New to this

Hi. This is my first time on the site. my husband tried to take his life four weeks ago by an overdose of insulin. At first we were told that he would not make a week. But he has slowly awakened and is now off the ventilator as well as starting to respond to us by nodding and shaking his head.

My emotions are all over the place as my life has been turned upside down. I never know what to expect when going to the hospital to visit him, some bad days when we thought he had pneumonia to good days when he gave his first smile.

I'm not expecting any answers here, the doctors keep telling us that they can't predict anything. But I would just like to share my fears, hopes and emotions in a safe place. I have the support of many wonderful friends and family but I go home at night to an empty house (except the dogs) and worry about how I will pay the mortgage and the bills and what the future holds for us. At one point I was choosing funeral songs and now it seems that my husband may have some sort of future, boy this is one hell of a rollercoaster.

I welcome any words of wisdom !!! and just a friendly ear or two.

Thanks

Angie

13 Replies

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  • Angie welcome

    No one can tell you what is going to happen in the future.

    What you have said has hit me really hard for personal reasons and my heart goes out to you. Please message me if you want to talk more.

    Is there a facility at the hospital for you to talk to someone about finances?

    Please contact Headway when they reopen. The contact details are in a pinned post.

    In the meantime the most important thing is for you to look after yourself.

    Lots of lovenhugs

    Xoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxooo

  • Thank you for your reply. I have spoken to Citizen's Advice and they have arranged for me to speak to a solicitor to obtain access to my husband's finances. I was worried sick about money but have been able to put this to one side and concentrate on my husband for now.

    I will contact Headway as having as much support as possible is helpful.

    it's good to know that there are people who can understand what I'm going through and that I don't have to always burden my family and friends as I am scared that they will tire of me going on.

    Angie x

  • hI Angie

    Yes, what a rollercoster you have experienced! Yes, your right this is a safe place to talk, ask advice, and vent and upset, here without judgement. My TBI was 4 1/2 years ago and I have always felt this forum allows you to say whatever you are feeling/experiencing without judgement, feelings or worries I could not share with family/friends either because they would not know what to say because they have experienced injury etc.

    I am so sorry you having such a rough time. I have had personal experience of a close person who sadly took an overdose. It throws all sort of emotions in the mix. Contact the CAB to make an appointment to see a welfare and benefits advisor, and they can help you start claiming ESA and PIP, and after 13 weeks I believe they pay the interest on your mortgage.

    Keep in touch and we are here to listen to.

    Take care of yourself and I be thinking of you

    S xx

  • Hi Angie, glad you found this site.

    There is always someone on here who understands.

    Talk, vent, go on as much as you like.

    No one minds.

    Take it one day at a time and take care. Kx

  • No wisdom but my heart goes out to you. There is always Samaritans they aren't just there for suicidal crisis. They are good listeners and a safe place to unburden yourself. Headway helpline brilliant resource too. Hugs

  • No real words that can help Angie - but my family and I went through the same roller coaster when my son had his accident. The ups and downs are exhausting, facing the unknown in a world of relative certainty is a curious experience; learning to live with out any kind of knowledge as to what the future will hold is exhausting, though very occasionally freeing. Amongst all of the pain , suffering, hurt, questions,struggle, there will be some beauty. Strange though it might seem there will be some beauty ...... Thinking of you and yours today . Kind regards and our very very best wishes.

  • Angie,

    This forum can be your safe-place, and Headway can help- I case-worked with a student with a mother in a similar situation a month or so ago, and Headway were phenomenal in sorting out the financial and support side of things.

    Small steps, long journey, and a philosophical approach, there isn't much in black and white where brain injury is concerned, we're all different, and progress at different rates.

    Welcome aboard, I don't suppose any of us have 'the answer' that you know you're not looking for anyway, but we all have our own little bits of the jigsaw that is progress and adaptation following brain injury, and we're willing to share.

  • My advice would be one day at a time there are good days and bad days and you have to fight for the care you need because I have seen they write some people off as they did with my mum and we never stopped believing that she would survive but we did seriously had to fight to get her the Carr she needed stay strong hope all goes well. Dave

  • Hi Angie

    So sorry to hear all that's going on in your life. Such a roller coaster.

    Glad you have found the Headway forum, there is always someone on here who will have some knowledge or experience and respond to you. It really is a lifeline.

    Keep posting and hope your husband and yourself get all the care and support you need.

    Take care xx

  • Hi Angie,

    As others have said my heart goes out to you along with my prayers as this is a tough time for you but try and be strong and take one hour at a time then one day at a time and the feeling of helplessness and fear you feel will pass. Your in the right place and I'm so pleased you have found this forum as its been an absolute Godsend for me.

    Share your thoughts, strengths, hope, emotions here and it will help you as your not alone in your feelings.This is a safe place to do this and you won't be judged just loved.

    God Bless and have a fantastic Monday. XX Nick

  • Hi Angie,

    I am so sorry that you are having to go through this, my heart goes out to you! You are showing such tremendous strength despite the circumstances. As the others have suggested, definately give headway a call. They have offered me both practical advice & also an (extremely) friendly, caring ear.

    I don't want to offer false hope, but couldn't help but share this..

    Prior to by BI, I worked for the NHS. I looked after a patient who overdosed on her partner's insulin. She had to be resuscitated, but remained in a coma for a prolonged amount of time. When she came round, things didn't look great in the long term. However, after an extended amount of time as an inpatient and subsequent transfer to a specialist unit, she was eventually discharged from hospital and ironically she was in my previous headway group (prior to me moving). Could not believe her recovery! I didn't inform her of my involvement In her care as I felt it my duty to abide by the rules of patient confidentiality.

    Please don't lose hope!

    I really wish you all the best and please come back here as and when you need a friendly ear, we are all here for you!

    Lots of love

    Emma xx

  • You poor thing

    I'm so sorry you are going through this awful experience x

  • Hello Angie, please accept a virtual hand to hold, shoulder to cry on, ear to bend, and brain to pick, (for what it is worth, speaking personally).I am sure you will find all the above here - I know I have. Would have been better to have been here in better circumstances obviously, but given the circumstances you find yourself faced with there is no better place to be, believe me.

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