Post FET failure, how to recover

[SushiTilly]

Hi Everyone

My first post here, I know many women come here with search of information and positive news. I would appreciate some help.

I've had my third failed Donor egg and embryo FET failure. It's been traumatic six years, prior to this I had three failed egg collections before moving to DE.

We've decided to tell no one during last two FET to protect ourselves and loved ones when it doesn't work. No one outside IVF network has right words to say.

How do you cope with coming off medicine! I'm getting headaches, yesterday I felt very low emotionally but I was exhausted unable to cry as well as fragile to go out into town.

I've watched Tim Childs video about add ons. My last cycle I've always had thick lining, in past has endro scratch. Husband has karyotype test and results were fine. We use donor eggs. Last two rounds were grade 5aa embryo but they've picked up my progesterone was only 7.3 on day of transfer but said with additional progynova that evening then follow up blood test showed it'll be fine. The Dr did say given two previous failures he thinks it's worth checking best window for implantation, do you find that it made difference if your clinic checked? (I'm angry they didn't do it from day one).

Sorry for long post. Id appreciate advice from patient side, as I feel like I need to consider next steps as I have one embryo left.

🙏

[Nabsal]

please take optibac before go for next transfer

[WaitingforGabriel in reply to Nabsal]

What do you take specifically?

[Nabsal in reply to WaitingforGabriel]

Optibac for uterus health.

[WaitingforGabriel in reply to Nabsal]

Thank you! I will look for that!

[Nabsal in reply to WaitingforGabriel]

Optibac you can buy from boots

[WaitingforGabriel in reply to Nabsal]

Thank you for your help!

[SushiTilly in reply to Nabsal]

How does it help? Is that more for digestive health?

[anitaivf]

hi! I’m also facing my third failed icsi, never had an embryo who implanted… always had bfn also with euployd blastocysts… I really don’t know how to go on… I’m feeling vary bad, I lost 30k euro trying and it’s seems that I reached nothing… don’t know if implantation windows test worth it, I’ve tried to find an answer the whole day but only find different opinions…

[SushiTilly in reply to anitaivf]

I am sympathise. Each time I try to do research, whole implantation is IF, ESHRE guidelines said after research it didn't make marginal difference.

I am going to see what is worth testing even peace of mind it's okay to implant. I expect another test cycle.

I've spent £40k with no results. Cost of IVF is awful.

In the first instance best to rest. Give yourself space and time to ask what you need the most to feel better. I think if you have any embryo left the implantation window options can't be bad to try. A window is better than no window.

[anitaivf in reply to SushiTilly]

My clinic did not tested my for progesterone levels… don’t know I transferred 2 good quality blastocyst 12 days ago (5AA) and none of them implanted… it’s so hard… I don’t know if it’s worth it to try to implant my last embryo (which will cost more than 1500 euro plus medication plus other costs) or change clinic and try a new icsi in Spain… it’s so hard to know what to do

[SushiTilly]

I've got same dilemma. Same costs as well. The clinic needs to consider if further tests are possible. I know it's a numbers game. Top quality grade embryo with thick lining and progesterone levels at correct level. Feels hard to think it's down to luck

[anitaivf in reply to SushiTilly]

I got a call from my doctor… he said it’s only about embryo quality other test such as Era are not useful (he said waste of money)… don’t know what to think…

[SushiTilly in reply to anitaivf]

Dr Tim Childs who sits on HFEA did Instagram video it is true era isn't really conclusive. What was thickness of your lining, progesterone level as embryo quality was fine?

With me all was fine. Sometimes they say you can test the embryo as my husband had Karyotype test as normal it didn't seem worthwhile. So we're back to what else is worth testing.

Heartbreaking bit is RIF is hard area for IVF scientific community because all new tests like ERA, EMMA, ALICE even preimplantation testing is grey area as they don't show significant or noticeable differences in clinical trials. ESHRE guidelines which I've read shows it remains inconclusive. Either we keep trying and spending or we stop to take tests that may or may not make difference. I've got same dilemma.

I'm about to start my period and my mood is really low. So I am struggling to find answers.

Xx

[anitaivf in reply to SushiTilly]

I totally understand your mood… I’m also aware that I should not take decisions in this emotional moment (right after the third implantation failure…) really don’t know if it has sanse to have another stim… I’ll probably transfer my last embryo and than stop everything… my mental health is really bad right know!

[SushiTilly in reply to anitaivf]

I think it is important to have a break. I've got this week off work to spend with myself and go out just reconnect with world around me. Taking time out to stop thinking is important also coming of the medicine impacts the mood

I do agree trying not to make decisions early, let the body heal. I've started my period today and medicine withdrawal is impacting sleep and causing headaches so I concluded it's important to focus on getting well, and start counselling.

I've prepared my question for consultation on Friday. It's important to have clear head before making tough decisions. Eventually we all have cut off point. IVF has been six year journey it's stripped away a lot within me. To regain my life will be journey itself.

[Twiglet2]

Hi I’m so sorry it hasn’t happened for you yet 😢 if you have had no implantation at all yet I would say the ERA test is probably worth a go if you can get it done at your clinic as I know taking the timing slightly has defo helped others.

Also, like you said, up your progesterone (take injection form as well as pessaries) and if you haven’t already tried clexane that helped me (stops clots in Your lining that can prevent implantation). I didn’t stop to test for this disorder just added the clexane in case and the past 3 times I’ve had implantation with it. I have also added in vaginal and oral probiotics the last time and for my upcoming round (last round I had a misscariage at 10 weeks most likely due to embryo issue) so I’m going to copy that round as much as possible and hope any embryo we make is a perfect one this time 🤞🏽 good luck for your next transfer xx

[SushiTilly in reply to Twiglet2]

Thank you Twiglet2 I've almost started my period and I forced myself to exercise today to lift my mood. I spoke with midwife today for impartial advice ahead of consultation and what you advised about different ways to use progesterone. I had used clexane and low level aspirin.

I will ask about ERA, I'm looking into probiotic as I'd never heard of that before. So much to try as maybe it is hard.

As always fingers crossed for us all. I just hope our wishes are answered.

[PinkPanther1234]

Hi, so sorry you are facing this. I did do ERA and found to be post receptive, used the results for my 5th transfer which was successful. Also had to take lots of progesterone and immune protocol due to high NK cells.

I think you can only decide whether to try ERA and to spend the extra £££s. It is so tough when you have already spent a lot. But from personal experience I would say it is useful, if that helps at all.

In the meantime look after yourself, lots of self care and maybe book some nice things to do to look forward to.

Wishing you lots of luck x

[SushiTilly]

Thank you. I've got week of work, spending days out with my partner to live life rather than anticipate it.

Will see what consultant advise. I know era is expensive not significantly proven to make difference but I'll try something if they think it will make a difference. Xx