I’ve been trying to conceive for a year now. In that time I’ve had 12 pregnancy announcements amongst friends and 4 babies born. I feel so bitter and jealous all the time.
we are considering starting ivf but I am terrified that it won’t work and I won’t be able to cope. The tww already cripples me and I’m devastated when I get my period. How can I possibly cope with those things during ivf cycles?
I totally relate to your second paragraph I posted a Similar thing earlier… looks like ivf is our next step and just can’t imagine how hard each stage of it must be! It’s so scary! I guess everyone must feel the same when they start as nobody wants to be in that situation. it really is so hard!
Of course you feel bitter and jealous its only natural to feel like that when you really want something so badly and its proving hard to come by!
I felt the same as you but I found that IVF gave me more hope and made me feel proactive. For example say 6 eggs are collected in one cycle, that’s 6 months worth of trying naturally. Yes, the 2ww is still hard but for me, as I was 40 at the time I felt like it was a better use of the fertility I had left. I too was terrified that it wouldn’t work but it did, so stay positive and keep in touch with the ladies on here because going through these things together and getting support is very important. Good luck 🍀
thank you so much for this. Glad it worked for you!
I felt exactly the same way. My husband and I hit a year of trying with no pregnancy and that week had six pregnancy announcements from friends, colleagues and one family member who followed the announcement with “haha not sure we like kids”. It was awful and I felt so jealous and guilty and alone.
I found the TWW and TTC in general hard as I felt like I was trying everything. IVF scared me but actually when we decided to give it a try, I felt like there was something I could let go and give to someone else to take care of. I was still trying to eat healthily, exercise, do things to maximise chances but knowing the IVF clinic were working too made me feel like a weight had been lifted.
If you’re considering IVF, remember you can go to a clinic for just a consultation first. We went with all of our NHS/GP test results (blood tests, sperm test, hycosy results) and we had an hour long discussion of options we had, other tests that might help, and they gave us a realistic view of our chances with IVF and helped set our expectations. Not having to commit to a cycle or method of treatment and just getting a second opinion was really great for us (plus one of the private tests we did showed something that actually helped explain why we weren’t getting pregnant) and it’s a good fairly low commitment way of exploring how you might want to proceed.
Whatever you decide and however you feel, you’re not alone. ❤️
We tried for five years. At the end of that we went through two IVF cycles which gave us our currently 2yo beautiful boy. The way that I looked at IVF was if it wasn’t successful, at least I knew at the end of it all I gave my everything and did the best I could to conceive. It is not uncommon for women to take 1-2 years to conceive, keep your head up. You’ve got this ❤️
i totally relate to your post. I I have been so hesitant to start- afraid of meds, of the anesthesia, of its failure.
I ve been trying to concieve for almost three years now- had 3 IUI and had two ivf cycles with three transfers and still waiting. ..
I have had tens of pregnancy announcements - basically all my friends gave birth during this time and it is still happening now with the second children. It sends you off in spirals
What i can tell you is to go to the consultant for a check up and plan and then think about it. I know a lot of success stories. Three of my friends had first successful transfer and gave birth.
Dont close all doors- its a new opportunity each time. Tbh when i am transferring it s the happiest time for me ( as much as it is nerve wrecking to wait) as I am blessed in another opportunity.
It is hard when announcements happen. What helped me was to think that you want your baby not your friends baby.
IVF isn't the only option, there are other medications that may help or treatments that can help after dignoses. I would start the ball rolling and go to your doctors to share that you having been trying. They can then put a referral in for a fertility hospital. Waiting lists are lengthy but worth it in the end! Good luck 
Hi,
A year is not a long time. I know we expect our body to do what we want when we want it but it’s not that simple. I would say along my friends between the moment they decided to give it a go and a BFP it took about 8 to 14 months (natural pregnancies). I believe the NHS won’t be offering you any test that early as if I’m not wrong the advice is 2 years. You could go private and get some test done if you wanted to. But maybe strengthening yourself first could be a better option. If you ended up having some low results, and had no other options than to go for IVF, this would be a very long and painful road.
I can advise you to read Trying to get pregnant and succeeding.
I’ve been trying for over 3years. I have endometriosis, pcos and mister has a low count. We started 11 months ago, we were lucky enough to get 4 embryos from our first cycle. The first transfer failed which was devastating and tbh I wanted to stop there. Hubby got me that book and it was a real eye opener. I was in a much better place for the second transfer and I’m now 23 weeks pregnant.
Never neglect the power of the mind. Take care of yourself. Wishing you all the best!
Hello Chicke905,
I am sorry you are going through fertility issues and I understand where you are coming from. I felt the same. Ivf was my last resort. I was putting it off as long as I could. I tried other options first. I was scared of the injections. I thought it was too invasive. I was terrified it was the last option and if it did not work, it would be the end of the road for us.
The pain of injection was not easy but it was temporary, I got through it. The stress was hard to take and I only fully started procesing it after our son was born. It showed the state of my fertility was worse than what I had imagined. It was hard to take. But I was lucky and have my precious baby in my arms.
So, if there is no other easy fix for you, don’t wait and just do it. You won’t know the result until you try and with fertility, it usually does not pay off to wait.
Good luck. xox
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