One final roll of the dice

[lmno]

We’ve finally made the decision (9 months after our last failed cycle) to have one last roll of the dice to try for a sibling (daughter born 2020 on fourth go at IVF/ICSI). We’ve done two rounds in the past 18 months, both of which we only had one embryo to transfer and my AMH has decreased a lot since we started treatment in 2017. Our last round ended in a chemical pregnancy and it absolutely floored me for about 6 months. We’ve decided to change clinics (from EFREC to GCRM if anyone wants to chat privately about Scottish clinics) and agreed this is absolutely the last round. I know for sure my mental health can’t take anymore and I’ve been trapped in a job I hate for too long in order to prioritise trying to have the family we hoped for. I’ve been trying to tell myself that in a year’s time I’ll either have a baby or a new job (I know there’s no equivalence between those two things) which is helping me to try to have hope about either result. Probably due to start treatment in March. It’s so hard to go through so much for such terrible odds (previously been advised our chance of success around 10%) but when it’s your only option for something you want so desperately it’s hard not to keep taking the gamble. There’s part of me that’s terrified to go through it again in case it completely breaks me this time but I’m also feeling hopeful about finally nearing the end of this chapter in our lives. This forum has been so incredibly helpful for me in the past to help me feel less alone. Thanks for letting me ramble! Xx

[Twiglet2]

good luck lovely! I’m about to embark on another round trying for a sibling at GRI after a missed misscariage in October and it’s a bit daunting isn’t it! Practically the day after the miscarriage diagnosis I volunteered for so many extra things at work in hopes of progressing my career again! I have the guilt of could I be focusing this time and money in our wee one instead but I love my siblings so much I defo know long term or would be for him too! So onwards we go ☺️

I’ve heard lots of great things about GCRM wishing you lots of luck!! Xx 💜

[lmno in reply to Twiglet2]

Thanks! So sorry to hear about your MMC - been there and it's devastating. Well done for getting up and trying again. I totally get the guilt and frustration but also keep reminding myself that I didn't ask for this and am just trying to do my best with the cards I've been dealt. When do you start your round? xx

[Twiglet2 in reply to lmno]

That’s a great way to look at it 🤗 I was hoping to start this month but they can’t fit me in until March 🤪 so frustrating! I’m going to try to push for feb though if any cancellations etc xx

[lmno in reply to Twiglet2]

Oh I totally get this, once we started the process for this cycle I was just desperate to get started and am already getting impatient! Xx

[Nakijo]

Its sad about your previous failed transfer. How old were you when you had the first cycle? Did your doctor say anything about taking supplements? Stay hopeful

[Christianbaby]

Good luck on the restart of your journey. Same as you, we are going again for one last time in late February. We are doing DE and we hope to give my child (born from DE too) a sibling. Harsh as it may sound, I agree with you that there will come a time when you tell yourself that "this is the last time". One can only take so much on this often times painful anc cruel journey but with a payoff that's absolutely the best.

Sending you lots and lots of positivity, light, and hope! x

[Leesalou]

just wanted to say I've been trying for a sibling for my son too,

We had him from our fresh cycle in 2017, we was left with 3 Frosties

We finally decided to use these

1sr was unsuccessful

2nd was positive but ended in a miscarriage, which was crushing. Then I decided to do the last one because of the what ifs it's there for a reason, but unfortunately it was unsuccessful,

We are now wondering if it's worth one more shot. As we both feel it's meant to be, but not sure if I'm mentally ready for it. And I'm also now 40,

I've just had my amh done to see what that says and go from there,

Wish you lots and lots of luck with your next journey.

Infertility sucks it truly does, I will always be forever grateful for my son,

Feel free to message me any time

Xx