Hi everyone. Just posting to share pain with people who understand.
Just had a BFN today, our OTD. It was our third embryo and we have no more in the freezer now. First cycle didn't work, second cycle ended in miscarriage at 12 weeks and now this.
We had already decided we can't go through IVF again. It's so gruelling to go through, especially as we'd be starting back with a fresh cycle again and my husband doesn't want to put me through it, and I'm not sure I can manage it again to probably get the same outcome. I am nearly 38 and thinking we will have to come to terms with the fact this will probably not happen for us.
I appreciate anyone else who may have arrived at the same conclusion probably isn't active in this particular forum any more, but if anyone can share any words of wisdom about how you move forward from this point, I'm all ears. I also need to figure out how to be happy and excited for my brother and sister in law, who are having a healthy first pregnancy with no problems, and my family who are so excited (first grandchild) that it's all every conversation is about now. It hurts.
Love to all you warriors x
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scotchegg
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Hi. Oh my dear girl, I am so sorry to hear this, it is all so cruel. I do hope you have support around you just now. Perhaps take some time out and give yourself time to recover before deciding your next move. Apologies if you have already done this, but are your Fallopian tubes parent since losing your little one, as any excesss lubrication could prevent implantation of a developing embryo. All said hysteroscopy to check out womb and biopsy the lining. Just my thoughts, but I do wish you well. Diane
Its so tough and I am so sorry you are gonig through this. My husband and I also have up at our last ec in July. Nothing to transfer. It'd was our third round but I got my son from our second transfer which provides some comfort. Try to distract yourself with whatever works for you. I'm doing work at the moment and concentrating on getting some ivf pounds off at the gym which is helping my mood.
I've since been diagnosed with aps which explains the unexplained fertility all these years but it's 4 years too late! If only I got the blood test sooner!!
However give yourself time, grieve, cry, scream, it all needs to happen and keep talking to your husband. Only you and he know what you are going through and have been through, whatever will come out of it will hopefully make itself clear. Xx
I’m so sorry to read your post, I can really relate and it does hurt. It felt bleak for me after two failed cycles but with a bit of time you may feel ready to go again. I was 41 when it worked, 38 is still young by IVF standards.
It is gruelling and draining on all fronts but you are making embryos so that is definitely a positive. I had 3 fresh cycles to get my son, and I felt like I was at the limit of my resilience after the third egg collection but often with a bit of time to process, spirits can lift a little.
It is incredibly hard to be on this journey and also be part of other people’s ‘easier’ journeys to parenthood. I found it useful to try and seperate the two in my mind. I tried not to compare myself to my friends who fell pregnant easily, they had their babies but I was waiting for mine. It’s really hard, I’m sorry not to have much advice, but just to say you’re not alone and you don’t have to decide a conclusion right now. At 38, you really do have time xx
Hi,I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. It's truly awful. I want to emphasize that you should never give up hope. After a couple of unsuccessful IVF procedures, we made the decision to stop doing them. We made peace with our lives without a baby. It wasn't easy, but it was better than going through that pain of a failed cycle over and over again. After giving up on trying, we naturally conceived our miracle baby at age 41. I'm now 30 weeks pregnant. I hope my story will help you a little. I am sending you a lot of strength during this difficult time. Please don't lose hope! xx
I am so sorry to hear about this and can really understand how u are feeling right now. I don't know whether my story will give u any positive vibes but have helped many others with whom i have shared. I was only 30+yrs when we started to plan for our baby. I always had a healthy timely period with no other issues. Even my dad and brother both are doctors. After 1 yr of trying at 31 yrs, in the month of Dec 2022, we came to know I had both sides block fallopian tubes. This news itself broke and torn me pathetically as I was so desparate for my own baby to carry. Seeing my friends, family members sharing their pics of baby shower and maternity shoot on social media wud really torn me apart more and more each day due to which I cut myself from all social media platforms. But, luck had something more gruesome in store for me. We came to know that I had a fibroid in my uterus, hydrosalpinx in my right fallopian tube end, haemorragic cyst in my right ovary, my amh was way too low only 1.32 compared to my age and a disbalanced hormone profile. With all these my dream of ever having my own baby was next to impossible.
I was so mentally distorted that even I was on the verge of psychiatric counselling. Negativity, depression with all time crying was my only work at that moment.
But, thanks to almighty my husband played a crucial role with loads of positive vibes in this pathetic situation. Everyday and everytime leaving behind his own work he would take care of me mentally physically. Tried all possible ways to make me understand that I have so my good potentials to unlease. Slowly with all last bit of mental strength left, I started taking into account one by one my negative points. First I needed to work out on my physical health and hormone profile as its the most primary criteria for ivf process. Also, it affects the amh which determines the quality and quantity of my eggs. Started working out and taking all foods which helps mainting good hormone profile and produces healthy eggs. By this time I was all determined that it only takes 1 good egg for a healthy baby. I may have less but I can produce good ones. I started for accupuncture sessions which really really helped me in maintaining a good hormone profile, with only 5 sessions my follicles started responding, even I started to feel more and more positive day by day which actually started to have good effect on my reproductive system.
With all these I went my 1st egg retrival last year june in which 9 eggs retrieved, 8 matured and fertilised, 7 made to day 5 blastocyst with a good grading. In all these odds, one thing that I had good was a good endometrium lining from the begining itself.
In aug last year, we underwent our 1st transfer, which resulted in a BFN. Again a wave to dissatisfaction hovered me. We underwent ERA + Hyst test last year Oct and came to know about my implantation window and that my fibroid had increased in size with all hormonal pills and injections.
This year in the month of mar, i had myomectomy for fibroid removal. In between these, many times we had tried for 2nd transfer, but due to some reason my endo would shrink to approx 6-7 mm only on the day of transfer and thus cycles got cancelled every last minute.
Finally ,in the month the april, we again tried for 2nd transfer with a hope that this time it would word. On the day of planned transfer, I had an accupuncture session which really helped with good blood flow to my uterus and implantation.
Finally, we had our 2nd transfer with endo 8.8mm and on May 14 2024, we came to know we are pregnant. Not only that my blood tests came with good hcg values.
Currently I am in my 8th month pregnancy. Please pray for me and my baby as its been a long hectic journey all through....
Don't lose hope as miracles happen when time is right. Try taking a break now but be positive. Gather all your mental and physical strength and start again. Luck will surely be ur way soon. All the best for u being a mom soon....lots of love
Thank you everybody for your kind and thoughtful replies. I'm so pleased to see that for some of you, miracles have happened.
In our case it's male factor infertility and it's tough comforting my husband to assure him I do not view anything as his fault. He has made huge changes to his diet and lifestyle over the past year or so, and is so much fitter and healthier now. He is however 44, so obviously age is also coming into play for him.
I did wonder if a miracle had happened in August, my last cycle before IVF. My period, which is always as regular as clockwork, was a whole 7 days late. I'd dismissed those thoughts at first but by day 5 I was really beginning to wonder. I checked my tracking app and could see back through the history of several years, it had never been later than 3 days. By day 6 I took a pregnancy test and I wasn't sure. I thought I could detect the faintest line, a real squinter. More visible if I took a photo and adjusted the colours. I thought if I was pregnant it would have been clearer so the next day I took a digital test that read negative. A day after that I started bleeding.
But it made me wonder, was I briefly pregnant? Did I have a chemical? If so, that may just give the faintest glimmer of hope that this could happen naturally for us. We've not used contraception in probably 6 years and that's the closest we may have come. But maybe now my OH has got himself into better shape, things may have changed.
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