Early days, taking over my mind

[Gabby2011]

Hi!

Bit of background to my issue: I don't grow eggs / ovulate on my own and I'm 33. February we found a drug that works for me (Menopur) and was successful getting a follicle to over 18mm. Took Ovitrelle to mature the egg and then we tried naturally. Started bleeding overnight (10 days after ovulation) and it is a withdrawal bleed rather than spotting.

My fiance and I are gutted even though we know the % chance per month of naturally conceiving is fairly low. We are speaking to our consultant tomorrow and had hoped to move swiftly to IVF rather than try continued months naturally...

I'm not busy at work and all day all I've done is think about this, get upset, try not to cry, research everything under the sun and get myself truly demoralised and worked up.

It's less any questions at this stage and more just trying to express how i feel! I'm paranoid that IVF has no chance and there is SO much that can go wrong when reading its just so demoralising.

[Here4ivfinfo]

I understand how you feel. I had a scan today ahead of transfer tomorrow and did zero work when I got back and instead lots of epic googling. I don’t have the answer but trust me there are so many people here who are also totally distracted. I’m about to run into Waitrose and grab a load of pomegranate juice because psychologically I think it helps to feel like you’re taking some kind of action. I agree that it can be demoralising reading all of the stories and journeys people go on but there are also stories of hope and amazing stories of people that beat all the odds. I am trying to focus on those at the moment and telling myself “what if it goes right?” When I catch myself being negative. It’s such a battle!

[Gabby2011 in reply to Here4ivfinfo]

I know and you think oh what if all my eggs are just rubbish or what if I have this Killer gene - should I test here etc. You know you have to trust the doctor but all I think I’ll be is the failure stat for IVF

[Here4ivfinfo in reply to Gabby2011]

we’re all failure stats until we aren’t I guess. It’s tricky to think you’ll get lucky xxxx

[Gabby2011 in reply to Here4ivfinfo]

I hope your transfer is successful!

[Gabby2011]

I’m using a weak dose of the IVF drug at the moment I believe! Just reading all about how many eggs are lost during IVF etc.

I’m sorry to hear about your situation - I hope you are also successful with IVF!

I’m on my way home to the fiancé now - a gym class has given me a bit of a boost! Hope I get to sleep OK - always the night isn’t it when you worry!

[Eloquentia]

Hi! Struggling with infertility is very emotional. I remember having the same mixed feelings before the start of our IVF journey. Like everything, it is hard and scary at the beginning. The internet is not always your friend. I found the book 'It Starts with the Egg' very helpful with its recommendations for dietary and lifestyle changes. Talking to your clinic and having their support also helps, as do IVF buddies at a similar stage in the process. It is very normal to be distracted and fixate on it. I hope you get your IVF referral and miracle baby soon!

[silvervn]

Hi, it is an emotional rollercoaster and one I have personally found very lonely. It can feel all consuming and never ending. This year, I have been trying very hard to carve out smaller moments of joy because frankly I feel overwhelmed a lot fo the time. Buying myself little coffees (decaf!), booking in a night away, making an effort to call my gf's (none live near me), watching something on TV for hours without the lazy guilt, the gym. Whatever it is that helps you still feel like you. Here if you want to talk. Wishing you all the best on your journey xxx