Tww madness

[Mercury363]

Well after two previous transfers, one chemical where I drove myself nuts with goggle and Covid isolation, and my second successful one, in which I was sure I had cracked the madness with a Zen like two weeks and a perfect pregnancy, I have once again descended into the tww madness for my third and final transfer. Google is no longer my friend and I have a pension pot of used tests which can be positive or negative depending on how much light is shone on them or what new filter I decide to choose today.

I always test early so fully expected a ream of negatives before I would get my shining positive on day 5/6. I'm now 8dp5dt and I'm struggling to see a line on a 10miu test.

Stupidly I never even considered that it could fail, I was so sure that we had cracked this one with the treatment. Even with losing the first I had definite lines. I'm devastated but DH says to wait until otd before we write it off.

I haven't heard of many getting zero on day 8 and then positives on day 9 or for otd on day 10.

Any positives to share?

I've already asked the clinic for costs for one more round but at 41 it's pushing it! How long do you go and how much do you spend?!!

[Millbanks]

Hello lovely,

I've been in a similar situation to you - we have a little boy from IVF in 2021 and had 5 PGT-A frosties left in storage should we ever want to try for a sibling.

It took us 6 goes to get our bubba but once we'd cracked it I just assumed that the same protocol would yield a similar result.

We're 2 FETs down since November and no positive test - I'm baffled as to why it wouldn't work after we found the silver bullet last time! I just got my BFN yesterday after reaaaaally looking for even the slightest positive and nothing.

So I don't have any magical - last minute positive stories for you but just sending solidarity!

Am also 41 so definitely not doing any further egg collections, but also worried that it might not happen this time for us, we may have to be happy with just the one xx

[Mercury363 in reply to Millbanks]

This is my story too for sure! Tonight I am devastated, tested on a Frer with second pee that I kept from today, this evening and it's a definite no. So I have poured a wee glass of wine and I'll dampen my sorrows.

Although I've asked for more costs I can't see us starting all over again. I've been so lucky with one and we knew the other embryos were tested and good.

I'm just sad as I always thought we would be a four. It's a silly thought when you should just be grateful you got the one you asked for!! Ivf is a hard mistress!!

[C-a-t-m-u-m in reply to Mercury363]

A few seconds ago

I am exactly the same currently heartbroken 💔 got my negative last Thursday. I had one MC and 2 BFN from my 3 left! My 1st is my little boy. Why has it worked then not working at all now 😭 if you want to chat feel free to message me. I’m currently grieving from my very recent BFN it’s so bloody brutal xx

[Mercury363 in reply to C-a-t-m-u-m]

It's all so hard and bloody unfair! I'm having to resign myself. I keep thinking what I did the last time round and what I did different. I had pineapple, I did eat Brazil nuts and this time I did none of that. Was that the difference?My embryo attached to the catheter during my transfer so they had to do it twice. Did they harm it?

Not having the answers is a very difficult thing to move on from. We will have to try naturally but with my immuno issues that is unlikely to happen.

[C-a-t-m-u-m in reply to Mercury363]

Please know it’s nothing that you have done or haven’t done ❤️ it’s just not meant to be at this time. It’s so so hard, I’m having private counselling which is really helping me. I also always have Brazil nuts!

It’s hard to understand though why it’s worked before and now not working at all. I think my body has finally given up.

For me as much as it hurts it’s time to put IVF in a box! Mentally I can’t take anymore. It may be opened in a few years but I know I need to stop as it’s taken over my life for 6 years!

Please don’t blame yourself sending a hug xx

[Mercury363 in reply to C-a-t-m-u-m]

Six years is a long time. We have done three and it is all encompassing so I can't imagine how much you have been through!

Sending much love your way! X

[Sunshine92 in reply to C-a-t-m-u-m]

I have a similar circumstance to you. First ivf round failed, only 3 out of 8 fertilised 1 transferred BFN and none to freeze. Switched clinics and got a BFP with my now 3.5 year old boy and got a BFN with frozen embryo this week. Its awful. I cant understand what went so wrong this time round especially after my body has already shown it can do it 😣

[C-a-t-m-u-m in reply to Sunshine92]

Thank you for your message, it’s so hard isn’t it like it’s worked before and now it won’t. I’ve had one mc and 2 negatives since my little boy and it still hurts a lot! Be kind to yourself. I’ve decided to enjoy life for abit. Jacks only 2! Then maybe think about 1 more fresh round in a year or too. How old are you? I’m 36 this year and my Dr told me this week at my age plus 35 there’s only a 15%chance of even implanting at that age! It’s sucks sending love ❤️

[Sunshine92 in reply to C-a-t-m-u-m]

I’m 32 next month, so i suppose still considered ‘young’ by fertility standards, but dont you feel like time just flies by? We have to find the funds now for another frozen cycle and our clinic dont offer loans or packages for frozen cycles like i know others do so realistically its going to be another year before we can try again and with ever passing year i feel chances of implantation declines 😔.

Ahh its just so tough isnt it? But you’re right, its important to enjoy life too xx

[Millbanks in reply to Mercury363]

Oh love, I feel exactly the same. I am so grateful for my little boy but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve another 💔❤️

I am just so frustrated that it has worked once and we thought we had it sussed. I wasn’t expecting all this heartbreak a second time round. Otherwise I’m not sure I’d even have started again. I didn’t really even want to open that door again.

Sending love xxx

[Mercury363 in reply to Millbanks]

Thank you for your comments. Today and tmw until my beta will be tough but I need to start thinking what to do after.

Losing some of my extra baby weight, going on holiday and more exercise to try and feel better.

Hubby was a no on trying again. It just costs so much and I knew that already but it's a hard one to swallow.

IVF is a very cruel thing sometimes!

[C-a-t-m-u-m in reply to Millbanks]

C-a-t-m-u-m profile imageC-a-t-m-u-mMercury363

A few seconds ago

I am exactly the same currently heartbroken 💔 got my negative last Thursday. I had one MC and 2 BFN from my 3 left! My 1st is my little boy. Why has it worked then not working at all now 😭 if you want to chat feel free to message me. I’m currently grieving from my very recent BFN it’s so bloody brutal xx