Telling work I’m resigning

I have been signed off of work because of fibromyalgia and mental health. This is my third week off and I’m still not feeling 100%. I’m thinking of telling work I’m not coming back because it’s just a horrible place to work and it’s constant stress. I feel like I need to take some time out to heal and try to feel more like me again. I’m so burnt out and I have nothing left to give. How do I tell work? And why do I feel so guilty about having to give it up for my health? X

[Dinkie]

Please think really carefully before resigning unless you can afford to. Resigning will probably reduce your entitlement to benefits. Have your employers offered an appointment with occupational health? Have they put any reasonable adjustments in place to enable you to stay in employment. All these avenues need exploring first.

I resisted an occupational health assessment but have to say it was a really positive experience and several years later I am still employed. The appointment was done in the workplace although it can be done anywhere. They listened and saw the workplace and how things worked/didn't work for me. They then make a report which you can ask to see before it is sent to your employer so that you have the chance to rectify any mistakes etc. I reduced my hours slightly, got a ramp installed, handrails, new chair, more frequent breaks if I needed, modified uniform, car parking space nearer the door. I do more hours during summer as I can't drive in the dark so winter is difficult for me. I appreciate not all companies are in a position to make the adjustments but you are entitled to have occupational health involved to help you stay in employment.

Three weeks isn't long off work, please do not do anything you may later regret.

[Hidden in reply to Dinkie]

I already do the most minimum hours possible. The place is just full of stress and anger. I’ve been debating it for a while and my body and mind just cannot take it anymore. I’ve been bedbound for the past few weeks. My body is just so exhausted from it

[Hidden]

Thank you for your reply. I’m already doing a handful of hours a week. I have an appointment with the GP tomorrow so I shall wait to see what he thinks. I hope you find a way to manage with work x

[LoneEra]

I feel like the job itself is contributing to your ill health. You sound like you really loathe the place and it’s toxic for you.

If you can afford to leave, just do that! Don’t prolong the agony. Hand in your notice and be done with it.

If, however, as others have suggested, you will need to rely on benefits and so on, then I would suggest going through the motions as Dinkie has said.

But I don’t think that place sounds like it’s good for you. I’ve felt like that before and once I handed my notice in it was a weight lifted off my shoulders.

Good luck x

[Hidden in reply to LoneEra]

Thank you so much! I don’t feel like it’s a rash decision, the whole time I’ve been there it’s just been awful. Feel like I need time to gather myself back up again and it will be a relief getting away from that place x

[LoneEra in reply to Hidden]

Life is too short ❤️ If you don’t need to be there, don’t be there! Look after yourself and keep us posted x

[Hazel_Angelstar Administrator FMA UK Staff]

Like others have said, resigning may affect your ability to claim benefits - and it may be better for you to hand in sick notes and allow your employer's to pay you off.

You can read our employers booklets at fmauk.org/publications and if you need information on benefits you can contact our benefits team on 0300 999 0055(Mon, Wed, Fri 10.00-12.00) or email [e-mail]

[samsara70]

I know exactly how you feel Lion47. I returned to work on the 8th Feb after being off since November with Fibromyalgia, Depression, Stress at work, it has not changed I'm completely burnt out again, reduced my days to 3 per week but work won't let me spread over week and I'm struggling. No return to work interview or a conversation to ask how I am. Feel place is toxic to my health and not sure how much longer I can go on like this.

[LoneEra in reply to samsara70]

Toxic is the word. I think people who haven’t worked in a properly damaging workplace before find it hard to understand. But it’s exactly like being in a toxic relationship. And staying there even a minute longer can feel impossible. Really hope you can find a solution somehow x

[Hidden in reply to LoneEra]

That’s it, it can be hard to understand how cruel and demanding people can be in the work place, thank you so much for understanding, I feel less alone now x

[Kokacola]

Hi I been off from work more than a year now I been paid the first 28 weeks an then my entitlement holidays and bank holidays , I will have an Occupational health appointment soon , just Talk to your GP for the sick notes before made a decision. All my best

[Hidden in reply to Kokacola]

Did you go on statuary sick pay? I will talk to him and see what he says, I hope your occupational health appointment goes well

[Kokacola in reply to Kokacola]

Hi !! Yes I got Statutory Sick pay , You can get SSP for up to 28 weeks in one sickness episode. If you are still sick at the end of 28 weeks, you may be able to transfer to Employment and Support Allowance (ESA). SSP also stops if your job is terminated whilst you are off sick.

[Bramble71]

If you are sure that you can manage financially, and that the workplace is affecting your health, then resigning may be the best thing; it certainly was for me.

You don't have to give them a reason for your resignation but if you feel you must, you could just say it's for health reasons. And please don't feel guilty about it; they wouldn't feel guilty if they had to let you go.

My last workplace would like people to think they were 'Disability Confident' but, in reality they were cold, cruel, always trying to catch me out etc. This was an office that operated solely for the benefit of a group of disabled disabled but had no idea what disability can be like. I felt no guilt in leaving at all!

[Hidden in reply to Bramble71]

I am still living at home so finances shouldn’t be too bad. I’m applying for pip and having a work capability assessment. It’s just such a toxic environment and a physically demanding job on top of that.

I don’t think there are many work places that actually are disability confident.

[Bramble71 in reply to Hidden]

I reckon you're right, Lion47. Best wishes with whatever you decide.

[Midori]

Lion, Are you in UK?

If you are Do Not resign or you will be unable to claim Unemployment. They will say you made yourself intentionally workless.

There are legal mechanisms in place to protect those on sick leave, and your employer needs to jump through these hoops or they can be taken to a Workplace Tribunal for wrongful dismissal.

I don't know how it works in the USA though.

Cheers, Midori

[Hidden in reply to Midori]

Hi, I am in the U.K. I had a talk with a work coach from UC and she said to put my health first. Going to talk to the GP and see what happens, but I can’t see myself going back either way