Trapped wind!!'

Today I am suffering badly with trapped wind( TMI, I hear you cry!!) in fact Richard Branson has telephoned me twice wanting me to fire up two of his hot air balloons when I' m ready!!

I thought I would look on the Internet for help, I did haven't good laugh at one option, yoga , lay on the bed and raise your knee up gradually to you forehead, good god I am so physically knackered trying to bend my legs is a challenge,,!!

In fact thinking about it when I was fit and healthy I don't think I could' ve done that!!!

Oh sod it , I think I shall just take a teaspoon of bicarbonate of soda in a small amount of water, I am just about physically able to do that!

I am then going to lay out on a lounger outside, if you watch then News tonight and see a hot air balloon in the shape of a woman in a black top and blue skirt floating around as a ufo will one of you nice folks phone the news station in York and explain it is me!! Thanks!!

13 Replies

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  • I thought it was more windy out today! Just hope the wind is in the right direction we will have to shut all windows and doors. ha ha! Gentle puffs Joolz.x

  • Tie a clothes line to your foot in case you drift too far xx

  • you did make me giggle! I agree with lou, tie yourself to something! heeee heeee x

  • You made me laugh out lound. I have just eaten a Chinese takeaway and I reckon that will be me in about an hour's time.x

  • Well bicarb helped a bit , still feeling like a puffa fish though!, I told my fella about the helpful suggestion of tying me to the washing line, but for some reason he says he will only help if he can tie me tightly by the neck!!, ( god I thought, really feeling the love!!)

    I do remember years ago down south when I lived out in the sticks , sheep used to eat too much clover and they would blow up like footballs and fall over and the only way to rectify it was for the vet or farmer to release the air by puncturing a small hole in a certain area in the sheeps side, I watched my friends dad who was a farmer do this,it doesn't hurt the sheep it just gets rid of all the wind that bloats them up ,then they get up and trot off, and don't seem bother at all,(this is true by the way in case you think I have lost my marbles!)

    well if needs must I shall be calling the vet for the procedure myself!! (trouble is it will be me who gets "fleeced" (sorry about that pun ,but able to resist!) as vets will charge more for weekend work!

    it hasn't put me off my strawberries and cream I am having shortly,who knows that might shift things around a bit!!!

    thanks for all your helpful suggestions xxx

  • Charcoal tablets. Work a treat!

  • Peppermint tea, peppermint oil capsules from chemist or health food store. Avoid too much fibre?

  • Gently message your stomach kinda push down on it. Here we call it Gas x works great for me. Also for some reason if you will drink a carbonated drink really fast it releases it for me! I will sometimes lay on my bed with pillows under my stomach to the point my booty is in the air and my head is on the mattress. That's when everyone has to leave the house!!!! I do believe I have blown the roof off a few times!!! He he he πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜œπŸ˜œπŸ˜šπŸ˜šπŸ˜›πŸ˜›πŸ˜ˆπŸ˜ˆπŸ˜ˆπŸ˜ˆπŸ˜ˆπŸ˜ˆπŸ˜ˆ

  • I also have a ems unit and that helps getting things to moving!

  • Cheers one and all for helpful suggestions, but it has been released!! I had a hot bath and that seems to release it( only thing now is I am scared to face my neighbours I case they think I have a jacuzzi!! ( I have some charcoal tabs , I forgot I had them, so I will have them on standby for next time!!)

  • Sorry but that did give me a giggle! I sincerely hope that the issue has now been resolved? I was wondering if you have ever tried any of the over the counter medications such as Windeeze? There are plenty around these days, or is that plenty of windy people?

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken x

  • Possibly IBS...try Buscopan tablets, they're wonderful!!! :)

  • Sounds like IBS, I have that and the it's one of the reasons my curtains have tie backs, my families hair looks like it's brushed to one side, it's not, it's just the breeze.

    I take omeprazole and colofac, on prescription.

    Other than that...

    🎢 the answer my friend, is blowin in the wind...🎢

    πŸ˜„ x

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