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Fate, God Conscious or What?

Hi all,

Yes up early as usual and wanted to share some stuff with my fellow bi sufferers. I was just reading through the post by Headway on Brain injury in TV and Film and it got me thinking about the last 6 months and whats happened to me. I won't bore you but I have to share this:

I had my MX accident back in May 2015 and acquired a brain bleed well 3 of them on my frontal lobe and was in hospital for a time and a lot has changed and happened since then. I have changed and changed for the better over time and iv accepted that. My personality is different and so is my thinking but along the way well before the Bi I was one and a half years sober thanks to AA so my thinking was completely changing anyway along with my feelings coming back and my spirit and my belief in God thats a God of my own understanding. Due to the abi and my AA recovery I have been learning a lot about my self and have well am discovering who I am and what I'm about. This is very common from the age of 42 but I'm 47 so a little late but better late than never.

I had my first visit with my headway councillor to see what I needed and weather I needed a councillor 8-9 weeks ago and what a revelation that was. She decided I could do with some help and the following week I was given a councillor, I am not using names here just in case. My councillor M has bee an absolute God send for me and we hit it off spiritually from the first meeting. I had lost all my emotion due to the abi but at that first meeting it started to flood back. We looked at my life from he beginning and I told her about my alcoholism and that I was adopted from about 8 weeks old. She too has adopted daughters so we talked about adoption all the time. I have discovered that its the one thing I have never ever really talked about and from reading and researching through books and discussing it with my councillor its a big problem in my life and has been. Im not going to go into much detail about that because i don't want to be typing all day but its a fantastic for me.

As the title says Fate, God conscious or what?

So I had this accident in May last year then a year passes and Iv learnt so so much through this forum with you lovely people since then and my knowledge of abi and its symptoms is growing daily. Then I got counciling through Headway and my councillor has the one thing in common with me adoption that we talk about and it turns out that was a big problem and still is for me so I decide pretty quickly to do something about it.

My accident was it fate, chance, God conscious so I would meet my councillor M a year later then dive into my life and discover stuff about myself that I was so afraid to uncover and dig up? Damb I love this stuff and the fact that paths are crossed with people that can send you on a completely different journey than you were expecting, life is beautiful and weird all at the same time.

There is a really positive thing to come out of my accident and I thank God for that because at the time I felt mentally dead and would never get life back.

Have a fantastic Saturday people and God Bless. Now I'm off to the MX track :-)

9 Replies


So glad you're doing well. It has been said to me there was a reason for my accident, which in some ways I probably agree with, but can't help getting frustrated by the fatigue, lack of sleep and poor concentration, but I think it has made me a more considerate person.

Have a fabulous weekend, I'm flying off to the picos for a bit of r & r tomorrow, can't wait.



Hi Sue,

Yes fatigue gets me every time. My thinking and emotions are all new though. Have a fantastic Sunday. Nick Xx


How exciting to find your emotions were simply waiting to be unlocked. I had a similar experience with a psychiatrist many years ago and, having a 'Been there - done that' attitude to therapy, it shocked me............but in a good way.

It's lovely hearing how you're lighting up the dark corners of your life and I wish you more and more success in doing just that.

Love Cat x


Thank you Cat, its scary though and exciting at the same time. What will today hold? N xx


All good stuff I hope. Sun's out here at present ; hope you've got some too. Cheers Nick ! xx


Coming at it from a Christian perspective (as you would expect from me) it is true I find that if you are open to seeing it God will always find a way to use any seemingly negative experience to make the opportunity for a new, positive one. It is the creator aspect in action. It runs through the story - you could say it is the only story really; order out of chaos, matter out of energy, light out of darkness. That then shapes so many stories and parables - of healing, of transformation, finally of resurrection. Take for example the idea of the seed - which has to be buried in the ground, essentially 'dead' to all intents and purposes, in order for new, different life to spring forth. Butterflies are another important Christian symbol with a similar theme.

So yes, your experience is (from my spiritual perspective) very much a case of God taking the clay of a life that had gone a bit off course, warming it up again as he pulled it back into a formless shape with his hands, settling it back on the wheel and coaxing it again into a new form. You can only wonder how tall, or intricate, or patterned a vessel it will be this time...and yes that is exciting. Because 'with God all things are possible' !

Hope you had a good ride yesterday and blessings for your Sunday x


With a lump in my throat I'm replying mala...:-( (emotion of joy)

In AA we are guided through the 12 steps of recovery and its suggested we have a higher power and a God of our understanding, anything really anything that is more powerful than us. I have gotten a lot closer to my God over the past year especially since my abi and I just can't help believing theres a much bigger picture than all this. The word "creator" rings with me too.

My wife is going to Church this morning its a modern christian church and I live listening to her stories about whats going on when she gets back. She's only been a few times but I can see her glow when she returns. I need to look into this myself.

Blessings to you too. Nick Xx


Think you have discovered the difference between spirituality and religion. I know many people whom describe themselves as religious very few a spiritual - one whom goes to church 2-3 times a week and is a neighbour is nasty, vindictive and very far from the christian beliefs she undertakes in church.

When you meet a truly spiritual person whether they are Christian, Muslim, Hindu or Earth beliefs they have an inner peace and calm. Whilst I have never reached anything like that, I can appreciate it in others.

As a technologist, the knowledge of an ultimate creator, I find difficult. However, even as a technologist there a some things that are difficult to pin down to things other than a spiritual connection - like thinking i must speak to someone and the phone rings and is that person or knowing something is going to happen before it does.

Post injury, I am a different person, not sure I am better person. However, my journey has taken a different route now so we will have to find out - hopefully there is plenty f time left :-)

All the best on your particular journey.

1 like

Lovely words sospan. Xx


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