Seeing the light at the end of tunnel

[thrillseeker]

My goodness I went back to the gp and notes that I am not feeling good on the medication because it's having a low impact on 150 mg and still feeling on edge and nervus and seem to be snapping at everyone and not knowing why was told that they would up my medication to 200 mg and got an appointment for a mental health service, I have been waiting for this now for a while but going throw my 20's not knowing what was wrong with me trying to take my own life a number of times back then as stated to the gp and got this appointment now so glad but worried I will be thrown in a padded sell because I am worried about going out and worried that every time I open my door some one is going to burgle me and take everything I have got and then there is the over doing it with CCTV on my property and not been able to concentrate and forgetting stuff

[sporan]

Hi thrillseeker,

The mental health services are well overloaded so long waits are pretty normal at the moment I think.

The mental health team will do a proper assesment of your needs and have a better understanding of the meds that you need and the proper dosage. They will also give you strategies and coping methods to help with you fears/phobias.

I don't think that padded cells exist anymore, jsut secure accomodation, but as your issues would seem to be a fear of going out then shutting in I guess would be counter productive.

II'm obviously not medically qualified but just expressing my thoughts that I think may be of comfort to you.

Here's hoping that your appointment comes through sooner rather than later and that you have a really positive experience. They've always been good with me when I have issues.

Take care and please keep us updated on your progress.

Kind thoughts

SPoran

[RecoveringH]

This is JUST my experience.

If it's any consolation, pressure on certain parts of the brain plus a blockage in other parts can facilitate the types of thoughts you describe. Hyper sensitive nervousness - paranoia - unable to find a positive joy (lots negatively) - continuous cycle of worry and doom - social disorders - memory problems long and short - fixation on issues to the point of ignoring daily eating, sleeping, toilet etc. I believe I ended up with an auto-immune disorder, a cycle of continuous self attack.

I would add to this repetitive behaviour which I put in place to provide comfort considering all of the above - mine was washing my hands when even a speck of dirt was possibly on them - sometimes many times per day. I believe this behaviour transpired because it was comforting. I believe the psychiatrists clinically call it obsessive compulsive disorder. Thankfully I didn't need to waste my time being analysed. As I broke the cycle, my emotions settled, my adrenaline eased, my immune system got back online and started working properly.

Logically thinking, life has its ups and downs, it is NEVER all down. THINIK ABOUT IT. Nothing in nature is ever just one way, the tides move in and out, breathing is up and down, sun rises and sets. So your negative place requires balancing with positive place.

Trick is when brain doesn't allow access, when emotions swing incomprehensively even to yourself, sit in silence with eyes closed and create a beautiful happy scene in your head. If you can remember some good times in childhood, sit in the experience. Try to see what you are wearing, hear the voices, hear your own laughter or see your own smile. If you have no access to memory - guess at what scene might give you joy. Put yourself in the scene in your mind and stay there, using all senses to explore the place.

This seeking for positive connections might take some practice, start for a few minutes, work up to ten minutes. This provides a balance to the nervous system of both positive and the usual negative. What it does is start to relieve the adrenalin release related to continuous stress. Look up Mindfulness meditation online and on Youtube, use some guided meditations. Often they walk you through forests, by the sea, in gardens, relaxing temporarily your system, giving the body opportunity to break habit and do some healing.

This might just be enough to set a change in motion in your adrenals, your immune system, your blood pressure, your circulation - many things are affected by BI. You are effectively asking your body to manually be positive, balancing the negative which is forced out due to physical symptoms in the brain.

Just my thoughts. It was mindfulness meditation which allowed me to push past the negative mind set, this was during my worst headache period and foggy brain, blurred eyes, loss of balance, falling over, emotional outbursts, tinnitus period. The world didn't make sense, so I created an inner one that did.

Best.