Feeling overwhelmed & nervous


I haven't written on here for a very long time, I haven't read any posts on here for a very long time - in fact since 11 March last year! Each time a notification has arrived I have moved the email from my inbox to a folder, my intention when I started was to read them all as & when I felt up to it. Around the same time I stopped going to see the Head Injury team at hospital, I stopped seeing my GP (& taking the medication she'd issued) & shortly afterwards I stopped seeing my counsellor. I also stopped going out alone other than on very rare occasions. I have found comfort in such reclusiveness, I still feel anxious & have panic attacks, but less so as I avoid situations that cause me most anxiety or distress. This has served to allow me the luxury of not having to think about the emotional implications of brain injury, instead I have just got by day by day dealing with the physical & cognitive symptoms (which is more than enough to cope with in my book).

The reason I am analysing this now is because I am due to start seeing the hospital Head Injury team next week & am very nervous about doing so. Aside from the practical issues of having to make my way there alone via buses & taxis (where available), I am worried about seeing the team & other patients. The team are visibly frustrated by me, they view my upset at my injury & subsequent daily symptoms as failure to accept it has happened. I find it incredible they think it strange to be upset by such issues, especially as they now tell me I will likely experience these symptoms for the rest of my life! I find it difficult to cope feeling unwell so much, but nothing is harder to cope with than feeling judged for how I feel (which I have no control over) by those supposed to help me.

8 Replies

  • Why don't u c if someone from Headway can go with u?

  • Sorry to hear your experiencing frustration at others alleged views of your condition/symptoms .

    I would not think they are frustrated with you , I'm or rather used to be s nurse

  • Sorry sent that before I meant to .

  • So what was it that U meant to say in addition to what has already been said ???

  • Hi , only that as a health professional I know we can come across as being very judgemental to patients when in fact the opposite is true .

    I would think the previous advice of taking someone to the rehab with them may be a worthwhile experience . It's very easy to shut yourself away after a serious head trauma , the battle is continuing your life and experiences . To people who haven't had the trauma it's very easy for them to stigmatise those of us that have . The journey of recovery is not an easy one but friends , loved ones , family are there to help and support . What you as a patient see as a detrimental remark , may of been said in all sincerity , and it's the damage they have sustained that alters their perception. Understanding the injury is perhaps the hardest but most rewarding part of the recovery , it gives you a better understanding of how those who haven't had the trauma see you . It's easy to shut yourself away , the hard part is asking for help to continue the journey of recovery .

  • I used to work in a GPs surgery ( as a support worker ) and found that it was easier to help patients who had asked their healthcare professional for help and referral

    So yes your post holds a lot of merit

  • Hello Connie

    I havent been on headway for a while either - saw your post just now and just wanted to say hi really.

    A lot of what you are feeling i feel sometimes and my resolve is usually, like yours - to isolate myself.

    I just keep reminding myself how short and fragile life is - no matter how hard each day , for me at least, should feel like a gift.

    I dont know when your appointment was but am wishing you good luck for it to be a rewarding meeting for you.

    Kindest regards


  • Thank you to everyone who kindly took time to read my post & offer their comments, much appreciated. I appreciate the fact it must be easier to help patients who wish to improve & whose attendance for any therapy is driven by free will & choice. I think there may be a clash between myself & the team as regards perceived injury acceptance. I understand & accept my injury as fact, however, logical & cold hard facts ignore emotions (which are anything but logical) & as a human being I am emotional & react as such. I feel very vulnerable & am scared for my future life, these thoughts upset me & seem to be mistaken for non-acceptance on my part. It would be impossible for me to deny or ignore the injury as I endure the subsequent symptoms 24/7. I hate that some teams rely on their knowledge of theories & text book learning, we don't all fit nicely into those boxes & theories don't have a 'one size fits all' solution.

    I agree to some degree that we must all try to engage in life as it is precious, however, the outside world is a very scary place when seemingly simple or everyday tasks & environments hinder or worsen symptoms. Why lay yourself open to feeling even worse? Isolating myself is also a way of keeping myself safe from practical dangers such as crossing the road. It makes sense to me.

    In brain injury terms I am 'walking wounded', I have my senses & use of all limbs etc etc. Sadly though I also have round the clock spells of being unwell, dizzy spells & a brain that doesn't function well & that I can't rely on or trust. What I miss the most cannot be given back to me & no amount of rehab can replace my peace of mind.


    I do not have contacts at Headway as I haven't been there for years either, I couldn't go because I couldn't attend alone.

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