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Fibromyalgia Action UK
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Don't know what to do with my self

I don't know what to do with my self or where to put my self, I am struggling to do simpleist of things. I have a little one to look after and lifting her moving around picking things up from the floor even brushing my hair is hard work. I struggling to cut my meat to day at dinner. My writs and finggers and ankles. just feels like I sprained them. I had a strange feeling like I am wet but I am bone dry. Muscles hurt burn and even my neck and shoulders need to be surported. Other wise it hurts . do you work through the pain and get on with it . or do you rest up? The doc will not give me any pain killers well strong ones any way. I feel like crying it hurts so much. I have to nap more just of late. Sigh feel low and fed up with life at the min. Its just I remember what it was like before I was in intensive care for 5 months in a coma. Dew to aspration in my lung's . after a night out drinking they said I had my drinks spiked. About two years ago. I just pray Monday I feel better. As then I am on my own with a 19 month old baby. Sigh :'(

10 Replies

All else aside have you ever been offered trauma counselling I think it's vital after all you went through, also learn the art of pacing, it's not just a word, more a way of life for many of us. Someone will explain it I'm sure( got an addled brain today) hope you find some relief soon. Lou xx


Tough time for you and particularly with a toddler to care for, exhausting I know because you need so much energy! Re pain relief, could you see another GP for better support? Fibro I feel is somewhat of an enigma. We have many things in common on this site but also individually have our own unique presentations. Do you have enough support from family and friends? Hope it gets better for you


I don't have any family to help me. As the friends I have hear are new ones. I don't seem to know them well enough to ask. As I only been in coventry for two years. Sigh, I moved hear to be with my boyfriend. His family is working and his dad is not a well man . sigh!


Hi goodatheart. That is an outrageous experience you had. I jut makes me so angry to know that you spent so much time in intensive care, because of some thoughtless, stupid act of somene else. Do you think therapy might help? Would it be considered a kind of PTSD that you have gone through?

I agree with both of the posts above. Don't you have pain clinics you can be referred t? A GP that won't help with your pain is a dope IMO. You are not getting enough, but I am not a doctor so remember that. You would probably have less exhaustion if your body didn't struggle to fight the pain.

Are you sleeping enough at night? That is when our bodies need it the most. Good sleep often evades FM sufferers but we try to get it.

You probably do need to rest up as much as you can and find out what your limits are so you don't overextend. Skip some of the housework. Only do what needs to be done. Like dusting can wait. Mopping the floors. Who cares if it goes a month or two? I don't.

Please get more help than what your current doctor is offering you! At least that is my suggestion. Remember, we are not medical people here and don't know all your history and circumstances, but to me, it still sounds as if you need mre care, more personalized care. If I were you, I would fight the good fight to get it. Are their social services who could help you with advocate services? If you don't know what that is, it means someone - or yourself - advocates your situation and "demands" adequate attention to your needs.

I hope the future finds you feeling a lot better and less depressed very, very soon.


Loads of sympathy. Wish I could help. A toddler is hard work. It's ok to move some things down the priority list. You can't clock off with a little one but you're entitled to have some time to yourself. Don't go round tidying the house when she's asleep, take the opportunity to rest yourself. You're no good to anyone if you drive yourself daft. And I cant help but agree about being very wary of asking acquaintances you don't know very well. Fair weather friends can be very dangerous when the novelty wears off.

I'm with Clare, there's lots that's unimportant. Have ready meals once in a while if it takes off a bit of pressure, just ensure you're getting good nutrition too. Hoovering may be important with a little one but dusting sure isn't. And no one will think you're a bad mother if baby is well and happy.

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Stronger pain killers are not the answer but you do need some support - have you been to a pain clinic, learnt about pacing and got some counselling.

I moved to a new country 6 months ago and my new friends have been very supportive over my own angst so just because a friend is new does not mean they won't be supportive, if they are not then they would not have lasted as a friend.

Remember you have to look after yourself so you can look after your little one.

Gentle hugs

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Hi good heart I have just completed a pain clinic and I went in thinking they would give me pain killers and I be back to my old self , well it was a 7 weeks course and I must admit for the first 2 weeks I was in shock as I wondered what they were on about I worked myself into the ground the last 4 years a kept going ,my trigger was a dental appointment and I had bacteria in my blood stream and was rushed into hospital just in time , so anyway the clinic week 3 I finally got it everybody else there were to scared to do anything as it hurt, me I wanted to move a mountain :d 52 but my head tells me I am 18 and I can still do everything plus some ,I tjought I was pacing my self ,well I wasnt , when everybody else committed themselves with some pushing to achieve a activity for the week like going to walk to the end of the rd ,I would set myself the task of walking the dogs round the park and do some gardening as well as keeping the house a pristine environment , well I then had a major flare and missed a week . What it taught me was I can do one physical task per day , then it's resting if the Hoover only gets used 2 time a week instead of 2 times a day (I have dogs ) it means I can take the dogs out 1 time a week ,it means I can do the shopping 1 time a week ,my spoons are 7 spoons over 7 days I can potter about but I rest, nothing to strenuous , if you have a little one ,you must put her and yourself first ,if I was you if you have someone with you till Monday ask them to leave you rest tomorrow stay in bed if you can and rest , you are obviously haveing a flare ,have they tested you for other auto immune things .

What I have learned is that I was boom and bust ,my body has basicaly retired itself so my pain receptacle have become more acute ,as has the fatigue ,I will never be as I was but I will get back to about 30% of what I was if I stop pushing myself ,if I take the pain meds they knock me out then I don't function ,if I get up feed the dogs and make a coffee I rest for an hour ,then I get dressed , I will do one job upstairs , then I come down and tidy the kitchen which isn't much ,then I sit again , then i will do another job what I call my physical job ,then I sleep for an hour then it's tea ,that's my day ,I try to do a mental job i.e paper work or sketch or if my hands work sew it depends but this has taken me since jan to work out ,if I drive I concider that a mental task as of the concentration but I find I can manage a 45 min drive max now ,i suppose I am trying to say if I do more than that in a day I spend a week on sofa unable to do anything , I don't know if this helps but ask your gp about a pain clinic they will work if you have an open mind , ask rhummie about auto imunie test see if there's anything else going on my gp tells me to be kind and gentle with myself and to listen to my body , take care I hope I have helped a bit ,take care xx



Hi goodatheart

I am so sorry to read to read that you are struggling so much and in so much pain, and I genuinely hope that you can find some resolution and relief to these issues. I was wondering if you had considered contacting social services and asking for help? As this is what they are there for? They may be able to offer you some home help or making somebody available to take you out? It is always worth a try?

I want to wish you all the best of luck.

All my hopes and dreams for you

Ken x


I am totally exhausted and the moment my partners just take my little girl out so I can have a rest this morning.I do have input from social services that you give me one morning and one afternoon of rest by putting Lucy into nursery. I will be booking myself into the GPS. On Monday to ask if they can refer me to a pain clinic. I've also found a support group so on tuesday will be my frist time. Also been put on to a course on fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. So I guess they will give me the tools and understanding. Its just that it in November the course starts. so I am just left to deal with everything. So when they told me I was dinosed with fibro and chronic fatiguefatigue. They gave me a leaflet to read. Looked on the net too. Found this great group and it helps to know I am not alone. Also you all can give me tips on how to look after my self. thank you for all your help and support it really means a lot to me. {{{{{{{hugs }}}}}}}}


Dear Goodarheart,

Hugs to you for reaching out. I do have a few suggestions for you. I have several pain issues, including my fibromyalgia. I watched my twin grandsons daily from 1yr old until they were in 1st grade. I had to ADAPT just about everything we did together! For example, I couldn't lift either of them, let alone both. So, nap times were not in their cribs. Instead, they would semi-climb while I pulled them up by britches onto the sofa. Then they slid into their playpens for their bottle. I pushed playpen away from couch & there they napped. They thought it was a great game! When they could stand & take steps they held my hand & walked to/from everywhere in the house. It was slower but they knew I couldn't pick them up & the walked well very early. We ate & played games on a sheet on tge floor. Easier to wash a few sheets each week, vs lifting them on/off chairs, couches etc. If I were exhausted, we had easy days where I rested on sofa mid-day while the watched a Disney movie.

I am certain that you can be equally creative in adjusting you 16 month old to doing things in a way that is easier for you. Just make a game of it & consider your body's needs for everything you do.

I hope the "make adjustments" suggestion is of sine help to you, even if occasionally.

Good luck & God Bless!


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