just wondering if anyone on here has good tips for dealing with anxiety during IVF treatment - specifically how you managed at work?
I have a meeting with my line manager this afternoon to discuss how they can support me during this cycle (my 4th fresh cycle).
The process of IVF itself feels very familiar to me now, having gone through 3 fresh and 1 frozen cycle (2 ending in miscarriage). So I hadn’t anticipated the level of anxiety I’m feeling about it all this time around. My job is quite high pressure now (more so that during previous rounds), and while I will be able to get time off for appointments etc I do not know how I’m going to cope more generally with a stressful workload. I have previously always worked right the way through my cycles (with time off after egg collection) but having my doubts about how I’ll manage this time round.
Have people found that taking more time off is helpful? Or a more formalised flexible working arrangement? I just don’t know what is going to be best here as I’ve always felt more positive and hopeful about previous cyclescycle and now I just feel overwhelmed and anxious 😟
TIA
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emma_g87
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I'll be honest for my 3rd round I wasn't planning on taking time off work, but when the time came my GP recommended it. I took my egg collection/recovery as self certified then my GP recommended 2 weeks sick leave for the TWW.
It's hard keeping busy during the time but I don't think I'd be able to give my best at work and think I'd lose it with people. I've a high pressure role and I feel just taking work out of the scenario is one less thing to worry about.
Hi. Have a look at our Fertility In The Worlace pages on our website fertilitynetworkuk.org also, bica.net who are a charity that deal just with fertility and relationships going through treatment. Have a look. Diane
I really empathise with this. I’ve often cracked on and used annual leave etc but eyeball deep in the journey now and finding resilience at work much harder. I am with my DH’s encouragement, planning to take some time out of work this next cycle so I feel I’m looking after myself and giving it my all without work stress.
I do feel we are expected to do so much. There’s so many studies showing it’s as stressful as cancer treatment and no one expects cancer patients to rock up to work like nothing is going on. Put yourself first.
I’m planning lots of walks and crafts. Bit of CPD to keep mind busy etc.
I’ve found mindfulness really helpful and acupuncture or other holistic treatments have really helped me feel less anxious.
Incredible comparison about cancer patients, it's so true. When I had cancer I had no where near the levels of stress I have now. I knew deep down I was going to be OK. But with this IVF journey, it's heartbreaking. - Well noted, I am going to take a break on my next 2ww.
only done the one cycle - but wish I’d taken more time off. I actually found it stressful trying to pretend everything was normal with colleagues as only my manager knew.
does you work have a fertility policy? That was helpful for me. My manager had not done ivf but had struggled to conceive her children - so that was helpful. Otherwise it’s quite hard to explain it all. My work actually had a video I could share with her.
One thing my manager did help me do was let me more remotely. And for when there was a big meeting - I was able to call in “sick” in advance so I did the pre work as something I could write a detailed handover in advance (colleagues just thought I was super organised!!). I was able to still work remotely that day (appearing offline)and get stuff done to keep me occupied and distracted and on top of things.(depends on the nature of your job of course)
If I was doing it again though I’d say try and do what suits me best not my work. Put myself first! Hope it all works out for you
I think the combo that worked best for me was to work during treatment but take some time off during the 2ww for an actual holiday (not to sit in the house staring at the clock wishing it was test day lol) but you need to do what works best for you. Defo position with your manager that you will not be able to work extra hours etc just for those couple of weeks of stims and ask how they can help you with that in reality … as I’ve found managers often say the right things but not always helpful day to day actually directing the work elsewhere if you know what I mean xx
Thanks to all who replied. In many ways, its really helpful just to hear that others are thinking about the sames things and that the struggle to stay sane at work during IVF is real!
As an update, I had a meeting with my line manager yesterday to discuss things. I don't think I'll take any time off (other than for appointments and egg collection) as we have a number of people off sick in the team. However, I am going to have a reduced workload in the short term (sticking to managing my top 2-3 priority projects that have noone else to cover them) and have agreed to deprioritise the other things. We've also agreed that I don't have to make up the time spend at appointments.
The biggest struggle for me is always the nagging feeling that I'm not delivering or that I'm 'letting the side down' for having a reduced workload. It doesn't help that I work in a very busy high-pressure environment. So the main thing to work on is just allowing myself to put the IVF cycle (and my own wellbeing) as the very top priority for the moment. My DH and I have decided that we will not do any further IVF after 5 rounds (the round I am just starting today will be my 4th). So its absolutely imperative that this is the focus for now.
Thank you all for all the helpful comments - we've got this! - and wishing you all luck on your journeys, whereever you are with them.
You do you, the work will be a good distraction for you and your manager sounds flexible. I probably would have been better working but I'm making the most of this time and doing some stuff with my mum and son. Once I'm back to work my life will be back to crazy lol good luck with this round xx
A supportive work environment made a huge huge difference to how I managed my mental health during my latest (and last round). I also have a high pressured job and my line manager was nothing but amazing. She had been through it and understood completely what I was going through. I hope you have the same experience with yours after your meeting, just be completely open and honest and if you feel you aren't supported in the way you want to be then see if you can get signed off sick. Ultimately this is for your family and that's the most important thing. Your job won't thank you so you need to think about yourself!
See if your company have a fertility policy? It's becoming a lot more common place now so should outline your entitlements at the very least.
Accupuncture also helped me massively manage anxiety and a great app I used was Mindful IVF. Do things that make you happy!
Emma <3 - last transfer I kept on running to the toilet to cry, for sometimes 30mins-1 hour. Sometimes crying at my desk if no one can see me. I work in theaviation sector where everything needs to be in yesterday.
I realised my company was losing up to 4 hours+ productivity a day from being upset or poor concentration. A point worth making (if you have anyone that knows). Thus, it's in their best interests to let you do what you feel comfortable doing.
If you're fighting emotions and tears at work you need to come away hun. I'm going to do this too on my next 2ww. I wish you all the very best. We need to line up some fun things to do on our days off!
hi, I carried on full time through my 3 rounds and found it overwhelming stressful. More so, trying to maintain relationships at work when I just wanted everyone to go away while I got myself through this. I regret giving myself the hard time that I did. I feel like it had a lasting negative effect so if I did it again, I would take time off and take better care of my mental health.
It’s really good that you are able to talk to your bosses about things. Mine didn’t really understand which added to the stress. It is a time which passes and things will become easier, give yourself a break and put yourself first where you can. Good luck xx
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Work & IVF treatment 
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