My first post. A tricky start to my journey.

[NervyJ]

We started IVF last August. I turned 41 in November and my cycles have been pretty irregular for about a year now. My AMH was very low at 0.3, and my follicle count was 3, so I was told my chances of success were less than 5%. Despite this I wanted to try everything I could to have a baby with my eggs. I have huge regrets over making this decision so late and not freezing my eggs when I was younger. I naively thought that because I’m healthy, I’d be able to do this in my 40s. So getting these results was a bit of a blow, but I wasn’t ready to walk away without trying.

After some research, we initially tried modified natural ivf. My body seemingly didn’t respond to this as they wanted; my hormones were all over the place and my follicles didn’t develop enough. So I had about 4 abandoned cycles of this.

I then switched to mild stimulated ivf in March. My body responded to the higher meds and follicles actually developed. My cycles have been short ~23 days, so things moved quicker than expected. I had my first attempted EC in March with 2 follicles. The clinic werent 100% sure if one was a cyst or follicle, but couldn’t confirm. After I came round, I was told one was a cyst, so they just drained it. The other did have an egg, but it looked damaged. The next day I was told it wasn’t viable. So I got nothing. Weirdly I wasn’t overly perturbed by this, as this was the furthest I’d got so far, and my body was at least responding now and creating eggs. The embryologist said just because one was damaged, it wasn’t an indicator that others would be, as all follicles are different.

So we tried again this month. I responded quickly to the meds, with two follicles. They pushed me a bit further this time before EC. They booked me for EC on day 11 based on growth levels. But on my day 9 blood test, my LH showed as elevated. They asked me to do an ovulation test that evening which showed normal levels, so they suggested it could’ve just been a I hadn’t yet had my Cetrotide injection when I had the test, and advised me to take ibuprofen. I took my trigger injection on that evening, and nervously spent the next 36 hours waiting for EC and hoping I hadn’t ovulated.

My worst fears were realised on Wednesday. I was prepped and went in, they scanned before sedation to be sure. As soon as he was quiet and said nothing, I knew it before he spoke. Both released already. I broke down in tears - all that money and stress and I’d missed what could have been 2 good eggs. I have blamed myself for not pushing them to book me in the day before when they saw my LH rise. Maybe then I’d not have missed them. An expensive and upsetting mistake.

Now we’re just waiting for my next cycle so we can pick ourselves back up and start again.

Thanks for reading my long post. If anyone has any experience or advice to share of anything similar on their own journeys, that’d be so much appreciated. Feeling pretty low right now, and anxiety is peak not helped by the hormones of course. Reading your posts has given me strength knowing I’m not alone and so many strong women out there going through this journey. Thank you

[Newcastle12]

Hey there. I can’t comment on having a similar journey mine has been different but full of bumps. IVF is amazing when it works and cruel when it doesn’t. You are doing so well to have kept going and looking to a new round. I am very fortunate to have gotten to transfer stage but not hopeful and have no embryos frozen. I’m looking at a potential third and final round before I move onto adoption which I’m also excited about but learning to accept I might not have my own is difficult! Here if you need to chat I find this forum really helpful and full of so many strong women - all I can say is you are doing amazingly x

[NervyJ in reply to Newcastle12]

Thank you for your kind words and support. I certainly had no idea just how many things can go wrong in IVF, so it’s been a real challenge to get our heads around.

I wish you all the very best with your third cycle x

[Anxiousintrovert]

I just wanted to wish you the very best of luck 🤞

[NervyJ in reply to Anxiousintrovert]

Thank you ☺️ 🙏

[Football61]

Hi, I’m really sorry to hear about your difficult journey. I hope you don’t mind me asking this, but have you considered moving to a new clinic - or are you happy with your existing one? Could they move you away from mild IVF in your next cycle and see how you respond to stronger meds? Wishing you the very best of luck x

[NervyJ in reply to Football61]

Hi. We originally looked at another clinic that only offered standard ivf. They were even less hopeful and didn’t inspire any hope, suggesting my eggs wouldn’t be any good. So I did more research and found out about natural and mild ivf, and how that can be better for women my age with very low AMH. When I spoke to them, I just got a better feeling, and thought it best to start there - especially given my fear of needles - the idea of less injections was pretty appealing!

I have started to wonder the same though - whether I’d be better on standard ivf, given my body has only started responding once I upped the meds. I’m signed up for a 3 cycle package. One is complete (with zero result) but I’ve still got 2 left as the recent one was classed as cancelled as they didn’t actually go through with the EC procedure. So I will see how I get on with the next attempt and review things from there. The clinic staff are extremely nice, but them potentially misadvising on the timing of the second EC has put some doubt in my mind about them now unfortunately.

Thank you for your support x

[BlahBlah55]

Sorry you’re having a bumpy time. That sounds so upsetting that they missed the eggs on your last cycle, don’t blame yourself though. It’s hard to disagree with the clinic when they’re suppose to be the experts.

I am in a similar boat to you - soon to turn 41. Have been TTC for 14 months, was originally hoping to be pregnant before I was 40 but here we are.

I also have very low AMH like you. No one has given me a figure for change of success but Ive calculated mine is also about 5% chance of having a baby. For me that is a chance that’s worth it - 1 in 20 isn't impossible, especially if we try a few times.

I’ve done 1 failed round of ICSI, I had 5 follicles develop (even through the AFC that cycle was only 3), but they grew at different rates so only ended up with three eggs being retrieved. One did become a day 5 blastocyst which was transferred but that was not a successful transfer sadly. I am now starting a second round and trying a different approach - we’re doing the full wham of long protocol and then max dose of Menopur. I’m on day two of down reg now so probs start stims in about 10 days.

I am aware some clinics only advise natural/mild for women in our position. But having done a lot of research and discussions with my doctors at the clinic it seemed stronger drugs would give me the best chance to get multiple eggs. I don’t really understand the argument of “quality over quantity” as no one can control the quality. But getting as many eggs as possible will surely increase the chances of finding a good one?!

Everyone is different and will respond differently to the drugs, so not saying what’s best for me is for everyone.

I did 3 round of IUI before getting to ivf (one did work but I miscarried at 8 weeks). I found timing the IUI with my natural LH surge the most stressful thing and I’m convinced the third time we got the timing of the procedure too late and I was so gutted. I told my partner I could never do it again. I find it easier with the fully medicated IVF they block ovulation and time the EC with a trigger shot so it takes away the anxiety of watching for the LH surge.

Let me know if you’ve any questions about my journey, and please keep us posted on yours, I’m keen to hear about people in similar positions to me.

[NervyJ in reply to BlahBlah55]

Thanks so much for sharing your experience. That sounds like it’s been incredibly difficult, and I’m so sorry to hear about your failed transfer and loss at 8w. I wish you all the luck in the world that your second round of ICSI with long protocol will be the success you deserve.

I will certainly be considering whether to move to a stronger treatment approach if the next round doesn’t go well. As I will run out of money at some point so need to maximise my chances with what we have.

I think even on IVF, I’m going to be nervous now re timing of EC, as I’ve learned the hard way that the injections to block ovulation won’t always work, and I can’t rely on the clinic to get it right. I wish I didn’t have to worry about that - so hard when you’re told to minimise stress!

Please do keep us posted on your treatment - with us being in a similar situation I’m keen to hear how a stronger cycle works out. Wishing you best of luck x