Anyone else feeling low as test day g... - Fertility Network UK

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Anyone else feeling low as test day gets closer?

SurvivorPhoenix profile image
26 Replies

My test day is on Monday 26th. I’ve felt good so far in the TWW, not thinking about it too much, not feeling the need to test early and I’ve had lots of nice self care things planned in.

Since yday, I’ve stated feeling low and depressed. I don’t feel like leaving the house or doing anything, I just want to stay in bed or on the sofa. I’ve got a nail appointment booked later and I don’t want to go (even though I’ve been looking forward to it) and I wanted to do some nice things this weekend with hubby and our dog and now it feels like I want to hide and hibernate.

I struggle with my MH generally at times and clearly this is connected to the upcoming test day. Just weird how some of the signs of when I’ve been really depressed, have crept back in. Anyone else felt or feeling like this? X

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SurvivorPhoenix profile image
SurvivorPhoenix
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26 Replies
neonpg profile image
neonpg

Hiya, I've definitely felt like this during all my TWWs. In the first few days I'll be optimistic, then I'll dip around day 4, then spirits lift again and around day 6-7 I have the itch to test as I know that the second line can appear right about this time. Then as we move into the last few days I'm suddenly really nervous/reluctant to test. It's wild how day-by-day our feelings can fluctuate!

Weirdly this has been my easiest TWW ever (I'm now 6dpt) as my early blast only has around a 20% chance of implanting, so I'm not expecting it to work. But I know as I get to OTD I'm still going to be really nervous to see that final result.

I wish I could offer some advice but all I can say as that you're not along in how you're feeling. Make sure that whatever the outcome you surround yourself with people you love and trust, and don't be afraid to seek counselling to talk through the difficult feelings. Good luck for Monday, I'll be testing right with you.

SurvivorPhoenix profile image
SurvivorPhoenix in reply to neonpg

Thank you for your response and that you’ve had to go through this numerous times.

I know it’s all natural and normal to feel like this but funny how you think you’re ok and suddenly the line on the graph as it were, takes a sudden dip.

I feel like hibernating away from my hubby too and being alone. I won’t do that but it’s a feeling I’m having, I think I tend to isolate when things are too much.

Sending you warm and sparkly wishes for your test day ♥️

neonpg profile image
neonpg in reply to SurvivorPhoenix

Thank you so much for the sparkly wishes. The odds are stacked against me but I'm not out yet!

And yea I get you. It's hard when the darkness takes hold, as you know intellectually the things you should do to help yourself get back to the light (get fresh air, do self-care, hydrate, connect with loved ones), but finding the motivation to actually do them is the hard part.

I can't say how you'll feel on OTD as everyone is different, but in my experience when I've had a BFN I've been surprised at how quickly I've managed to pick myself up again. I think because even though the outcome is sad, I guess at least I have my answer, and I can plan the next steps!

Millbanks profile image
Millbanks

Hi lovely,

I've done 7 2WWs and each time they are the same - start off optimistic (like neonpg says) - then by day 6 /7 all hope is gone - then the hope starts creeping in with the horrendous fear of testing... its always a rollercoaster.

Generally it's hideous and the meds make everything worse. So yes, it's very normal to feel like this - I would try to allow yourself to feel however you feel - don't put any pressure on yourself to feel positive or happy. If you want to hide under the bed, do it.

xx

SurvivorPhoenix profile image
SurvivorPhoenix in reply to Millbanks

Thank you for opening up about your situation. You’re so strong and amazing to have gone through this 7 times. Im glad im not alone and this has been felt by others. Hiding under the bed sounds like a good idea! My therapist alway says to just feel through it.

How are you or where are you on your journey now? X

Millbanks profile image
Millbanks in reply to SurvivorPhoenix

And I forgot to add the bit where you feel utterly stupid for thinking it might finally have worked.... it sucks.

We were actually very lucky on our 6th FET and our little one stuck around (with the help of steroids to lower my raging immune system). He's now nearly 2 and I am so grateful every day.

We're actually trying to have a 2nd baby at the moment and I'd forgotten how awful it is going back in to all the uncertainty again. I just assumed it would work because we'd found the silver bullet on the 6th go, but even with all the same protocols it failed in November. So we just keep trying - we're lucky to have some frosties saved so we won't be doing any more egg collections. If if doesn't work though we are happy as we are - I feel like we're being greedy trying for a 2nd after the 1st was so hard!

xx

SurvivorPhoenix profile image
SurvivorPhoenix in reply to Millbanks

I’m so happy that you got your bundle of joy 🥹 you’re definitely not greedy for wanting another. We should be allowed to want these things as much as the next person. Nobody else has the right to judge you when you’re making the choice for you and your family and you’re the one going through it.

It sounds like you’re in a good head space and have a plan either way. I wish you all the luck.

This is only my first round and I’m in awe by all the amazing and strong women who have been through this journey many times. Love is what keeps everyone going ♥️

Millbanks profile image
Millbanks in reply to SurvivorPhoenix

Thank you for saying that - you are right but sometimes it just feels like there are those still struggling to have one and we are just tempting fate! It would be wonderful but as I say, we'll be happy with our little family of 3 (and 2 cats) if that's the way it ends up.

I really hope your journey doesn't take as long as ours! I do see a lot of people who have success first or second time - but sometimes they get complex like ours. You just never know.

I found what helped me keep going was that I was damn sure I was going to do absolutely everything I could to make it work - I researched every option, read so many papers, trawled through so many websites and Instagram accounts and podcasts - and came up with some possible answers. At the end of each failed round I had a new test I wanted, or a new drug I wanted to try - it felt a bit endless and I'm sure my clinic hated me!

I really wish you all the luck in the world and we're all here to support you when you need it xxx

MultiMagpie profile image
MultiMagpie

My test day is also on Monday and this is my 4th 2WW, my 2nd IVF attempt, and I reckon I'm at 15% hope, if that makes sense? 😂 Every time I feel a glimmer of hope, I squash it by reminding myself whatever symptoms I did have, have now gone - I'm not hopeful for a BFN.

I wish you so much luck for Monday, and lets hope we get good news x

SurvivorPhoenix profile image
SurvivorPhoenix in reply to MultiMagpie

Test day buddies. It’s nice being in a community with other women who are finding out if they’re pregnant or not at the same time as you. It seems odd but also comforting.

I don’t think I’ve felt any of the symptoms and some of them I get in life any way like bloating.

I really have no idea which way it’s going to go but, I’m probably mentally preparing for bad news.

I’m sending you so much love and wishes for Monday and I hope that you’re able to look after yourself, whatever the outcome x

MultiMagpie profile image
MultiMagpie in reply to SurvivorPhoenix

Wasn't meant to be for me 💔 x

SurvivorPhoenix profile image
SurvivorPhoenix in reply to MultiMagpie

I’m so sorry 😔 sending you love xxx

Cuppppatea profile image
Cuppppatea

yep - feeling down. My test day is supposed to be wedneday (a whole two weeks from transfer) but I’m going to test Sunday I think… won’t want to do it before work! I don’t have any symptoms, haven’t had sore boobs. I have had a few migraines?! Think I may have had some spotting today (period would have been due today) but maybe too late for implantation. I dunno 🤷‍♀️ not looking forward to putting everything in process for the next steps in the event of a negative. Sending love, know how you feel x

SurvivorPhoenix profile image
SurvivorPhoenix in reply to Cuppppatea

Thank you for the message, mine is two weeks after transfer too. Sorry to be naive by would a test on Sunday be accurate?

I totally get the whole before work thing. I’ve been taking time off work during the process but not for the test and after. I’ve blocked out the whole day on Monday apart from one meeting. If it’s a negative, I’ve decided I’m going to have some sick days, don’t want to keep using up annual leave. Hopefully you could do the same if needed? I’m also thinking more about the next steps if it’s a negative. Clearly protecting my feelings.

I’m hoping you don’t and I’m wishing you lots of sparkle and love x

Cuppppatea profile image
Cuppppatea in reply to Cuppppatea

I decided not to test today. I was worried about the result impacting my day because I am seeing family. I woke up and forgot to can’t use first wee anyway ! I think I will test Tuesday which is one day early, because I’m off work then but I’ll also be alone all day when my husband goes to work. I have sporadic headaches and that’s it for symptoms. Expecting the worst but kind of secretly hoping it’s not. X

SurvivorPhoenix profile image
SurvivorPhoenix in reply to Cuppppatea

You can use first wee?? There is so much I don’t know! Will you be ok being on your own? I was tempted to test today but we’ve decided to do tomorrow as instructed x

Cuppppatea profile image
Cuppppatea in reply to SurvivorPhoenix

No I forgot to collect my wee!! you should use first wee of the day xxx

Yellowlove profile image
Yellowlove

Every time I have had a transfer I have felt like this, and actually the worst was the day before I got a positive. I remember having a massive meltdown crying, asking my husband why this was happening to us because my symptoms had faded and I felt no different to the other times. I really think the hormones play havoc with us. Wishing you so much luck 🍀 and baby dust, it can go any way xx

SurvivorPhoenix profile image
SurvivorPhoenix in reply to Yellowlove

The impact of hormones is real! Thank you for sharing your experience and for the baby dust ✨♥️

CarlottaD27 profile image
CarlottaD27

I get this! I'm on a medicated cycle this month (next month IVF) and my test date is 29th.

Last week I felt full of hope, yet over the past days I've begun to mentally spiral again. All my anxieties have crept back in as I begin to imagine test day and the horrible feeling of a BFN again. Each month it doesn't happen I suspect something worse is wrong with me and that the journey will take longer and longer.

It must be a natural progression of thoughts and I wish I could distact myself better. I keep googling and coming on this website expecting it to give me anwers, but of course it won't as we just have to wait it out...Good luck for Monday, almost there for you! x

SurvivorPhoenix profile image
SurvivorPhoenix in reply to CarlottaD27

I’m sorry that this is making you feel worse about yourself. It’s easy for me to say you shouldn’t blame yourself or think it is you. Have you been getting any support to work through that? Sounds simple, but is there anything you could that you enjoy and for you that could be a distraction?

good luck for 29th and wishing you all the best x

CarlottaD27 profile image
CarlottaD27

thank you for your reply! It is nice to come on here and feel supported.

It definitely doesn’t help that I’m home alone today so will need to try and keep distracted, you’re right that that should give me something else to focus on. Best of luck x

SurvivorPhoenix profile image
SurvivorPhoenix

I’m sorry you’re on your own 😟 normally I’m alone on Saturdays because my hubby manages a football team but thankfully no game today. We went to hay on wye for a few hours so I could mooch around the book shops, I love reading. Could you pop to some shops and treat yourself or do an at home spa pamper session? X

Myshh profile image
Myshh

Hi my official testing day is tomorrow as well. The worst part of whole IVF is these last few days till testing day. Its absolutely draining me mentally and physically. I develop hurrendes sold core and cold. I'm spotting from Friday and cramping. My fertility nurse strongly suggested to continue with progesterone ( the spotting and bleeding is apparently very usual for IVF pregnancies) and test tomorrow.Fingers cross and good lucky to us tomorrow.

SurvivorPhoenix profile image
SurvivorPhoenix in reply to Myshh

Wishing you all the best for tomorrow and sending you baby dust and love. Here’s hoping it works for us both. I haven’t had any spotting or cramping… I’ve had no symptoms at all and I can’t work out if that’s a good thing or not.

Apricottree profile image
Apricottree

It's so hard to work out all the different emotions and feelings involved in this process. Im in the 2ww as well and have been struggling. I was given some lovely advice n here, that my anxiety is most probably down to the medications, and its helped me distance myself from it a bit and not feel guilty, if that makes sense. I've been low and hiding from society too and taking it day by day dictated by what my body is asking or demanding from me. I ended up napping for a lot of today which I think did some good. Sending hugs x

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