first appt at clinic tomorrow, nervous/excited/arrrgging

[pollypopps]

hello

After going around the houses with GP's and another Clinic we FINALLY, tomorrow, have an appointment at a clinic I hoping we have our treatment at.

As we are looking at egg donation with a known donor (my sis) I had been looking abroad at Russia and Greece, due to cost, and was finding the whole process very daunting. How do you decide, on top of ALL the other emotions and painful things your going through!!!

Anyway I went to an open day at Create and their lower drug use ethos caught my attention, especially as there is nothing wrong with my sister so why should I ask her to pump herself full of drugs?? It was such a relief to decide on somewhere and it won't cost that much more than Russia, probably the same after considering flights etc.

So that's where I'm at. Another scan and consultation tomorrow morning, more cash, but they're scan sounds very in depth and the consultant does it and then talks to you about it, makes sense to me. As they are more open to treating people with low AMH high FSH I'm still hoping they may say "oh they've all got it wrong, you can use your own eggs lady". Mmm anyway I'm aware they probably won't, but worried I'm going to feel like I did the first time I was rudely told I couldn't have my own 'egg' children!! Devastated!

Anyone got any tips, been to Create, going mad like me??

We also need a few more grand for treatment, so wish me luck at the car boot on Saturday!

x

[HannahTramaseur Partner Fertility Network UK]

It is policy not to recommend, comment on or promote individual clinics. As each person’s experience of a clinic can be very individual could anyone responding please keep their response to general support and use the message system to discuss anything related to a particular clinic. Many Thanks, Hannah

[pollypopps in reply to HannahTramaseur]

Oh I've seen lots of posts on clinics I thought this was a place to talk about our journeys!! I've amended the heading if that's what your referring to, I just wanted a bit of support!!

[HannahTramaseur Partner Fertility Network UK]

Thanks pollypopps you didn't need to amend your post (although it's great you have!) I'm just trying to avoid others commenting on particular clinicians etc. as a charity we need to remain impartial and moreover, individual experiences can differ greatly and what works for one person might not work for another. I hope you find the support you are looking for on here. Please do call our Support Line on 0121 323 5025 and speak to the lovely Diane who is availble Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays between 10am and 4pm.

[pollypopps in reply to HannahTramaseur]

thank you for the support line info

[Mindful-Muma-to-be]

Hi Polly, Just saw your blog, I hope you ok i hope it goes well. Good luck.

[pollypopps in reply to Mindful-Muma-to-be]

thank you

[PrayingForaMiracle]

Good luck !!! Really lovely that your sister has agreed to donate her eggs - wish you every bit of luck. Can I ask at what stage you were told your own eggs weren't viable? I fear this may be my own situation as I have low ovarian reserve and not likely to respond to hormones? I do however live in hope x

[pollypopps in reply to PrayingForaMiracle]

Thank you. Sure, I've been TTC for 3 years, my FSH's and LH levels have suddenly changed for the worse over the last year, but there must have been something up before then. Coupled with the nearly non existent AMH levels which I only got last summer after paying privately, they surmised my only hope was egg donation and impending early menopause (which my Mum had). I just wish someone had sat me down years ago and properly explained that you follow your Mothers pattern, and you need to pay privately to have a proper fertility MOT (not going back and forth to my GP), maybe not be in this position/not lost so much time. But such is life and this is how my journey has ended up

[pollypopps]

hello me again!

Well I'm feeling pretty positive after another round of prodding and poking!

This clinic is in a different league to our first one. So much more friendly, easy going and very open.The scan was much more in depth than my last one, a Doppler, and can even check blood flow to the ovaries. It was pretty much the same result, i.e 2 follicles but my womb looks good and the lining is thick. AND they are much more open to treating someone like me, i.e high FSH low AMH and have said they I could try natural IVF with my own eggs. This is great news, and nice to be treated individually not dismissed because of the clinics statistics, but at only 10% chance and money being tight we are still looking at egg donation as this will have around a 50% success rate. Isn't it horrid to look at figures and money to try and get a little person of your own!!!

I had been worried they would tell me some more bad news, I seem to be a worrier, but they didn't and I feel relieved and glad we can move onto the next stage. Its funny now that the POF has had time to sink in, its just who I am now and much easier to be told/re-told it, last year I would have been sobbing for the rest of the day - or I may sob tomorrow, that's the wonderful merry-go-round of infertility!

xx

[PokedandProdded in reply to pollypopps]

Hi Pollypopps

Glad you're feeling more confident about your medical team - it's so important you trust and respect the people who are treating you. I also feel I wasted too much time farting around with the GP but I love your attitude, that you've found a way to accept it. I was so angry!

I'm still trying hard to accept the situation I find myself in, but a good sob every now and then can be a good thing, therapy almost...

L

X

[pollypopps in reply to PokedandProdded]

Hello PokeandProdded

Its really hard to come to terms with, I've had some counselling which has helped and I've had lots of anger, generally aimed at unknowing friends *blush*. Also the fact the sun has been shining recently has meant we're all emerging from our long winter blues, huzzah!

Sobbing is good, letting the grieve out, which I hadn't been doing, but I am now, *cue* mad women with puffy face and straggly hair roaming the streets, wailing. I read somewhere about setting aside specific crying time, made me laugh, but was actually pretty good advice!

Have a lovely weekend

xx