Hi everyone,
Just sharing on here… Is anybody always hopefully that they’ll conceive naturally in the cycles where you are waiting for another treatment to start? I always get my hopes up only to be dashed! And then feel so silly that I get upset about it again… it’s been 2.5 years of trying.. I guess so unlikely that it will happen naturally.
Anyway looks like AF started today so will be starting meds for a FET tomorrow or Sunday… transfer 3 let’s go!!!! 🤞🏼
It sounds really bad and like I gave up but I got so sad and frustrated every month about not conceiving naturally between IVF that I basically stopped trying (not recommending that) and was just waiting for IVF. I found I couldn't stand how it was making me feel, and it was making my relationship difficult with the pressure of timing. I am just sharing to emphasise the massive toll that it takes and it is not silly to be upset about it. Xx
Also just to say I've seen an unbelievable amount of stories on here coming from people who conceived naturally against all odds when waiting for IVF treatment. I saw that many stories that I almost had to leave the site for a while because it reinforced my sense of failure. I tell you this just to let you know that there are so many people who are conceiving naturally after years of IVF so whilst it may be unlikely, it clearly is happening x
Thanks so much for taking the time to reply Skittles11 … and whilst I’m really sorry that you’ve found yourself in this situation (we wouldn’t wish it on anyone right!!), I really do appreciate having someone that understands. Sometimes all you need is to know you aren’t alone (and a bit of help validating your feelings does wonders too.) sending you a big hug xx
I was exactly the same as Skittles with this. Xx
I am the same. I’ve been almost 5 years trying and I’m still the same. I keep making changes and feel healthier than I’ve ever been. This month I had so much spotting which I never really had before and my period seems to have started today. I was fine and then I was completely overwhelmed. My emotions seem to get worse each cycle. We had 3 failed transfers this year and I think it’s still quite raw. But I feel more positive than ever that it could happen naturally - just to be disappointed each time.
I wonder if this is my life now… I’m positive about our next transfer though. It’s just those few days a month where it really hurts.
Wishing you all the best for your transfer - I do truly believe the more we keeping going the more chance we have. Just glad you have shared and hope others do too as it is emotionally draining sometimes. Thank you x
Hello! For a long time I held on to this hope, which was complete torture.
The few months in the run up to my recent ICSI cycle I wasn’t preoccupied with these thoughts but my poor husband was…he was convinced that we would fall pregnant naturally and would be cancelling our planned cycle!
I think it’s completely normal that we hold on to hopes like this. As skittles mentioned, I have heard many stories of people that fell pregnant after many years of failed ivf, and actually know more than one couple personally that have been this lucky!
We tried for years naturally from about age 30 just assuming it would happen, and I never even got to doing pregnancy tests as I always spotted 5+ days before period was due so I knew there was no point. Took forever to get to IVF and then lockdowns, all the time trying, so in all about 7 years and it never happened. And I tried the clichés of just relaxing and going on holiday numerous times. IVF wasn't straightforward and although we kept trying at first in between rounds and transfers, that side of things was definitely by then just mechanical and if anything only worth a shot in case it saved us some money(!) over another round or transfer. We even tried after losses with renewed hope as I'd read you're more fertile straight after, but actually those months when my period arrived were even harder. I did have success on my third transfer/first FET. But with a baby and after IVF tbh we were done with sex as it was no longer a loving thing and just associated with failure and futility - I felt so stupid for even suggesting it, and we accepted we would always need IVF for a sibling. One more disastrous round, followed by a traumatic PUL and a BFN on a FET, and I thought IVF would never work again either. (This is the bit which may give you some hope
a couple of weeks before trying a natural FET we had our first night out together in years, drank too much and well... we did it once for old times sake (and because, wine) at the wrong time of my cycle and I'm now coming 6mnths. I'm approaching 40, that's 10 years TTC without a snifter and IVF has failed countless times, and I would avoid any posts about falling pregnant naturally as they seemed so irrelevant to me, and made me feel more of a failure. No-one was more shocked that me (I actually thought my weird blood test results were because I had cancer, as that in my mind was more likely than a natural conception, and refused for weeks to take a pregnancy test). So now my advice is if you can manage it and it won't ruin your relationship and your mental health, do it as you never know. Even if it's once in a year. But maybe just see it as a fallback when you're both in a good place and don't put pressure on it each month as given my odds, it could be an extremely long time and happen when you least expect x
What a story!! Thank you so much for sharing. Xxx I think I’ll keep at it in that case 😊
Hey, I'm sorry to hear how you are feeling and know the feeling too well. Our problem was male factor. Low sperm motility. I tried to get my partner to change lifestyle habits but it was hard work and the small changes he made I didn't think would be enough. I had 2 rounds of Ivf that did not work. We tried to conceive for about 2.5 years. And there wasn't a single month I didn't try naturally, and then wait hopefully, only to come on my period. My second round of IVF failed and the consultant called and said your partners sperm is even worse then before, so even less hope.I was in such a depression that spent days in bed and drank way too much wine all the time. I still insisted we try though. I ovulated once after my failed IVF and I because pregnant. I was so shocked, and called the clinic to make sure I definitely wasn't pregnant from that last round (even though I had had a heavy bleed and negative bloods and tests). I'm now 9 months pregnant. Its honestly the hardest thing, being let down every month, I know how lucky I am believe me. But I do think don't not try naturally because you do never know! And the clinics told me I now stood less chance due to his sperm. Little did they or myself know during that conversation I was already pregnant from that 'rubbish'sperm! Sending you love and hope for this year xxx
I’ve not started IVF yet and I’m still clinging to the hopes of conceiving before starting it, and a bit like you, I feel deflated when it doesn’t work each month, even though the chances are slim!
I think it’s because our minds want - need - hope and positivity and so it’s very nice to ride that rollercoaster of hoping for a potential pregnancy each month, even though it then hurts when we come crashing back to reality! That being said, I still think it’s worth trying given the lovely miracle stories you hear x
Hopefully 3rd time lucky 
Brown colour every time I wipe 
BFP on Monday and hoping it's our time 😀
Last eva go hopefully 10th time lucky!
