I was a victim of abuse a few years back, with a big blow to the head, ribs face - well generally all over my body repeated times.
The doctors believe this led to my fibromyalgia, I am on duloxetine and pregablin along with hydrotherapy. (I have been on the waiting list for therapy for almost two years now) I am suffering quite badly with depression, depersonalisation and weight gain (This contributes to the low mood I have) I also have quite frightening flashbacks on a daily basis also memory loss and lack of concentration. I am wondering if anyone else is taking these medications and whether it helps, has led to weight gain and or if you have any strategies to help with this?
I am a full time single mother and university student, also processing a relationship breakdown and living miles away from family support. It really is getting me down - and I feel fibro just isnt known, and I feel like I cant speak to anyone close as they just don't get it.
Any response and or questions are welcomed.
Spreading love and positivity.
Holly x
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hollyfm
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Hi hollyfm , your story is so sad and I'm sorry to hear of the circumstances that have led you here. I don't have experience of either of these meds so I can't help you there but what I will say is, you're doing amazing! A single mum and uni student who has survived an abusive relationship, well done you!
Have you tried some gentle exercise to help with the pain and weight gain? There are so many great videos on YouTube. They're free so you don't have to worry about cost. I also love to get outside every day, for me it's about hearing the birds (tinnitus permitting) feeling the fresh air on my face, noticing nature, enjoying the different seasons and chatting to dog walkers. It really helps to distract me from my pain, cramps, spasms and muscle twitching and it is a sense of achievement each day. I can also walk at my own pace, so on the days when my feet and calves are cramping, I can slow it down and take my time. On a good day, you don't see me for dust 😁
There are lots of lovely folk in this group and I'm sure soon of them will chime in soon.
I am grateful for your lovely kind reply. It has been tough but im thankful for the life we have and remind myself of this everyday. I have recently bought a hula hoop (a childhood piece of equipment that brought me much joy!) Its helping me because although it looks like alot it actually isn't too hard on any main muscles or joints - I would actually recommend it!
I have a little dog so I do happen to do two slow walks a day, and as you said it is helpful and it allows me to open myself up to chat amongst strangers (which has been a struggle of mine!)
I am glad you have found your peace in the horrible pain, it really is an eye opener as I was healthy and productive - I feel lazy and as if I must justify myself for my rest days. I think I might just be having a low time at the moment and hopefully as you say Ill have some feedback and conversation via the site!
Bless you, it sounds like you are doing all the right things. Joy is a wonderful thing and can be found in the most simplest of things. I too struggle to take time for myself, I work 3 days a week. On my days off I ha e to manage chores and family life but I'm getting better at not feeling guilt for taking time out. I've spent so many days under my blanket resting. I once read something that said before you attempt to help others you need to apply your own oxygen mask. This was a real epiphany moment for me and I now know that if I don't take/make that time for myself then my family and loved ones suffer. There is nothing for us to feel guilty for. We never chose Fibro, it chose us. So lovely that you have a dog for company too. I'm a big animal lover ❤
Hello holly, let me warmly welcome you to our group .
I am sorry, you have been through an horrific situation and I'm sure your still dealing with the fall out from it all.
You also have quite a lot more on your plate too.
Have you thought of doing a self referral to something like the talking therapies. You could google it for your area. From personal experience I would recommend giving them a go.
I see you've left your post unlocked to this community only. Due to you sharing things of a personal nature. For privacy reasons you may want to lock it.
If you would like to lock your post this link will show you how 😊
Thank you for your reply, and again the kind words.
Yes I may have taken on a bit too much - but don't we all! I have actually self referred however they have said my case it too complex and needs a specialist, if I weren't juggling Uni costs, child costs etc then I would pay privately, its just not on the cards at the moment.
Thank you for your advice though, I do really appreciate it.
Thank you SO much for that piece of information, I perhaps have some fibro fog this evening lol.
That is so awful. I simply despise the characters who think it's ok to treat others like that. I struggle to imagine how hard it must be for you. It's clear you're doing a fantastic job though. So much on. Its also very sad people near you just dont get it. I have no idea why. But rest assured there ARE people around who absolutely get and sympathise what you're going through. Big soft hugs are on offer even if they have to be from a distance.
Ah, I totally agree. The statistics are horrendous and if im honest, if I hadn't gone through it wouldn't of got me to where I am today, every cloud and all that!I think fibro just hasn't got enough awareness, I mean I still feel in the dark about some things! Thank you so much for your lovely kind words, Im really appreciating the feedback already! Sending you positivity and soft hugs right back!
Hi, Holly, I have found that heat therapy especially hot baths help me with the pain, also aromatherapy has really also helped me relax. I jot down a lot of notes in my phone as I tend to forget things a lot and I have a running battle with IBS but above all my faith in God keeps me unsusually happy whilst believing for better days.
Hi hollyfm , welcome to our lovely forum.I to was a victim of abuse and batterings,
I often wonder if this is how my fibro came about.
The medication you are on is one’s that do gain weight, but you should also be seeing a psychiatrist, or a professor of pain and trauma, as you are having flashbacks, these won’t stop without help, and you will need guidance and support and tools, as to how to deal with them , I put it off for a long time, and ended up being rescued by a trauma team.
The 1st step is to realise you need help, before it gets to the stage where you can cope, and slip into depression.
It’s going to be a long journey, and I wish you all the best.
Sending lots of hugs and love to you, take care. Xx
Well first I must say what a scum he was that attacked you.Nobody needs to be treated like that. I agree with the fibromyalgia but the flash backs are like ptsd too.Yes I agree with Dizzytwo talking about it helps.I was offered this for death if my mum years later but I dismissed it which was daft of me.I didn't realise then an illness can be caused like that.I was offered a physiologist but I thought they were thinking I was mad instead..silly of me.I think you are amazing going to uni n caring for your little family.You need something like going the gym or gentle running 🏃♀️ which is good for mental health. I love being out in outside hiking when my body allows it.It is great for mental health.not that I'm mental 🙃. I write all appointments on my calendar plus bdays ..infact anything that help me remember as I constantly check it everyday plus I carry a small diary with it all in too. I still forget n family goud me at times n laugh as they forget why I do.
I have bever been offered hydrotherapy but I do take pregabalin which did take alot getting used to as it did to space me out .Don't ever forget yo take it.your body will let you know. I was told to omit night n morning doses before a simple hospital procedure which set me off on terrible trauma to my body.didnt give me weight gain thou
I don't know what you are training at uni but wish you well.It shows hiw strong you really are and will not be beaten
Hi holy my fibro was because of abuse from mother all types really my brain and central nervous system manifests pain everywhere from being in continuous flight or fight response I also have bpd there's normally a co morbid condition along side fibromyalgia such as ptsd anxiety depression bi polar you have been through alot and im sorry for that being isolated is not good for u at all please reach out us there any way u can move to be nearer to family or meet like minded folk in your area I take fluoxotine codiene and quitiapine they help me but I do feel really low still and I've put on weight I feel it's due to not being as active since the fibromyalgia I also have had baby but still find it hard to loose weight it could be due to my quitiapine at night ...if its getting you down try to loose it if you can don't beat yourself up ...as for memory and concentration I had to give up driving fibromyalgia has definitely took alot away from me xxxxxx
Hi Holly,Firstly, you are amazingly strong to get to where you are today! That's no mean feat! And you're definitely not alone. I deal with a similar combination. This group is so helpful with this multi-faceted Fibro "malarky" as I call it - to help depersonalise "it" and prevent it defining me.
Your uni might be able to give you an Individual Learning Plan (ILP) because of your circumstances and do ask them about counselling/mentoring through student support if you haven't already. It's useful to ease some pressures and allows you time to relax, be pro-active and "tweak" the Fibro a bit.
Flashbacks can suddenly take you down. Maybe this will help you too. Quickly remind yourself you are safe, here and now. Try focusing on something nearby instead that makes you happy and calm, a colour, the sky, a painting - whatever works for you. Maybe look up PTSD, it has flashback tools - only when you're up for it, while you're waiting. "Traffic lights" helped me with other stuff. Idea being as you feel your mood moving, you focus on being green again before it gets to red again. Kinda grounding you in a good place.
Just an idea, do you have a local Fibro group you can get to? I don't take the meds you described but also find weight unhelpful, so working on that does help. Vitamins and smoothies are a given for me most days and probiotics too. Apparently stress depletes B's etc. Most people are low in D this time of year, fatigue could be low iron, etc etc. Lots of people have Fibro with IBS - and there's more than 1 type, perhaps check it out if you haven't already. This group has just so much warmth, support and advice, I'm sure you'll find loads of strategies, some you may or may not try out or perhaps have already. Best of luck. It's great to see you've already made a successful transaction! 😊💐❤️🦋 Looking forward to seeing more of your posts and good luck with your exams 🤩🍀🙌
Hi, I too had a very long and abusive marriage. After he died, two and a half years ago, I thought I would be OK but that was when all the years of abuse came to the surface, which I had hidden from the outside world and then had to deal with.I tried the nhs therapy but although good at the time I felt rushed to improve too quickly which gave me extra stress.
I then went privately and was treated for psd. This took a year of appointments but it gave me a better life.
Unfortunately it didn't help with the fibro and if anything my symptoms have got worse but maybe my age (78) doesn't help.
I am on a low dose of pregablin and it affected my memory to start with but gradually improved again.
I write everything down daily in a desk diary which helps a lot.
I have a man friend now who I have lunch with on a regular basis which gives me a boost.
I rely on warmth for pain as this seems to be best for me.
I am coping with a flare up at present which includes pain, fatigue, depression, anxiety, itching, nausea etc; I always think it will continue indefinitely but does go eventually.
I do find excercise helps when I feel OK but have to avoid it when in a flare up due to me overdoing it.
We all are struggling and have to carry on the best we can because we all feel alone when it comes to dealing with this horrible illness. Take care.
If you have memory loss you should really be seeing someone .I have cptsd but no memory loss .. only periods of dissociation.. would defo see someone
I can relate to much of your post and it’s nice to come to this community to remind myself I am not alone - and neither are you.
It’s awful that we are subjected to things and then we are the ones who pay for it long after - my abuse was getting on for 17 years ago and I still suffer with PTSD and have only just been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, so I know it’s a long and slow process…
Something I found when I was out on pregabalin was that I gained weight so fast and I was reduced to a numb, unresponsive blob until I came off it and asked for a new medication. If it’s helping you, then by all means don’t change anything, but it might be worth speaking to your GP about perhaps using gabapentin instead? It was fellow pain sufferers on this forum who advised me against pregabalin and coming off it certainly helped me.
Wish you joy, strength, and the power to forgive yourself for taking some down time too - you don’t have to be ok all the time!
I hope your degree is going well! I had to pull out of mine because I was too muddled and in pain 😅
I will also say that something I have learned in all this is that there is no weakness in asking for help, taking time for yourself, or removing things from your commitment load. It is a sign of strength to take steps to do what is right for you.
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