Hi, if anyone has read my previous posts they will know about my Brother-in-law Graham, suffering long term BI from an road accident in 1975 (he is now 59). He was stable for many years, supported emotionally and financially by my parents-in-law and lived with them til finally my mother-in-law died in 2009 (her husband died in 1994). Then Graham's mental health went down hill. He wanted to live in the family house on his own, which we all helped him do. I got him sorted with his benefits, until then he didn't claim Disability. We got him a cleaner/helper which we paid for. She lasted a year before he accused her of stealing, and being after his money. She was cleaner/carer for several others and through extensive research backed up by other people she cared for, we knew this wasn't true. He started saying crazy things like I'd appeared in his shower! and I'd stolen all his mother's jewellery, broken into the house and climbed over 8ft fences, shimmied up walls, over bins. ( I have never been able to do any of these gymnastics!!) All totally untrue, no signs of any break-ins. The jewellery was given to my neice in law by my husband Mike and his other brother Jim because thats what my mother-in-law wanted in her will. Graham knows all this and has been asked if he wants any thing from the jewellery but declined. He still continues to say I've broken into the house and taken random things. No one has a key except him, no sign of forced entry. He says he wants to save millions of pounds and everything in my mother in laws will should be his instead of being divided equally between her 3 boys. Wanted all the money from her car when it was sold, and wont pay anything when stuff goes wrong on the house, so we have to pay it to stop it falling into disrepair.Graham says his mum collected diamonds and millions of pounds worth of precious gems on holidays abroad. Her jewellery is only worth sentimental value to her grandaughters.
As mentioned previously the GP who took him off all medication for his BI says he isn't bad enough to take any medication. The social workers visit although we have no contact and no feedback. The house is a complete tip. My step-son Scott who is brilliant with Graham went to visit and was sworn and verbally abused as is any family member who goes to the house. He seems to act ok when the Doc or social workers come to visit. Scott won't visit anymore, he can't take the abuse and was shocked to discover Graham had a knife in the loft hatch which he said was to stop all the intruders that keep breaking in. Jim who lives abroad, won't go and see Graham, I think he's scared of him. Jim has also been accused of being a burgular to the house, so he wont go near the place or Graham and refuses to have anything to do with him.
All this means my husband Mike feels responsible for Graham. But he too won't go to see him because of verbal abuse. Because we couldn't bear to think of him on his own on Xmas day we invited him to dinner. However he started shouting that I had stolen all his mother's jewellery again, and I was knocking on the door at 3am every morning. I couldn't take it and burst into tears. My husband took Graham home, and on the way home Graham asked why I got upset. My husband told him why and he couldn't understand because he thinks it true. Mike told him its all silly but he just started going on about why he was owed all of our money set aside for his house repairs.
We have asked to see his social worker but she is on extended leave, so no one at Social services could help us. My husband is very good, but can't see how all these events have drained me. I am getting depressed about it. My step son understands as he says he thinks Graham takes it out on me to get at his brother, my husband, but doesn;t get a reaction from Mike. Mike says he is lashing out like a child would, and wants to hurt everyone. Grahams physical health is not good. He has a type of parkinsons brought on by the massive jolt to his brain all those years ago. We want him to stay independant but does n't seem to be coping. I stil lfeel desparately sorry for him, despite his outbursts.
Just needed to talk to someone. This forum helps when you need someone to talk to
thanks for listening