I really can’t decide what to do about going again, I change my mind daily as it’s a lot to go through & it’s going to cost us this time & I’m scared it may not work
On one hand I’m thinking I have my miracle baby I never thought I would have (successful FET on 2nd ivf attempt) so leave it at that
On the other hand will I regret not trying for a sibling as I do have 2 chances. I know it’s only my decision to make but I really just don’t know what to do my head is scrambled
Written by
Greencook
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
I felt the same quite soon after my son was born and absolutely dreaded going through it all again. It is marginally easier the second time as you know it can work and you have your baby at home to help with the rough times. I was desperate to give my son a sibling, and wanted to feel like I had tried even if it didn’t work.
It’s a really hard decision but for me, I felt like I couldn’t not try and so I set myself a limit as to the number of rounds I would do before I stopped.
It’s still a hard process and I found IVF completely draining but it is a little easier second time x good luck whichever way you choose xx 🍀🍀
This is me now. I’ve had a lovely year of not having to think of anything fertility related so why do it to myself 😂 exactly the same thoughts on feeling like you’ve tried. I feel like I might regret not doing it more than doing it. I wouldn’t be able to do any more than 2 , I couldn’t do the whole egg collection again I don’t think. Thanks for that it’s made me feel a bit better as like you say you have your baby at home to help you through xx
Hey Greencook, I am sure you know which way your heart is leaning to more. Like you I have embryos on ice and for me it was really hard not to think it would be the perfect opportunity to try for a sibling. But decisions like these are tough as there are other implications to think about. So do take it easy on yourself.
I have found that just giving myself some time to be sure has helped me massively. I have deferred my decision for over 3 years. I just found it hard to act on the decision I knew deep down was right. In the meantime though I have enjoyed being a mum to my DD.
Hi we had some embryos in the freezer 2 good quality ones and 4 poor quality ones. After a lot of discussion we decided we would try for a sibling but would only give it two more trys using the good quality embryos. A FET is far easier than going through a round of IVF and a lot cheaper. Your just getting the lining of your womb ready for transfer and if you go for a natural FET I think it's only progesterone medication you need to take just before and after transfer. I had to do medicated FETs as I don't ovulate. So had to take norethisterone to force a period then a tablet of oestrogen 3 times a day I had a total of 2 scans then was ready for transfer I had the choice of 3 different days to go for I had zero emotional or physical symptoms/side effects. It was far easier on my body and mind than IVF. Our first FET earlier this year ended in miscarriage at 7 weeks it was hard but not as hard as previous losses as this time I had a crazy toddler that needs constant attention so that helped a lot. Currently 7w5d with our second and last attempt. I could not go through another round of IVF the 3 we did to get my LG took far too much out of me but having embryos in the freezer I would of always felt guilty if I hadn't tried to use them to give her a sibling. Whatever you decide will be the right decision fir you. X
I’m so sorry to hear you miscarried the 1st FET this is my fear as I think financially we would only be able to do one transfer so it’s a risk isn’t it. I am with you about feeling guilty about not trying it’s just finding the right time to start it but then I suppose no time is. So happy it worked 2nd time round for you xx
such a personal decision and whatever you decide will be the right one for you. For us it took 6 years and 6 rounds to make just two embryos so they are incredibly precious to us. So taking that view after our successful first there’s no way we wouldn’t give our second a chance as well. I found the egg collections much harder than the frozen transfer personally. So if our second transfer doesn’t work we will have to think long and hard about what to do. This process is so hard as you have a vision of your life and your family and it all changes. I wanted to be a young parent with 3 kids but those dreams get stripped from you. I think some time might help you figure out what you want and in our case we found therapy really helped as well. Take your time and listen to others but in the end you’ll figure out what feels right for you. ☺️ xxx
Exactly this .. to be honest I never even thought I would end up with any children so anything was a bonus so that’s why I’m so confused as to what to do, thank you xx
Of course it’s your decision, but if I were you I’d give those two embryos a go so there are no regrets later in life or “what ifs”. I have one more embryo to go and I plan on trying that in the new year just so I can close this chapter of IVF and put it behind us.
You’re clearly unsure at the moment so maybe leave it a few months and see how you feel? Because ultimately, you need to be ready for it, physically and emotionally, no matter the outcome xx
Yes I agree I think I feel pressure at the moment to decide as we did say once Christmas is over we’ll go for it but with it coming to that time now I’m just overthinking everything x
Very true as I was 30 when the eggs was taken but in all honesty I’ve been dealing with it all since 16 (when I had my first ectopic) went on to have 3 more so this last year has been refreshing not having to worry about it x
hey. Thought I would reply as in a similar position…a bit further along. We had 2 embryos as well and used both, unfortunately neither worked and no 2nd baby for us.
It’s a slippery slope though, because we’re now considering another full round. Going for some tests today to see where our fertility stands before making a decision. Like you, I just wonder if I can tolerate it mentally. I remember how exhausting it was emotionally and not sure whether I want to put myself through all that again, or just continue our lives with our son as a family of 3!
I’m so sorry it didn’t work, you’re very strong to consider having the whole egg collection again but if it’s what you want you won’t regret it once it works. Good luck ❤️
It is such a hard decision to make. We were so lucky to get our amazing little boy from our 6th transfer, and we had 5 embryos left in storage after that.
When we were ready (last year) we decided to try for a sibling. We went in to it just assuming it would work because we'd found the magic formula the last time, and so the first 2 transfers that failed were a massive shock. Then the 3rd transfer worked but sadly we had a miscarriage at 8.5 weeks. Honestly this has thrown me so much, because even though it took ages to get pregnant the first time, the scans were always fine and everything went smoothly (ish).
We had agreed before starting last year - that we would do 3 transfers and call it a day - whatever the result was - due to emotional and financial reasons. But we are now left with 2 embryos and the tantalising prospect of it possibly working again.
I am actually terrified to start again. The thought of going back in to the clinic, and having to go through more scans where they've told me the heart has stopped - makes me feel physically sick - and the clinic were pretty crap after it happened so I really don't want to go back there. But equally we can't afford to start moving embryos to a new clinic with all the tests they'll want doing before starting again.
I am finding myself making appointments blindly and almost sleepwalking in to it. I don't want to do any of it, but I also really do.
I think ultimately whatever decision you make will be the right one, but for me - in my heart of hearts I can't leave those 2 embryos sitting there while I dither and get older. So we're going for it - despite everything.
I realised that I need closure - I need to get to a point where I can say "I am done" and until those 2 little frosties have been put back inside me, that won't happen. I want to be able to draw a line under this hellish (but incredible) journey and move on.
Sorry you’ve been through all of that 🫶🏻 that’s me too I think I’ll always think what if more than why did we do it .. at least you know you tried & let fate take its course .. good luck ❤️
That’s such a hard place to be, and honestly, it makes so much sense that your head is all over the place. IVF is such a rollercoaster—it’s not just the physical and emotional stuff but the financial side too. No wonder you’re feeling torn.
It’s okay to feel grateful for your miracle baby and still wonder about trying for a sibling. Both feelings are totally valid, and you don’t have to have it all figured out right now.
Maybe just sit with it for a bit—think about what life might look like if you try again and what it might look like if you don’t. There’s no rush, and whatever decision you make, it’ll come from a place of love. You’ve got this. xx
Absolutely as I went back part time so already struggling so I don’t want it to effect my life with my son I have now, I want to go on holidays & days out without worrying. Thank you ❤️ there isn’t no immediate rush as I’m 35 coming up & so much can happen / change on a year so I may give myself another year xx
I’m currently 25 weeks with a sibling after having my little boy in 2021. It’s been a loooong hard road (at least 5 egg collections and 11 transfers) and at times I thought why am I doing this again but I was mostly doing it for him to have a sibling which has kept me going. I thought the negative tests and misscariages would be easier as we didn’t have the ‘pressure’ of potentially never being parents but if anything they were harder to take somehow having seen it work before or at least just as hard. Should I be doing this or spending my money on the child I have now? Am I not as good of a mum cos I am busy with IVF? Doubts do creeping from time to time during the hard days BUT I couldn't have left it with not knowing ‘what if’ and not tried for a sibling.
We started trying again when little boy was only a few months old and he’s 3.5 now so only advice I would give is if you are going to go for it I would do it sooner rather than later (depending on your age and reasons for IVF of course!) but defo be prepared for it to be a tough road and not any easier the 2 nd time around xx
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
my head is scrambled 
DE FET for a sibling
Trying for sibling - same plan didn’t work, miscarriage again! 
Do I tell Work the truth?
Bleeding for a week now but still BFPs 🤔😐
Why do I do it? 🙈😂
