Period before test date

So totally gutted didn’t even make it to test day. I know I was so lucky to get an embryo but nothing prepares you for the sadness. The thought of another summer followed by another Christmas etc just makes me feel so sad. I’ve avoided most friends during this process and had some glimmer of hope that I would be able to see them again (I’m normally a social butterfly but it’s stolen that from me). There’s an announcement once a month and then the birth comes about just so quickly - always on edge when the next one will be. Just need to take some time- no idea how you guys have done so many round- this is round 2 you are all amazing. Not sure I’ll manage the 3rd round it’s just so difficult 😞

[Audio1986]

Hi Newcastle 12,

I'm so sorry your cycle failed I know how devastating it is. I totally understand how you feel avoiding friends I am the exact same. It's easier to avoid all triggers and protect yourself I found meeting friends that had kids just made me feel so much worse as they can't help talk about the kids. I've been under a rock for the past few years.

I spent last Christmas in tears as my brother had a new baby and watching the baby being passed around the room just made me so emotional.

I've been 4 years ttc and had 2 rounds of ICSI first round was total fertilisation failure 2nd round fresh transfer failed. I had an embryo in the freezer that I transferred and I'm now 8 weeks pregnant I just wanted to give you hope as I was feeling exactly like you are now. Don't give up! We used embryo glue this time...and i think the frozen transfer gives your body a break from all the hormones.

Best of luck x

[Hidden in reply to Audio1986]

So glad I’m not the only person to do this I feel very odd in some ways! Wish I could cope better! Congratulations so happy for you hope you can enjoy as much as you can ❤️ we have no frozen so think that makes this harder and it’s now onto a self funded round so as you know double the stress!!! Thanks so much for replying xx

[Christianbaby]

Sorry to hear about your cycle. Recognize the strength you've already shown by going through this process once before. Despite the heartache and uncertainty, you've demonstrated resilience and determination. It may feel overwhelming to contemplate 3rd round, but don't forget that you've already proven to yourself just how resilient you can be. take small steps forward, one day at a time.

Brighter days ahead. You've got this. x

[Doodlebug23]

I don’t think you sound like you’re done. Give yourself some time to grieve and then make your decision. This is a totally rubbish journey I know but you can do this! 💪🏻

[Xmishell37]

Sorry Ur feeling this way and need to do another fresh cycle 💔 I was in the exact same position as u, avoided friends, hated socialising, locked myself away for YEARS, but despite still having no success after 5 years of trying and over a year of IVF (1 early miscarriage, 1 chemical, 1 didn't implant), I feel like I'm coming out the other side, and its not because anything is looking better for us when it comes to having a family, its more so that its utterly exhausting to avoid people forever (when like you I was the social butterfly of the group and am the only one in our friend circle that doesn't have kids - and the oldest), Im starting round 2 soon and have made positive changes to diet and take more supplements, so I feel like Im doing all I can. I felt so depressed over a year ago that I was almost consciously making the decision that if IVF didn't work, then I don't want to be here and would make sure i wasn't, which is a scary thought to look back on considering my thought process now, there were some really really dark days and thoughts. As much as I soo want kids with my partner, I'm now considering alternative plans (travelling mainly) if we aren't successful. For each failed transfer I think of somewhere different we will visit if not successful in the end. I know it's not that simple for everyone but I just want u to know that it can get better and there is a very good chance you won't always feel this way ❤️ I attended a hen weekend recently (the only sober person) and had a great laugh, was glad I went in the end but the anxiety beforehand was still awful ,(preparing for being asked when we will have kids), laughter really is the best medicine and it made me realise how much I've missed out on (1 year ago I just wouldn't have went), do what u need to to look after urself and take all the time u need to grieve, anyone who whas been through it really does get it, i hope u feel more hopeful soon ❤️ xx

[Twiglet2]

I’m so so sorry 😢 I totally get hiding away from the announcements but is there maybe a few friends that you could confide in or that won’t be having any announcements soon that you could still spend a bit of time with for your own sake as it sounds like it’s something that is good for your soul 💜 be kind to yourself and lean on others right now you deserve it xx

[Becem92]

I feel like you just took all of my feelings and wrote them down for me!

This really is an unimaginable journey that unless you have been on, you would never be close to understanding.

Last year I felt very much the way you do now, it’s so so hard to pick yourself up. It took me a long time to see the light again, but I promise it will feel a little lighter again.

I always found after a fresh IVF cycle the hormone crash was so much worse than any other month! I spent the last 4 months really just focusing on us, enjoying every moment together and remembering why we chose to do life together. No fertility treatments, no TTC, no diets or crazy attempts at anything, just enjoying life. I must say it’s made me look at things from a much better angle, more positive and less harsh on myself for not being pregnant yet. I’ve found socialising again to be much better and I feel less stressed about it

I know it’s easy for everyone else to say, and when you’re feeling so low, nothing makes you feel any better. But just remember, you are strong enough to go through what you have been though already, you are strong enough to continue with whatever is right for you. Be gentle to yourself and give yourself time to heal, you are absolutely allowed to feel sad and there is no timeline on that xx

[Hidden in reply to Becem92]

My husband and I think that’s a great idea trying our best to have some normal time- going to try and focus on this. I know I’ll manage another round and already getting excited at the thought of adoption. We set ourselves a 3 cycle only and trying to see it as 2 cycles down 1 to go before we can feel that we’ve given it our all and can try and move on- I think that’s the hardest is when your feel there’s no end point