In a galaxy not too far away and not too far into the future the evil DWP banished all fibromites to a planet to get them out of the way, tidy up the jobseekers list and save money
Will we take this Lying down.... Well Moffy will given the chance, but the rest of us need to band together to defeat the evil Darth DWP and blow up the Death Star they occupy sorting out who will be allowed to occupy planet earth. So please join us in our quest to get back to Earth and claim our rightful benefits......
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Obviously Darth DWP has never suffered from chostochondritis ...as I defy anyone to wear a bra when it flares up
gggggggglllllllllllrrrrrrrrrrr...((((soz I was bustin'))))gggggggrrrrrlllllllll (((Chewie here... has anyone seen my chew toy?)))).....bllllllllllluuuuuuuuuurrrrrggggghhhh
.............found one of S. T. Moff's scones and bashing the heck out of falcons engine bits GGGGLLLLLUUUUURRRRPPPP
....chewie gets a 'strong like bull' cloth and some flash to wipe front seat feeling quiet ashamed.... too much fizzy pop at breakie this morning soz....
............goes off sulking........WHERE IS MY TEDDY.......Blubber blubber.....
......finds a furry wampa and starts playing basket ball with it....
Problem found I have ... R2D2 has a faulty chip instead of showing Princess Leia distress call he is showing every film he has ever seen ... Looks hopefully for the showing of the Harry potter series.....
I have an incoming message from Darth DWP ... It say is saying ..... Look you have no father therefore you do not exist and cannot claim any benefits...........!!!!!!!!!!
S T moffy get your hand up that big end and get it going we need to attack .......
...............hears his doggy whistle and runs back to falcon......
......rushes into cock pit, sits down but slides off seat (still wet and smells of tinkle and flash) ....
...picks up a signal from Lando Calrissian.....
....Invite for tea at Cloud City with Jabba, bring jam.....
......Gggggggggrrrrrr don't trust that Lando.....Ggggggrrrrr
Keeps bashin thingy bob to get it working......bash bash bash......
............GGGGGOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUTTTTT......
Falcon fixed, it was half eaten chip butty stuck in the works....
BLLLLUUURRRRRRRPPPP... Falcon ready for warp speed S. T Moffy......
.....looks round....blows off fluff and scoffs butty..... BBBBLLLUUURRRPPP....
I have fixed my big end! Not that my big end is all that big, you understand - it's just that Yoda is jealous 'cos she has to wear a dressing gown four sizes too big!
Hello -- things are hotting up! R2D2 and C3PO are fighting with DWP16 ¾ (that's Darth DWP's personal 'droid). I wonder who will win?
Shoves Chewie out of the way and sits in driving seat - it's still damp!
.......licks S. T. Moffys face begs to go on a detour for butty..... has got the taste for them since found half eaten one in the gubbing....GGGGGGRRRRRREEEEEEEEETTTTTT
....... sensing.....vibes in the force.....message coming throu from Obi-Wan-Ketchup....
..........don't be lured by butty......it's a trap.......
....dizzy from the vibes...trys to shake of growlin hunger pangs for buttys....
.....Mmmmmmm slurp slurp......BUTTIES..........
.....Head spins round WOHOOO funky Man...
picks up another vibe from Obi-Wan_Ketchup......
....the forms are strong.......so misleading..... try and get to Rebel Planet where lies a truly powerful pen saber like thingy.... it will help in combating the Evil Darth's DWP forms.....errr I mean force.....
... twists head back in place and adjusts flea collar....BLLLLLOOOOORRRRWWWW
Lord knows where the DWP Death Star is meant to be - it works by stealth!
I have just received intelligence from an undercover agent on the Death Star - the DWP drones have run out of Form no. 568,3006.7994,3006,1122,9642 6999000000B/61234/ab/S section 4796subsection 2.(quadruplicate)
They are in a state of panic at running out of this essential resource, should we attack while they are in a weakened state?
Levitates stapler send communication we shall that missing form we to ransom shall hold ..until fibromites given their ESA support group they are ...
Geez why did I choose to be Yoda its hard enough to speak English normally......
I am Daft Ada and I will defend you all! Pass me my light sabre, non working, as I can't afford the electric bill and it doesn't run on batteries.
Fear not daft Ada.... My force strong is ..also I electric wizard am... Quickly rigs Daft Ada's light sabre up to DWPs electric supply ... Defend us strongly you will ... Of that sure I am. Bows head respectfully and trips over dressing gown ....
Ggggggggaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh got space nabbed by RSPC lucky R2D2 came by and picked the lock....PHEW!!!!
.......Shattered na..... turns three times on the spot and snuggles into dog basket...
While travelling across the galaxy today, I noticed a new ATOS medical centre on Mars, there was no docking station access for space craft, so I had to abort the mission. That is what I put in my appeal to the intergalactic council, for failing to attend. R2D2 is helping me with my appeal, he says bleep bleep, whirr, bleeps the lot of them, CP30 translates for R2D2 "Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating a DWP asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1" So my chances of winning on appeal are pretty good, as long as I can get a wookie to sign a letter, to confirm my powers of levitation are not what they used to be, and my navigational equipment is shot to pieces from a previous encounter with the darkside.
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