Well here again what with medication been changed I just wanna shout all the time feel angry but not knowing why then making life hard for my self by doing that I can wake up in a morning and be angry I am now wanting to leave everything and leave and not turn back to just wanting to leave and be alone from everyone just be in my own company
Mirtazapine 30mg from been on sertraline 200mg feel like I am cracking up but I can't go on like this because it's not nice on my family my partner buts up with a lot and I don't and can't help but flip at the smallest of things all cause the medication had been changed because the shrink thinks it's a personality disorder I don't think it's that as if it was I wouldn't go off like that just sick of the medical twits making some one else's life a mess can't win with the nhs I have now lost faith in all nhs and people wanting to help me
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thrillseeker
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I do understand the need for solitude. And I too am short on patience and often close to cracking with frustration and irritation towards people who care about me.
But I feel my condition is as controlled as it's ever going to be, mainly because of the medication I have which I feel is keeping more intense emotions & depression at bay.
I'm not sure the psychiatry route is useful after a brain injury. It was part of the evaluation regime when I had my ABI, to see a psychiatrist, which I went along with reluctantly.
But when he swapped my anti-depressants for sertraline I was furious, and couldn't wait to get home, and to my GP, to have them reinstated. The sertraline made me so ill ; all unnecessary when my existing meds suited me fine.
Before you walk away from those who care about you, please consider asking your GP for a referral to a specialist in CBT. This treatment has saved many relationships when all else has failed.
Also, have you ever been prescribed Paroxetine ? If not, ask your GP what he thinks about swapping the Mirtazapine for them.
Aggression is a common after effect of brain injury so please beware of psychiatric intervention when it may well be inappropriate.
Don't give up just yet ; there are testimonials from many folks on this forum who've been where you are now, then had their lives turned around by CBT.
My world seems as if it's been tipped upside down cat it's like I am on the other side to many I love and those that love me it's just that I was on sertraline for over 10 years and Al though it didn't help how I was feeling I can't seem to understand how or why I flip like I do it's hard I thrown my iPhone across the room last night before posting this.
That other medication you mentioned paroxertine I have tried them all but they didn't seem to work for me sertraline worked but just left me feeling like I was on edge I no I will never be what I call normal
But how many times can I go back to the GP and tell him I am not feeling well I can't get the words out right or seem to get the right words for how I am feeling I know this sounds odd but the only medication that did work an make me feel like I was as normal as normal that medication was diazepam and I know that's addictive but was only put on that 3 an a half years ago because of a massive break down in a relationship my daughters was taken to Newcastle by their mum and me riding a bike almost off a cliff face and the thoughts of death,
Ian, you can go back to your GP as many times as it takes ; that's what GPs are paid for. With ongoing problems you're entitled to keep pushing for a treatment which works for you.
Please consider the CBT. I know men don't like to share their innermost feelings, but this is a tried and tested therapy with an excellent success rate, and especially useful for people with anger & loss of interest in others.
And where antidepressants are concerned, it can be a long trial & error period before getting it right. Because each trial can take a couple of months, it was almost a year before I hit upon the one which suited me and, whereas others caused horrible side-effects, the Paroxetine suited me almost immediately. They differ in subtle ways and there will be one for you I'm sure.
Please don't waste your life giving up on yourself. I wasted years of mine and it turned out there was a solution all along. xx
I have an idea of the sorts of frustrations you can feel. Many a time, especially when the pain is forever there I feel like just giving up. I cannot see the sense in just plodding on, but then you get an occasional good day when all goes well and you are reminded that those around you really do care and everyone in the world is not out to get you.
I like long walks when I am feeling rough, at least that way I am less likely to take it out on the nearest and dearest. I have have a garage too, so I go and sort out my glasses of screws or re-sort out my wood stocks, or paint shelves. Believe me I must have the tidiest garage in Britain.
My medication is fairly static at the moment ... 200mg Topiramate (headaches); 400 mg Gabapentin (Sleep patterns); 200 Symbicort (keep my lungs working)
Keep on the journey one step at a time and know we all suffer in our own way.
I too had the rage after my TBI, I was on citalapram before the accident and being in a coma and then unable to speak for a while I couldn't tell anyone I needed to be put back on it. My family and friends kept telling the hospital staff and they didn't think I needed it. It wasn't until I was at the neuro rehab ward and I wad having constant panic attacks and crying all the time that they realised I needed some tablet intervention. I started on citalapram again and they helped calm me down again.
When I got home the rage and annoyance with the people around me kicked in. I was horrible to my partner and made him move back to his own place because he made me crazy with rage. It got ridiculous and I hated myself for being so angry, tearful and depressed all the time. My Gp suggested a change of meds and I refused, I was fearful of a new medication because I had a few bad experiences before the accident changing meds. Eventually , after another month of rage and tears, I took the plunge. I changed to setraline, I was worried because of the side effects so I started on 50mg. I was thankful to have no side effects and after 3 weeks I felt better, the rage was no more however I started to feel tearful again so doc suggested 100mg. I took the higher dosage for a few days but felt like awful, panic attacks, hallucinations, feeling nauseous. So I cut back to 75mg for 6 weeks and then went back up to 100mg. Seem to be okay on it now, my partner, family, friends and work colleagues have all said they have noticed a difference in my angry flare ups and tearfulness.
I know your not meant to play around with anti D's but it may be worth a try, lower your dose until you feel okay on that dose then eek it up a bit. Even try every other day on a higher dose to get your body used to it. I did that and then told my doc what I'd done and that it had worked, maybe I'm just lucky with my GP, he seems to "get it".
I almost lost my partner because of the craziness but we're trying to work things out. We'll never be the same but I'm glad he didn't jump ship. I have lost one of my best friends and that hurts like hell.
Try not to give up, maybe ask to see someone else if you are not happy with the treatment you are receiving, you are still in control of your life and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
In so many ways of feeling happy sad and high and low then not feeling anything sertraline worked but didn't work very well I was on 200mg and over the space of six months it was put up to that how ever I can't remember stuff I lose or lake concrete on things such as when watching something I will driffed or mind wonders and I forget stuff thanks any ways I know this is short and I know it's not much but feeling short tempered and don't want to fly off the handle as such thanks again
My short temper is the biggest issue between wifey and myself. I really don't know how she puts up with me sometimes. I think the reason is the love of a good woman at the third attempt. So if you yearn for a fulling and peaceful life trade wifey for a new model until you find the right one as I have done.
Hi there 'thrillseeker' Jules here#I haven't been online for a while.
Read your recent posts and the great responses back from our many friends here online.
I live in Newcastle but dont feel its where my home is now. I know the feeling of wanting to just go away from everyone.
I miss my motorbike, I used to try and ride it again - thank god i didn't hurt anyone.
It now sits in my garage. I hate going in the garage now, it feels full of ghosts.
I learnt something recently that helps others know how i feel so they can 'back off' before i am pushed into rage. It sounds stupid, but to my surprise it is working, at least at home with people i know.
Its just an A4 size paper with 3 colored circles on (like the red amber and green of traffic lights) I have magnets behind it so i can pin it to the boiler in the kitchen.
When i am feeling touchy and easy pushed into a rage, i move the red circle to the top, if i am feeling great its the green circle to the top. Mostly i have the amber mid way.
I dodnt think my partner would even look at it - but he got the dust pan and brush out the other day when i was on low amber, he just knew i would appreciate help without asking. When i was on red he went to see his mates and i had peace and solitude.
It doesnt solve the problem, and you have to make sure you keep adjusting it, but it has made my life just that little bit more easier.
In a funny way it helps me also, because it means he is acknowledging and understanding my mood to a certain degree.
I might run away one day I dont see there is a lot left in life for me. I feel i am paddling water for the moment. People like you on this site make me aware i am not alone in not enjoying the life we have now been given.
Try the traffic light thing ... never know.
kindest regards
Jules
The short temper is almost inevitable after a BI. I am not on meds anymore but if I hear some sounds they can make me feel so distressed and wanting to lash out that I have to move away before I hurt someone. Noises that nobody else seem to notice. Our brains are hyper sensitive and thats why we are always exhausted easily and need to do things slowly and carefully, not impulsively. Love some noises though, crave my music and stood awestruck at my first LOUD gig after my ABI, loving every moment. I guess it has to be the right sounds.....
Yes, it is very frustrating. The doctors give the medicine but we're the ones who have to go through the crap with it. We really have to know more than the doctors about what it is we need, because they are just practicing and don't have to go through all the crap we do when medications change or aren't helping. I'm sorry you're having to go through this and that any of this happened. One of the things I did that really seemed to help me quite a bit with the anger and outbursts was I went to a practitioner using Crossinology crossinology.com/ The website is talking about children and learning issues, however it really addresses help for many many brain issues. There is a practitioner locator to find someone close to you as well. Best wishes to you.
traumaticbraininjuryatoz.or... after I looking to see if I can self help and go armed in to GP an then say I would like anti psychotic medication which is used to treat aggression
I don't often post on here but read regularly, your post and the others following really relate to me and I feel like I'm not the only one who has to deal with this.
10 years after my TBI and on and off anti depressants for most of that time, mainly cipramiI which was ok but then I was put on sertraline, it really didn't work for me and I felt awful. I went back to the doctors and they said up the dose and stick with it. I hated going to the doctors as they didn't seem to understand. A few weeks later I threw them in the bin and have been tablet and doctor free since. I hated the numb feeling the tablet gave me no emotion whatsoever. After doing that was the toughest time of my life really dark times. I am still married but have made it so hard for my wife and family at times anger and wanting to just be left alone. Fortunately the worst passed, I still have bad times but found other ways to deal with it.
I found exercise especially running my saviour I started doing 10-15 mins 2/3 times a week. To motivate and keep it up was hard but I found setting goals each time kept me going, first one do 3 miles. It took about 6 week until I could run it without stopping. Then the Sheffield half marathon. I have now done the London marathon twice running for Headway. It really clears your head just you your favourite music on and miles infront of you. I think that i need something to concentrate on and take me away from how i feel. We don't have many options and my choice was this or the tablets!!
Sorry for my ramble.
It's a good job this iPhone has spell check.
Yes, walking and music and just being active - much better than sitting and brooding about stuff. It is a lonely place, having a BI but thats why this forum is here. Everyone who posts or visits will completely understand. Good luck to you
If it was just that simple I would be happy all the time I can snap with the smallest thing like a drink been made in wrong mug to missing something I can't go on like this can't wait to start taking this medication Antipsychotic medications quetiapine for anger
I know what you mean about NHS. Weve been waiting since March for specialist brain injury team to start SLT/physio etc. Up to now had a couple of assessments and just received a letter for July dates with 1 hour SLT appointment and another pysio assessment. Been onto them and really let rip - now feel awful cos I hate losing my temper. Ive already got a private SLT coming each week so now looking for private physio as they just havent got resources. Rant over
Keep pushing I know it's hard kath but if you push you will get results I can only say just keep at them as you want the NHS to do there part I am sure I didn't get much help back in the 70s but having the power of the Internet behind me as I check most things if I am not feeling too well and it helps me sort through all the best to you and niki25 and your family Ian x
The doctor I'm with as I stopped going did give me a referral to IAPT and this was far better for me than the doctors. iapt.nhs.uk
Have a look it maybe of use, it took ages and I had to wait but well worth it.
Hi Thrillseeker sorry you're tablets have been changed again.If you're not happy with the Mirtazapene go back to the GP.I was put on them about six weeks ago but had to come off them as they caused me some bad side effects. You must make sure you see your GP regularly to discuss any side effects youre not happy with as they can be sorted.Keep your chin up.
Been to see the GP today I asked about antipsychotic medication and was told that I don't fit the means for that I stated that it's also used for anger and agitation she said hmmm I will look that one up and having been armed with this she said she will talk to one of the senior members of the practice and got a phone call back from her she said I can have Antipsychotic medications called Quetiapine and am to take that along side my other medication
See how things go but go back again if you're still not feeling well.You won't be the only person who keeps going to the doctors -there's people who go everyday so don't feel like you're putting on them!!
Thing is I suffered a massive TBI when I was younger and from growing up from a young age it appears that my bad behaviour went under lucked and now feeling the need to get the help I need.
With me been on such a high does of medication well I was on 200mg of sertraline now not on that at all and am now on 30mg mertazapine and all the problems that I had when I was in my early years and having them come back I don't like the feeling or how I have been to loved ones again just want to be calm and relaxed I am seeing GP again on the 9th July
Its reassuring when you've got a follow up appointment.You'll be that calm person again soon I'm starting tonight on some new epilepsy tablets so I'm looking forward NOT to what side effects might come from those!!
You've made positive steps going to the GP things can only get better
I got to see the head shrink who thinks I have a personality disorder but can't see how that works when I was on 200mg of sertraline and masking the symptoms I may have anger out bursts I don't think I have a personality disorder
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I'm starting tonight on some new epilepsy tablets so I'm looking forward NOT to what side effects might come from those!!
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