Lovely weekend. Nice seven mile walk in the sunshine with the Baroness and the youngest mini Baron. Walking and chatting, opening up, talking about home life, the future, etc..
Anyhoo, Hollie decided with no prompting from us that from now on I will no longer be simply 'Andy'. From this moment forward, I shall be known as... 'Dad'.
Without that damned accident, the brain injury and all that went along with it, I wouldn't be here now, happily married and suddenly, a dad.
Aint fate grand
Fantastic Andy, knew if you hung on in there it'd be fine, those girls can be a real headache at times but so worth it.
Well deserved too.
Love Janet xxxx
So lovely to hear that you have now been promoted to 'Dad'! A lovely positive in amongst all the ongoing mini baron difficulties. I often find that my son will engage in conversation about important things when we are in the car driving or walking to school. Think it takes the pressure off the 'chat' rather than planning and sitting down face to face to have it. To have you as 'dad' is clearly important to her and maybe it is suggesting that she is still struggling with all her confusion about who and what her family is and who is important to her and how that all fits together with the 'birth' family. Maybe some guilt is tangled in there about deep down how she feels about her birth dad. My son is adopted and although I know for sure that it is me that he wants as his 'mum' he is still very troubled by all the 'whys' and 'what's happened' etc etc plus he continues to wish I had been his birth mum because he feels different to everyone else (even though he knows in reality he isn't the only one). He is also harbouring lots of angry and confused thoughts about his birth family and as children often do .....thinks it is his fault ...... that he was a naughty baby/toddler that was to difficult to love and manage. Hang onto those windows of positives because like for Lawrence, Hollie is going to continue to present with the frustratingly difficult behaviours as frustratingly we can't untangle our childrens inner minds and behaviours so easily and they sure will continue to press our buttons!!
Thanks for that. There is a lot of sense in what you say, and an awful lot of similarities too. She's just a mixed up kid and it's no surprise as to why. We totted up last night and 'real' dad has seen her perhaps seven times in her entire decade of life. He lives eight miles away and the door has always been open...
It looks like the transition is well & truly underway. And how touching that Hollie must have been feeling happy & 'complete' out in the sunshine with both her parents.
Some way to go I'm sure, but quite a breakthrough Andy ; well done ! xx
Indeed! I just hope this is a new start for her, in more ways than one. I shall of course keep you informed. Will you give me a reference when I possibly throttle her in approximately a fortnight?
Awe so good to read your news! And I bet you will make a blooming good job of being dad! Sounds like a major break through has been made! Happy parenting, may you have many good times and may you be able to take the bad with the good! What a great story, I'm smiling here for you! xx
Oh no, I can't cope - shades of the film 'Goodnight Mister Tom' ! I cry every Christmas over the final scene : )
The highest accolade your new daughter could bestow on you. Wonderful news : ) x
Happy news indeed! Being dad does not protect you from the ups and downs of a child's inner moodiness though. It just means that she is comfortable to show her frustrations to the people who love and care about her most. Knowing that she feels safe enough to do that means you are doing something right.
I had step dads when I grew up. One was just dad. I was sad and angry when he left. I then had a monseterous imposition who did everything to make our lives a misery and it made it difficult to accept his son. It felt like two separate entities living under one roof. Then at 21 I got my dad. He was wonderful. Made mum very happy and supported my younger brother through a turbulent time in his teens. We were honored to know him and it was very sad when he died of cancer in his brain.
For my children, they had open access with their dad always, still do. They're going to his wedding this month as he gets remarried to his 3 rd wife. They have had an expanding family over the years and they have struggled at times.
They have pushed and railed and driven me nuts over the years but consistent home rules and unconditional love got them through the rough times.
I never remarried but I have been engaged for near 10 years and my partner has always been there for them. They fall out, they sulk they argue some more then they just settle down and get on with life.
My daughter has just finished second year at uni, my eldest son goes off to uni this year and my youngest ( mine and my partners son) is doing his first round of exams in school at the moment.
My mum said that kids leave the norms expected of society in the early teens and return as a rounded well balanced human when they reach early twenties. Having been through it I kind of agree.
My partner does seem to take things as a personal attack against him when they blow up about stupid things but it's not directed and it usually just them pushing for independence without wanting to leave the security of what they feel comfortable with/in.
Being a step parent is not easy by any means and I take my hat off to anyone willing to take on that role. I hated the term step parent but now I see the value of someone willing to STEP into that role.
Hats off to you!
Aw, thanks, you. And thanks also for sharing your story with me. Sounds like you've all come through some hard times yourself and your kids are still smiling. If we come out the other side as you have, that'll do for me!
No kisses. 
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