Feeling useless

[WaitingforGabriel]

I am currently at TWW of the round 2 IVF, we have 1 more frozen one and it is very low quality embryo.

Earlier we started searching for anonymous egg banks already, but we were still not very serious and we were still hoping that this second round will work out. Though, 1 week after the transfer of two embryos, I have no symptoms. I believe my period will start soon. Today we met the doctor, he also confirmed that it is too small chance to become pregnant with my own eggs. Now, hopelessly we turned back to search of egg banks. We don't expect any positive outcome from my embryos unfortunately. Though now the search process, too real, it hurts my heart badly. I keep thinking of having a child of another woman and my husband, and the child will not look like me at all. It just drives me crazy. I don't know if I will have mixed feelings to the baby if it is born this way or if I can feel fully mother... what I know is that I feel myself too useless as a woman. I don't know how you all deal with such situation..

[leo1980]

hey!

I had zero symptoms during my TWW. In fact when the nurses called to give me my beta hubby and I were heading to Twickenham for the 6 nations and planning our pub crawl to the stadium and back again! I mean zero systems. I had subsequent HCG’s and yes defo pregnant but no symptoms. I actually feel absolutely fine. I am 43 and I used my embryos from 2020 so had no hope either. Everyone is different so don’t let the lack of symptoms bother you. (Easier said than done) you are in with a chance until test day. Our back up plan is donor too. At this point we really want a family and to just move forward with our lives and if that is what it takes then it is what we will do! I haven’t had counselling or anything but I made my donor egg appointment and paid my fee to be added to the list the day I found out I was pregnant. Perhaps go through the process of counselling etc to see if you can work through it. Best of luck.

[Cuppppatea]

Sorry not a very helpful reply but I have been told to move to donor after two failed rounds with nothing to freeze. I could have written this … ‘keep thinking of having a child of another woman and my husband, and the child will not look like me at all. It just drives me crazy. I don't know if I will have mixed feelings to the baby if it is born this way or if I can feel fully mother..’ I don’t know how I’ll get past it or if I can. I tell myself , is it cutting your nose off to spite your face ?