I'm so sad today

[B_S_A]

I miss being able to relax in my free time. Now all I can think about is whether I'm going to have a seizure/stroke at any point.

It's just so helpless, and I'm sure you can all relate to that.

I'll feel better tomorrow, but for now...

[Nutkin33]

Yes too right! Just try and think positively about relaxing, even if it's for 5 minutes to begin with!

[BaronC]

You have my absolute sympathy and empathy too. It's a dreadful feeling and I feel awful for you.

Try to keep smiling, it's all you can do

VERY best wishes,

Andy

[StrawberryCream]

My thoughts are with you B_S_A. Is it an anniversary of what has happened or just how it is or one of those days/episodes? Reading your profile I realize you are living with a 'ticking bomb' in your head which must be near on impossible not to have in the back of your mind all of the time. You are right in saying that many of us can relate to not being able to relax in our free time, as I sure can and seem to get little pleasure or be able to relax and enjoy what should be 'me time' or do something I enjoy and have 'fun time'. I mostly go through the motions of what needs to be done to try and give my 8 yr old son a good growing up. He does lots of fun things but I have noticed that I don't seem to derive the pleasure from watching/experiencing things with him that I used too before BI. Have been told by Consultants - I have Anhedonia. Best wishes and sincerely hope tomorrow is a better day.

[Hidden]

Hi Ben

Sorry you are feeling so low today. I think most of us understand those awful feelings, so hopefully feeling understood will help. You are not alone. xx

[cat3]

So sorry Ben. Thinking of you xx

[B_S_A]

I'm alright, I just miss feeling safe. Of course, at the time, I didn't really understand that.

[Kirk5w7]

Funny I just said to my husband today, I never have a day when I feel "normal" any more it's so exhausting.

I don't have your problem Ben, so it must be even worse.

I judge the days by what I can cope with! Not a recipe for good living, but I am eternally hopeful, I get glimpses of the old life but then they tantalisingly disappear, they are all too fleet.

I put it down to expecting my brain to run before it can walk and I bombard it with new expectations. I said to my sister that I felt so much better in the rehab unit, but she pointed out that all I was doing there was eating sleeping and learning to walk, now I have to prepare my own meals, deal with running the house, money, cleaning etc, etc no wonder my brain rebels.

I forget at times that I liken my brain to a child's and we wouldn't expect a 5 year old to do all these things, it is re-learning at a fast rate so I should, and so should you, cut yourself some slack and practise that relaxation, stress is the worst thing we all can do to ourselves xxxx. Best wishes Janet xxxx

[Julesgettingthere]

Hi Bas

How are you today ?

Felt so sorry for you yesterday

Regards

Jules

x

[Tortie14]

Hope you do feel better today and you are feeling better today.

[B_S_A]

It's tough some days. But I'm sure you know how that feels.

[sporan]

Hi B_S_A,

I think your feelings are something we all share from time to time.

For me the important thing is realising it will pass at some point and that I will be able to enjoy the things that I am able to do again.

It just gets frustrating at time when others who, whilst meaning and doing their best to help and support you, say the wrong thing because, thankfully for them, have no real understanding of what you're going through or how it feels, which is why I find this site so helpful and supportive because everyone here may not have had the exact cause but will have all experienced similar feelings and frustrations.

Hope you are better today and, if not at the moment, that the sun will soon come out again for you.

[Jaec]

Grieving for the old you is very natural and you must allow yourself to do it sometimes. There will be other times when you feel stronger that you will face your challenges and get satisfaction from overcoming them, but allow yourself to miss the old you too