Warning this post contains moaning! - Fibromyalgia Acti...

Fibromyalgia Action UK

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Warning this post contains moaning!


So yesterday my osteopath did some acupuncture on my shoulder after the usual manipulation and such.. I'm not expecting instant results but I think it feels less aggravated today.

My moan is, that I've done a few everyday tasks today, taking care of my girls, bit of grocery shopping, some washing and collected a parcel... Now I'm grumpy, aching and exhausted.. I've promised my girls we'll bake and decorate gingerbread men, kind of to make up for the fact that I've been so rubbish lately.. The thought of it is daunting.

My girls are 5 and nearly 4.. Like chalk and cheese... And they LOVE to bicker with each other..

What should be a fun session just makes me think of loud noise (which I can't tolerate when I'm low), arguments, moaning, pushing of boundaries and a hell of a lot of clearing up afterwards.. My moods and aches and generally my frame of mind often determines how well or not my girls behave and I don't want to ruin another passing moment with the two people in the world I cherish the most...

Does anyone have any tips for those unavoidable challenges I'm about to face.. A thought that can carry me through enjoying everyday tasks instead of these negative unproductive feelings.. Negativity seems to be the master here. It ruins me and I ruin everything else..

8 Replies

When my two were younger, my Daughter asked me why I wore make up. I told her it was to look pretty and she was happy with the answer, when in truth I wore the make up as a mask - painting on my smile with my lipstick, in order to hide the depression and to try and ignore and overcome it. Plus of course, I didn't want them to see how sad and in pain I was. Take a deep breath, remind yourself that you will be able to have some, 'you', time, time to be yourself later when they have worn themselves out and are in bed. Also, remind yourself that time goes by so damn fast - and one day without realising time slipping away, you could be looking at a 19 year old Daughter who is back at home after dropping out of uni and is living her own life without you in it, resenting being back at home and doing her own washing etc and not wanting to help around the house, and a nearly 16 year old Son who lives in his bedroom on his laptop all night, sleeps all day all weekend, is hell to wake up for school or to get to do his homework, who keeps telling you to shut up and that he hates you, plus loves to hate his sister and continually bickers with her, and she, of course, just has to bite back......

So, yes, it's going to be loud, it's going to be messy, but it's also going to be fun. Take a deep breath, think of that quiet moment when they're in bed, glass of your favourite drink, long soak in the bath or just sitting quietly on your own, and go and make some memories. Good luck and gentle hugs, Julie xxxxx

BlueMermaid3 in reply to Julie63

Hi Julie

I had to giggle at your post 😊. My two are similiar ages. I sometimes wonder if I live in the same house as them 😳. Like your son, mine sleeps all day (when he's not at college) and is at this precise moment making his lunch! (Coming up to 4pm). They stay in their rooms until they smell dinner cooking and then squabble over the slightest thing.

I feel your pain 😄


Lu xx

Hi Sibbs

One thing that sprang to mind is to perhaps buy some cookie mix. All you have to do is chuck it all in a bowl, mix and put on a baking tray.

You've probably already thought of this, but if not, I find it a nice way to spend some time with my daughter without too much washing up afterwards.

I then leave my children (they're older than yours) to squabble over who had the last one 😳

I'm not the best person to ask about positivity 😁 but I'm sure my other Fibro friends will come up with something to help.

Hope you enjoy the weekend


Hidden in reply to BlueMermaid3

Thanks blue x

I genuinely and sincerely hope that it went okay for you? Kids can be a handful but we love them with all of our heart.

All my hopes and dreams for you


Hidden in reply to TheAuthor

Thanks ken


Hi I know how hard it is to paint on the smile and get through what should be fun events, have been doing it for years at home and at work. But what about a compromise, use a cookie mix (as someone else suggested) AND tell your girls that after the cooking session they can 'help' you clean up (or leave the clean up till you have rested a bit) and then you can all sit down and watch a dvd/film or favourite programme. That may give you a little bit of recovery time, before you start again, as I am sure you will have too LOL.

And as others have said they will only be young once and it goes surprisingly quickly, I now have my very grown up sons back at home, one married with wife and daughter in tow (whilst they save for a home of their own) and other in and out with his girlfriend. People think this makes life easier as more adults less housework for me, that is so not the case, but I have learnt to ignore the constant sink of washing up and washing machine going constantly. Only do what I can when I feel up to it (still working full time). I know eventually the hoovering and other stuff will be done by them. Most days get home too tired to care, but when my 4 year old grand daughter comes to me and hands me a chocolate cupcake and says we made cupcakes and I put the butterfly and stars on for you, that makes me smile, no matter how much pain I am in or how exhausted I am, (I have 6 grandchildren and although spending time with them can leave me totally drained it is also amazing and I do still manage to babysit all).

Good luck and please pace yourself well.

Hidden in reply to FFC1

Thank you for your encouragement :) x

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