a timer set to half hour intervals might be helpful.

Hopefully you can get out for a stroll together each day?

Have you contacted headway and the community neuro rehab team ?

.Hope someone can pop in so that you can also get half an hour from time to time.

Might be wise to restrict visitors to this half hour limit too.

Good luck! ☺

[AVENA in reply to moo196]

We will have some help the week after next, three hours on a Monday and Tuesday afternoon and hopefully one day a week at Headway on a Friday around the 6th October - I hadn't organised too much due to the cold and the fact that he was exhausted after hospital. He didn't sleep or eat there and was hugely stressed the last couple of weeks. From tomorrow I will structure the day as best I can as I am going to be working from home but we are managing a two mile dog walk of an evening which hubbie asks to do. He has the option to turn back but manages the whole walk. The injury was from a ruptured brain aneurysm so considering that was only 13 weeks ago we are doing very well. It is the confusion that I find distressing, this seems to happen so much more when tired so mindful of that!

[moo196 in reply to AVENA]

That's great - I'm just wondering if it's really too much though? Two miles might be ( but of course I am not a medic- just experience tells me that half an hour at a time was best for me and two miles might be adding to his tiredness and confusion). I definitely needed to sleep 12hours plus naps in the early months.

Take care

[AVENA in reply to moo196]

I did ask the hopsital and they said it was okay if he wants to do it. I wish he did sleep 12 hours, that is the problem, a lack of sleep at hospital and due to the cold, up at 2 30 this morning! hoping for a better night tonight, off now actually. Thank you for your support x

[CH56Twin]

Hello Avena

A key point for you- if the same sort of thing applies. 18 months on with a return to p/t work I still find evenings difficult. I forget stuff and confusion can creep in. I am one of the lucky ones as I have been able to return to work but the common denominator for me is that every evening whether working or not I can easily get confused and even sometimes a little disorientated. Be prepared for this to be a common issue throughout hubbys recovery - don't use this time period of the day as any sort of measure of improvement. Hope this is of some use to you. All the very best to you and hubby on your journey through his recovery. Clare x

[AVENA in reply to CH56Twin]

Thank you everyone, tremendously helpful.

[moo196]

Morning,

Hope you had a good night.

I know that I had to treat myself as a toddler in the first few months (once o was well enough to think) . Over tired toddlers don't sleep well either. Hence I became strict about bedtimes with myself. A routine really helped.

I definitely used (and still use often) good earplugs and eye mask. Maybe hubby would benefit from these ?

[AVENA in reply to moo196]

So far so good, hubby is having a lie in - why not!!!!!!!!! The first proper self indulgent enjoyable lie in since I don't know when, good luck to him. Meanwhile the notes are up, what day it is, where we are and what is on the agenda today. Rest, good food already in the Slow Cooker and a dog walk later. We will start the new week gently with a walk to our village Post Office to get some bread.

[moo196 in reply to AVENA]

Take it steady.have yourself a cuppa

Set the routine as much as possible.

I must get up myself now. Work at midday.

☺

[sue-66]

That's all good advice and as my partner is hopefully coming home Xmas, it's giving me help and idea's before he gets home