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[Mum4ever]

Hi everyone. My first visit to this site, recommended by the Headway Helpline.

My 22 yr old son had an accident in April this year.Sustained ABI. Induced coma for 9 days.

Has done really well but has fatigue, anxiousness, 'catastrophising', as well as other after effects of the ABI.

Anyone out there with some words of support/advice?

Thanks

[Dorsetcharlie]

Hi ParentB

My husband sustained a severe brain injury over a year ago and is still in hospital. I am constantly being told that is 'very early days' and he is certainly making progress everyday, so although I know it feels like a lifetime has already passed since April, I'm sure your son has a great deal of improving still to do.

One of the best things I read in all the hours of research I have done trying to understand what is happening to my husband was an interview with an eminent US neurologist; he was asked when the injured person's brain stops developing and his response gave me a huge sense of hope, he said: "the same as everyone else, when they die".

Your son's journey is far from over and he has you to support him, so he's very lucky!

Good luck.

[formula]

hi and welcome - well i was 22 when i had my bike crash , my parents where told the next 24 hrs would be crtical .. i did have the last rights at the time but i knew nothing about it as i was in a coma for the next 2 weeks .. luckly i came round triggerd beleive it or not by some music i use to always listen to played over my earphones ... then the doctors said i would never walk , eat naturaly and would be half paralized . over the next couple of years i gritted my teeth and refused to accept this was my life .. managed to get my walking back through the grace of god and my right hand side became more and more better , they said i would never work again i went back to work and after 5 years after my crash i was head chef ... the years have taken there toll though all the fighting and my body was just so sick of being forced and dragged to do what i wanted it to do .. i gave up working 5 years ago , just because i just couldnt cope anymore .. and im 42 now typing this message and wondering what life surprises has instore for me .. lol ... but i was your sons age and take heart from the gains i made .. sometimes its just down to a defiance and a refusal to give in .. always have hope nothing is set in stone , but its early days indeed and there many a year to come with more battles more emotional than physical but my thoughts are with you and give your lad my best wishes , and tell him never surrender never give up , best of wishes to both of you

Paul

[2012gee]

Hi My son sustained a TBI at the age of 18 fatigue is very common indeed this is not to worry about at all. The main thing is to build his confidence up and get him motorvated as quick as you can, do not let him sit around. It is very early days for your son, he and you must believe in him get him moving and doing as much as you can, but being there for him is the main thing. Anxiousness is also common thats why we have to work on getting him doing thing, things he may of found easy before may be hard now, but things get a whole lot easier trust me, If your sons accident was in April and you say he is doing well then that is amazing. It has taken my son 6 years to get were he is, you can read my blog to see what happened. I truely believe that the more you get them moving the better the outcome, the brain is a very complex thing and has amazing ways to re-route its self. he must reast when he is tired and not to feel bad about it, my son still sleeps sometimes in the day even now. If you would like to know anything else please message me. Sending much love x

[Mum4ever in reply to 2012gee]

Thank you so much!! Your comments have really helped. I will read your story and take on board your advice and comments. Thanks again. Xx

[brighton88 in reply to 2012gee]

I totally agree with you, my motivation came from my dog and her need of me, I set myself goals 1) get up and go down stairs 2) Rest on the sofa. all sorts of silly goals that slowly built up a routine that I even today build on

[Mum4ever]

Dear dosetcharlie and paul, thanks so much for your kind words and support. You are right. It is early days yet and my boy is doing so well. I think that because he has done so well since the accident the progress now is slower and will be very emotional to deal with. His wife found out she was pregnant when he was in hospital and the baby is due in the next two weeks!!!!! This has in fact been something positive to focus on and he is so looking forward to being a dad. Xx

[2012gee]

I've just read your profile, your story is so sad, bless your son and his wife. The baby will be great for them, even if it will be hard at times, I'm sure with the love of your family they will be fine. On another note the words is he better now? If I had a fiver for every time someone said that to me or my family, I would be rich. People see them walking taliking etc and think that's it, like a broken arm or something, it used to make me so mad, but the thing with a brain injury if you don't have any scars two heads etc then you are better. That's why it's called the hidden disibility. You have massive highs then big lows you expect Your love one to keep improving all the time, but the thing is it's like a roller coaster ups then downs, they come on leaps then it comes a lot slower then leaps again. This is very normal. Please give your son all our love take care x

[Mum4ever]

Reading this on way to work. So true, lots of ups and just as many downs. I hope that my son's story will have the best ending with his return to uni and work in the future. For now he does have the best support from his wife, family and friends. Keep strong everyone. I think we need each other!! Xx have a good day today!

[Kennelmaid]

Hi ParentB,

My son was in an accident at the beginning of May this year. He was in an induced coma for 2 weeks , and lost his right eye. They said he would be in the hospital for months,but he came out at the end of June.He's had to move in with us,(he's 27 and had been gone for years), so there's been a lot of adjustments to make for everybody. He has made good progress though,but he still get's tired and frustrated. He does have a few problems with his memory and his attention span isn't great now,but every day makes a difference. This site and Headway make things a bit easier,realising that other people know what we're going through. I hope your son continues to improve, take care everyone. xx

[brighton88]

in October 2007 after surgery on a frontal lobe tumour I was so scared, not so much about my health, but that I no longer felt part of the pre op world, I was now dependant on other people and had to re learn everything I once took for granted, I could not even write my own name and cried the first time I was asked to give my mark with a cross. The humiliation of it.

Two of the worst things that have been said to me are;

'don't worry' Of course I'm worried who would not be, and to say this while meant as reasuring can take away our right to be frightened.

'You'll be ok', Well clearly while alive I am not alright because I am not the person I knew.

After any kind of brain injury there is so much adjusting to do, along with re learning about our body condition and how to cope. I had previously always thought that sleeping in was for lazy people, and after my operation would not sit down or go to bed, for fear of dying while not awake, and fear that if I did it was to admit to being lazy. My consultant wrote a prescription for me and on it she wrote; Stephen is to to got to bed four times a day and stay there for no less than one hour at a time, not silly really I needed someone to tell me to stop and rest as part of the recovery. It is exhusting for your brain to re learn so many things