Imposter syndrome?: Hello I was... - Fibromyalgia Acti...

Fibromyalgia Action UK

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Imposter syndrome?

BiscuitsMcGee profile image
26 Replies

Hello

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia last year. Since then I read the questions and answers on here most days. For several months the only symptoms I had were headaches and brain fog type issues. During that time I became convinced I don’t have fibromyalgia and I felt like a fraud. Totally felt like an imposter.

However for the last 2 weeks all the strange symptoms I used to have (mainly leg pains that move around) are back and I think I do have fibromyalgia after all. Perhaps I was lucky for a few months but instead of enjoying some comparatively pain free days I spent my time worrying I wasn’t a real sufferer of fibromyalgia.

Does anyone else have imposter syndrome?

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BiscuitsMcGee profile image
BiscuitsMcGee
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26 Replies
Angiewigy profile image
Angiewigy

Hi thereI’ve just found this website so am very new to it all. I was diagnosed about 3.5 years ago but had struggled to be believed by my GP

I so get the imposter feeling, it’s such a difficult condition to deal with as you can feel so different even throughout a day.

BiscuitsMcGee profile image
BiscuitsMcGee in reply toAngiewigy

Sorry you are in pain and thanks for the reply

Cat00 profile image
Cat00

Everyday I'm in the gym I feel imposter syndrome. I'm actually quite good at HIT classes. Even though I have pretty much most of the fibro symptoms I still find it hard to completely accept and that is in part bc of the level of exercise i can actually do.

BiscuitsMcGee profile image
BiscuitsMcGee in reply toCat00

Thank you! I have a peloton which seems to help so I can understand your exercise quandary.

Cat00 profile image
Cat00 in reply toBiscuitsMcGee

OOoh Peloton aren't you lucky, bet that was great during lockdown!

BiscuitsMcGee profile image
BiscuitsMcGee in reply toCat00

It came in January and has been brilliant. I am very lucky

Cat00 profile image
Cat00 in reply toBiscuitsMcGee

I'd be very tempted, although I do really like leaving my house with all the washing up etc and general child related mess behind! At least the pandemic has been good for some people, Pelotons shares were in trouble before the pandemic hit..

Fra22-57 profile image
Fra22-57

Lots😅 I tell my partner I feel dreadful claiming money.He says I need it as I can’t do this and that etc.Then next day I can hardly put 2 steps in front of me and that’s with his help.Thing is we are not the same each day

BiscuitsMcGee profile image
BiscuitsMcGee in reply toFra22-57

Totally! The pain moving is so bizarre. I get bored of talking about it to my family and think they must be sick of hearing about what hurts where!

saluhouse profile image
saluhouse

Hi BiscuitsMcGee. Love your name!

Please don’t feel like an imposter. It’s not you. It’s fibromyalgia. It’s devious and sneaky - lulls you into a false sense of ‘I’m coping ok’ only to knock you back with a ‘No you are not’ body blow.

Plus pain and stiffness are so unpredictable. Today it might be my neck and shoulder - last week it was my right knee - and who knows what tomorrow might bring?

Then there’s always the internal troubles - my bladder and digestive system seem to take turns in playing up.

I do all I can to remain stable - careful with my diet and don’t drink alcohol or coffee. But - should I cheat ever so slightly - the Fibro knows and causes a flare up.

It’s like living with a puritanical maiden aunt in the back bedroom!

Rant over! Just to say welcome and you are not alone. We all understand.

Best wishes xxx

BiscuitsMcGee profile image
BiscuitsMcGee in reply tosaluhouse

Thank you! I need to learn to embrace the days when I am not in pain rather than torture myself over them

desquinn profile image
desquinnPartnerVolunteerFMAUK Trustee

Let me be a bit self indulgent for a second.....

I have had fibro for 15+ years and I am chair of the national charity. But as a male with lower levels of pain relative to some and able to be quite active then yes impostor syndrome is a frequent visitor. Not helped when other fibromites try to call you out for contributing to the awareness cause eloquently and fully.

But it is in the home when I cannot make dinner, do this or that with my son or go to that family event that impostor syndrome normally turns up in full force. Am I playing on my condition and also do I have fibro or is it something else. These are all thoughts that come to mind.

BUT, I am always in pain, I always have my choices limited every day and always have to make bargains or compromises with myself.

This is why the charity has done a lot more to widen the view of what fibro is and who fibro affects. The sterotypical 40 year old+ female that got diagnosed with fibro with mental health issues and heads towards being wheelchair or bedbound is no longer the norm. Chronic or persistent pain is pain at any intensity that does not have an obvious cause and persists for longer than 3 months. So your 15 year doing mocks falling down from exhaustion and pain has fibro just as much as I do and as much as the stereotypical 40 year old woman.

Diagnostic criteria has improved as well as awareness and people within our community, within our family and within the wider population need to be made aware of this/ #bemorefibroaware.

BiscuitsMcGee profile image
BiscuitsMcGee in reply todesquinn

Thank you for that. It is a spectrum I guess. I sometimes wonder maybe I have a low pain threshold, I would like my husband to feel what I am feeling for 5 mins, so he can tell me if I am a wuss!

Cat00 profile image
Cat00 in reply toBiscuitsMcGee

Chronic pain lowers your pain threshold. An overexcited brain feels more, low mood also opens up pain pathways so more pain related information can move around the brain, apparently.

damag profile image
damag in reply todesquinn

Hi,, I love your name Fibromites..lol gosh i can relate to you description of the frustrating fibro....... I cannot remember when I was pain free..... isnt that crazy..... I get up and literally mind over matter push myself to get on with the day... I convince myself at times I am being punished for my sins... but then I tell myself.. stop moaning it isnt life threatening.....and this goes on every day.😀 until I am boring myself. I totally get where you and all you other people are coming from .. but there doesnt seem to be any long term conclusion does there?

Makie-Uppie profile image
Makie-Uppie

I spent so much time being disbelieved by others I did come to the conclusion perhaps it was all in my head and to an extent still do. Lst night my insides poured out of me, this morning I have a blurred eye and one foot is like a concrete block has been dropped on it whilst the other is being electro tortured. Nuts!

BiscuitsMcGee profile image
BiscuitsMcGee in reply toMakie-Uppie

That’s the thing isn’t it? So unpredictable and frankly weird. I appreciate your reply and hope you have a decent day. Thank you

LoneEra profile image
LoneEra

It’s a disease that often leaves us thinking we’re too healthy to be sick. But many days it’s the opposite and we’re too sick to be healthy.

It doesn’t help that we often spend our time around others pretending to be fine - in this situation we are definitely an imposter!

For me personally, it’s a little easier because I have some kind of “reason” for my fibro - which is my rheumatoid arthritis. I won’t bore you with the science 🙂 It must be a lot harder when you don’t have anything to pin the disease on.

What’s also hard, as others have said is the fluctuating nature of the disease. And how far you’re able to push yourself. It can be confusing for everyone, especially yourself!

Acceptance is a very difficult state to reach with an invisible and unpredictable illness. This link has a few tips if you’re interested: google.co.uk/amp/s/www.psyc...

Best wishes x

Sally444 profile image
Sally444

Hi. I'm so glad you asked this question as I was feeling exactly the same today. I was thinking....hang on, only my back hurts today, which is normal....where has my foot pain and knee pain and shoulder pain gone.......am I making it all up??! I'm still in the process of being diagnosed but my doctor (who is great) has been trying to tell me for years that I could have fibromyalgia and I didn't really believe it as I thought I was just being weak and that it would go away. I'm a very determined person and finally had to admit to it two months ago when I was in tears to NHS 111 wondering why everything hurt! Your post has made me feel better because I was thinking I might have to leave this lovely group as I felt bad about being on it. So thank you. :-)

LoneEra profile image
LoneEra in reply toSally444

You should never feel bad for not being as sick as someone else! And it’s good for us to hear about people from across the fibro spectrum.

There is a massive sliding scale of fibro. And each notch has its difficulties. Those at the less severe end often wonder whether they’re really sick. Those at the really sick end have all kinds of challenges - and often find it hard to identify with those who don’t suffer so badly. And those in the middle never know what’s coming from one day to the next!

But we have one aim in common: to make living with fibromyalgia easier 💗

Sally444 profile image
Sally444 in reply toLoneEra

Hi LoneEra. Thank you so much. I do have some really bad days and it can be really sudden. One minute I seem ok then the next I have intense pain from doing absolutely nothing. I'm lucky to have a great doctor as well and feel so sad for those that don't. I'm just hoping that more people learn about it over time so that everyone who is in pain is believed and not made to feel like they're making it up because it really can be very hard and can make you feel totally miserable, even when you have good support from family and friends. I'm so glad I found this group. :-)

nixout profile image
nixout

Thank you for your post. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia about 8 years ago and today is the first time I looked up a support group. The first post I saw was yours and it gave a name to the feeling I always have but couldn't explain. The ongoing denial and self blame I have over my diagnosis is now getting too much to handle alone. I'm sorry you are in pain, but your ability to reach out has touched someone today and it is much appreciated.

BiscuitsMcGee profile image
BiscuitsMcGee in reply tonixout

Very glad my thoughts helped.

Themanwithnoname profile image
Themanwithnoname

Im more of the other way round thinking there is more wrong with me than just fibro. Always in pain and always not far away from flaring up. Summer is my best time and i think the weather helps. Been diagnosed with other minor stuff like RSI and Rotator cuff injury plus degenarative disc. My worst pain is brought on by being on the computer un bearable leg pain RSI and the fibro. Trouble is everything is online now and it's border line addictive to have a look. Sad really but to compensate i wont have a smart phone as my hands would be in bits.

Until i have a funny turn or think something is serious im putting all my weird and not so wonderful symptoms down to fibro. Can tell mother who has arthritus and kibbles about does not think my pain is so bad as im not limping about even though i say my leg is killing from sitting. Frustrating but i tell her i would sooner be layed up on diazapan struggling to pull my pants up than the wide spread pain fibro causes me. Had both and i no which i find easier even though the pain can be more intense. Weird i no and cant explain why.

Sorry for waffling on

😀.

BiscuitsMcGee profile image
BiscuitsMcGee in reply toThemanwithnoname

Sorry it has taken me so long to reply. I really appreciated your message, it is good to hear about all experiences of fibromyalgia. Hope you have a decent day today.

JayCeon profile image
JayCeon

Yep, as you are saying: "Doubting it" is one of the symptoms of fibro ;-)

When people put blame on docs & therapists, I answer: How come? - We even have difficulty understanding and believing it ourselves.

I play table tennis almost every day. Sometimes I don't need to rest after, sometimes I need 3 hours, sometimes I need a cold shower. Gym might be OK, but I'm glad to get the 7' scientific workout done every day, since taking GABA. Yet I can only work 25% of what I was able to 2 years ago.

Yesterday I carried pretty heavy stuff alone, others there cdnt. For 30 minutes. People said: Ah, you seem much better at the moment? My wife told them: That's deceptive! An hour later she saw the look in my face and sent me home.

Symptoms: * get progressively worse * Me: Oh thank God, I thought I was faking this...

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